me :"oh ok,thanks" (pause)
"why would you ask me that?"
girl: "because you forget sometimes" (little laugh or smile ,I don't remember)
This interaction happened eight years ago while I was still in highschool before dropping out.I always ditched class after lunch break since we were let outside and I was known for cutting class all the time. Everyone hated my guts and no one went out of their way to talk to me. Except this one incident.This one girl in particular was kind of different from the rest in my class due to the fact that I never saw her giggle at me or try to mock me when everyone else did. Even when I completely sperged out at this teacher and she was sitting right opposite of me and while the rest of the class was snickering and shit ,she just ignored me and had her earphones on with a solemn, disappointed look.
This incident was the only time she ever spoke to me .I haven't talked to her before even though I was in the same class as her 1 year prior and shortly after that I dropped out.I have been haunted by this simple interaction for almost a decade and I've posted this on multiple forums trying to understand the vague meaning these words and her motive.People on reddit told me she wanted to break the ice with me but I completely failed her by acting cold and standoffish.I was a total social retard and extremely paranoid back than because of the bullying that I had to go through.She was the one that approached me to my desk alone at the end of class while people were leaving,we never talked or had any history before.What was the reason behind this?am I just in complete denial that perhaps she actually liked me and i fucking blew my only chance like a retard?I can't stop thinking about this,it's always in the back of my mind.She's probably married now with kids and maybe they could've been my kids,i could've been her husband
but I was too blind to see the signs.I don't even remember her face anymore,its all blurry but I still dream of that single moment all the time.Though I believe her name was Melissa as I remember a teacher calling her that but i'm not sure.
Not a day has gone by for the past 8 years since the last time I saw her that I haven't thought of her.Whenever i think of what could have been ,i get this sinking feeling in my chest that makes it hard for me to breathe.The fact that I will never again see her face again let alone have a relationship with her fills me with soul crushing despair.Maybe it's for the best,someone like me could have never given her the happiness she deserved so she's with someone who can now.I don't even know if she's dead or not,8 years is a long time after all.Even so after everything I've been through I wish her happiness and the best in life.She really stole my heart without ever knowing it,I bet she hasn't even thought of me once in these 8 torturous years I've lived afterwards.I think I really loved her and I will never love again.I can only feel lust towards women now,not love.
"why would you ask me that?"
girl: "because you forget sometimes" (little laugh or smile ,I don't remember)
This interaction happened eight years ago while I was still in highschool before dropping out.I always ditched class after lunch break since we were let outside and I was known for cutting class all the time. Everyone hated my guts and no one went out of their way to talk to me. Except this one incident.This one girl in particular was kind of different from the rest in my class due to the fact that I never saw her giggle at me or try to mock me when everyone else did. Even when I completely sperged out at this teacher and she was sitting right opposite of me and while the rest of the class was snickering and shit ,she just ignored me and had her earphones on with a solemn, disappointed look.
This incident was the only time she ever spoke to me .I haven't talked to her before even though I was in the same class as her 1 year prior and shortly after that I dropped out.I have been haunted by this simple interaction for almost a decade and I've posted this on multiple forums trying to understand the vague meaning these words and her motive.People on reddit told me she wanted to break the ice with me but I completely failed her by acting cold and standoffish.I was a total social retard and extremely paranoid back than because of the bullying that I had to go through.She was the one that approached me to my desk alone at the end of class while people were leaving,we never talked or had any history before.What was the reason behind this?am I just in complete denial that perhaps she actually liked me and i fucking blew my only chance like a retard?I can't stop thinking about this,it's always in the back of my mind.She's probably married now with kids and maybe they could've been my kids,i could've been her husband
but I was too blind to see the signs.I don't even remember her face anymore,its all blurry but I still dream of that single moment all the time.Though I believe her name was Melissa as I remember a teacher calling her that but i'm not sure.Not a day has gone by for the past 8 years since the last time I saw her that I haven't thought of her.Whenever i think of what could have been ,i get this sinking feeling in my chest that makes it hard for me to breathe.The fact that I will never again see her face again let alone have a relationship with her fills me with soul crushing despair.Maybe it's for the best,someone like me could have never given her the happiness she deserved so she's with someone who can now.I don't even know if she's dead or not,8 years is a long time after all.Even so after everything I've been through I wish her happiness and the best in life.She really stole my heart without ever knowing it,I bet she hasn't even thought of me once in these 8 torturous years I've lived afterwards.I think I really loved her and I will never love again.I can only feel lust towards women now,not love.
