After all this life experience of loneliness and shitty experiences of being shit on and growing a misanthropic hatred I can no longer even deal with my own family without snapping on them. I'm going to get kicked out at this rate and if I do I'm dead. I need their resources to survive this clown life I've been thrust into. I'm supposed to go to the other side of the world to be with my dad soon and through texting I've already got mad at the dumbass, condescending shit he says to me and the way he is I don't even feel safe going over there anymore. He'll probably fucking kick me out on the street in a foreign country after I call him a fucking cunt to his face. There's no way we won't clash when I'm over there. And I doubt he'll leave me the fuck alone.
Ever since all that shit at uni and being baker acted I feel like my mother doesn't love me anymore. I feel like she looks at me like a freak, unstable. Like those cunts in the psych ward and at uni told her stories about me and she believed them because she doesn't know her own son. She has literally autistic levels of empathy so she doesn't understand me at all. I fucking swear she's an autist. When my security of life is threatened like this I get very nervous that I will be forced to an early rope. Like fuck this shit if I can't even count on my family there's no fucking way I can do this shit.
Ever since all that shit at uni and being baker acted I feel like my mother doesn't love me anymore. I feel like she looks at me like a freak, unstable. Like those cunts in the psych ward and at uni told her stories about me and she believed them because she doesn't know her own son. She has literally autistic levels of empathy so she doesn't understand me at all. I fucking swear she's an autist. When my security of life is threatened like this I get very nervous that I will be forced to an early rope. Like fuck this shit if I can't even count on my family there's no fucking way I can do this shit.
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