We're in hell, it makes sense.
Why else would my life be such a complete disaster in e.v.e.r.y single imaginable way?
And it's a subtle kind of hell too. Would be too easy to just dunk me in a lake of fire and poke me with pitchforks. No, no, no. It's gotta be more subtle than that. I can't even properly complain about it, I feel like a dick and a pussy complaining about my life, I'm the only son of more or less middle class parents, loving ones too. Other people have done much more when they've been given much, much less.
The self-sabotage is a crucial aspect in this unending torture. So on top of 12 years+ of depression, and all kinds of mental disorders that just keep coming out of the woodwork and piling on top of one another, I also blame it on myself and feel like I deserve it. And every year since the start of my depression my life got worse. You'd think I'd hit a rock bottom, but somehow life found a way to show me that it can get so much worse. Now I've got like 10 different sources of anxiety, PTSD etc...
You're brilliant Mr. Demon, I'll give you that. You're a sick son of a bitch but you did a good job.
Why else would my life be such a complete disaster in e.v.e.r.y single imaginable way?
And it's a subtle kind of hell too. Would be too easy to just dunk me in a lake of fire and poke me with pitchforks. No, no, no. It's gotta be more subtle than that. I can't even properly complain about it, I feel like a dick and a pussy complaining about my life, I'm the only son of more or less middle class parents, loving ones too. Other people have done much more when they've been given much, much less.
The self-sabotage is a crucial aspect in this unending torture. So on top of 12 years+ of depression, and all kinds of mental disorders that just keep coming out of the woodwork and piling on top of one another, I also blame it on myself and feel like I deserve it. And every year since the start of my depression my life got worse. You'd think I'd hit a rock bottom, but somehow life found a way to show me that it can get so much worse. Now I've got like 10 different sources of anxiety, PTSD etc...
You're brilliant Mr. Demon, I'll give you that. You're a sick son of a bitch but you did a good job.
