SuicideFuel Having lifelong frustrations, anxiety, etc. has caused me to long for a return to childhood (or to a state when I was free from troubling worries).

[Diomedes_1112]

Having gotten vaccinated really screwed my mind up and my psychological development. And not to mention, I’m genetically a highly sensitive person, so this only aggravated my anxiety and negativity. I also felt so much feelings of unhappiness, frustration with getting along with people, being a loner, etc. I never had much a close attachment or relationship to anyone, especially my dad, who seems to have the same mental problems as me—negativity (I don’t know the origins/cause of this), high sensitivity, easily angered, etc.

I’m in my mid-twenties so I still have time to make my life better, and everything is slowly starting to improve for me, fortunately. At the same time though, I just hate the realization that my childhood/youth is slowly starting to fade away.

But honestly, I wouldn’t really mind this too much if I had lots of money, which I think is a plausible scenario for me. I’m very interested in STEM degrees, so I think there’s hope. At the same time though, I just hate that there was never a time in my life when I was ever completely anxiety-free with nothing to worry about. Anxiety and negativity have wrecked my mental health and happiness since childhood, since age 12-13, really.

Can anyone relate?

 

[Gooonyyy]

I’m in my mid-twenties so I still have time to make my life better

cope

But honestly, I wouldn’t really mind this too much if I had lots of money, which I think is a plausible scenario for me. I’m very interested in STEM degrees, so I think there’s hope. At the same time though, I just hate that there was never a time in my life when I was ever completely anxiety-free with nothing to worry about. Anxiety and negativity have wrecked my mental health and happiness since childhood, since age 12-13, really.

Can anyone relate?

just don't stress
what would be the consequences?
failure?
if so why care about failure
embrace it or whatever

 

[Moroccancel2-]

I understand you perfectly, brocel.

When life hits me hard and my legs seem to give out, I just let my mind fly. I imagine myself looking more pleasant, with a girlfriend by my side, living a more satisfying life, knowing what it's like to be genuinely loved by a woman, giving a good meaning to living.

But dreams, like the smoke from my cigarettes, fly away.

 

[Cautious Raven]

I'm in a very similar predicament. I don't think I'll be able to handle when my parents pass away. All the responsibilities I'll have to face and go at alone. I don't even really know where to start or what my place is in this world.

 

[Diomedes_1112]

I'm in a very similar predicament. I don't think I'll be able to handle when my parents pass away. All the responsibilities I'll have to face and go at alone. I don't even really know where to start or what my place is in this world.

Same. That thought makes me sad. I’m nearly a total loner. I’ll probably become depressed or entrenched in a hole of depression or prolonged unhappiness.

 

[Diomedes_1112]

I understand you perfectly, brocel.

When life hits me hard and my legs seem to give out, I just let my mind fly. I imagine myself looking more pleasant, with a girlfriend by my side, living a more satisfying life, knowing what it's like to be genuinely loved by a woman, giving a good meaning to living.

But dreams, like the smoke from my cigarettes, fly away.

Yeah. I can relate to that as well.

The thought of those things really elicits a somewhat strong feeling of happiness,….. but then it just fades away as the phantasm that it is.

 

[Cautious Raven]

I understand you perfectly, brocel.

When life hits me hard and my legs seem to give out, I just let my mind fly. I imagine myself looking more pleasant, with a girlfriend by my side, living a more satisfying life, knowing what it's like to be genuinely loved by a woman, giving a good meaning to living.

But dreams, like the smoke from my cigarettes, fly away.

Day dreaming and depersonalization are quintessential

 

[Diomedes_1112]

Day dreaming and depersonalization are quintessential

Yup. Definitely.

 

[Lonelyus]

I want free from all pains or i want to die, Simple AS

 

[svgmn1]

cope

just don't stress
what would be the consequences?
failure?
if so why care about failure
embrace it or whatever

YOU CANT BE THE REAL GOONY!

 

[svgmn1]

YOU CANT BE THE REAL GOONY!

illusion @Gooonyyy

 

[Gooonyyy]

illusion @Gooonyyy

meds right now!

 

[svgmn1]

meds right now!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!