Its because everytime I am suppoused to do something (learn, read, clean up my house) I am tempted by my Pc and the big-ass monitor that I have to just binge watch youtbe videos without end. I am able to get my ass to work after I really push the boundries to the point where either anger, shame or simply the conditions that arise from my laziness ivoke stress and fear that I am motivated to do anything productive.
I used not to do that. At the same time I cared about school, I cared somehwat about me being a good catholic, I cared about my country since I was really invested in politics, I cared about the expectations of my freinds and family, I cared about myself because I wasn't blackpilled.
Then there is the factor of gaming. I set my timer for two hours and play, but I always do more than that, sometimes four time the time I gave myself. Maybe one day I will get a blood clot to form in my leg's vein and it will travel to my lungs (or heart) which will ultimetly do me a favour or kill me.
I used not to do that. At the same time I cared about school, I cared somehwat about me being a good catholic, I cared about my country since I was really invested in politics, I cared about the expectations of my freinds and family, I cared about myself because I wasn't blackpilled.
Then there is the factor of gaming. I set my timer for two hours and play, but I always do more than that, sometimes four time the time I gave myself. Maybe one day I will get a blood clot to form in my leg's vein and it will travel to my lungs (or heart) which will ultimetly do me a favour or kill me.
