It was fairly shit I guess but I also feel like I cant say its bad because Ive heard of way worse childhoods
My family did love me and I wasn’t extremely poor but It was still shitty
I never really had a chance though
I had to get speech therapy to even learn how to speak properly I was diagnosed very early with adhd I was always a skinny small weird looking kid who was obviously Non NT
my dad was an alcoholic retard who would cause shit everytime he came home drunk
I always felt kind of detached from my family even now most of them attempt to connect to me But I don’t even feel like I can
My life started to get Truly bad as I got to 7-10 though This is when My lot in life really started to show
I was made to feel alienated And like a reject by most of the kids in my area
This sums it up Alot better then I could put it
I was some what outgoing but still very awkward
I remember how much I craved to fit in and be validated but instead all I got was humiliation. I was actually quite outgoing in early age which is weird to even ponder. All the abuse made me fear judgement, my brain is stuck in fight or flight ever since.
I did Have a couple of actual friends during my childhood though but I Was mainly treated in a shitty way by kids in my area and The kids in school were mostly apathetic to me apart from some who were somewhat nice to me probably out of pity
I was abused by some 15 year old when I was only 8
It only happened a couple of times But I can faintly remember being hit by him and Him picking me up and forcing my head onto the floor and spinning me around while my head was on the concrete
I can sort of remember him Getting some other kids to attack me too
Even now I doubt myself If that ever even happened Because Ive blocked alot of my childhood from my mind but I have scars all over my face That I couldn’t have gotten any other way
The main thing that makes me doubt myself is that my family wasnt negligent and they would have done something if they noticed but when I asked them they said they never even knew any of this happened
But I dont understand how they couldnt have noticed since these scars would have come from noticeable cuts on my face
This shit really makes me consider if Im just schizo and my mind just l made this shit Up for whatever reason or If all of this really happened and somehow no one even noticed
It genuinely fucks with my head to this day
Its always brutal to hear about normal peoples nice childhoods
My whole childhood ruined my already Dysfunctional brain and left me completely neurotic which only worsened with all the experiences that came later on in my teenage years