N
First off I want to say I do not want to infect any of you with my negative vibes. If you are having a good day, I don't want to ruin it, go outside and enjoy your day. For the rest of you, keep reading.
My life has been utter shit from the beginning. Ever since I was a little kid my parents treated me like shit for no reason and I would consistently cry myself to sleep every night. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere and as a result because very high inhib in public. I coped with God for YEARS because it was the only thing that made me feel not alone. Eventually I realized after trying to follow God's commandments (I've read the entire Bible multiple times, I know it all by heart) I realized that if God did exist, he would have helped me a long time ago. After I realized that, then the true loneliness set in.
My parents are insane. My dad has borderline insanity, very, very crazy. He beat me bloody when I was a little kid because he thought I was lying about throwing away a $1 waterbottle from the dollar store. I didn't throw it away, and I wasn't lying. My eyebrows are uneven and I have a deviated septum (my nose is very crooked) to this day as a result. My dad was also insane to the point where I was not allowed to go anywhere, have anything, eat any kind of candy at all, or have anything nice. I also was not allowed to play video games at all as a kid. So while you look back in nostalgia to the times of Black ops 2 and original minecraft, I simply have no childhood. I really can't even remember my childhood at all, because all the days were exactly the same. All I remember is crying for years and years and years alone.
Today you can only imagine what I've become. I'm still alone, even worse I get bullied for my narrow shoulders and recessed jaw. No matter how nice I am to people and hard working I am at work, I am still the butt of all jokes. I literally experience this everywhere. I imagine it's just the failo effect from maybe the way I walk or my frame or some shit. I'm not even short, but I'm fairly skinny despite gymcelling for the last 6 months.
I essentially have no real family, no friends, I am treated like shit everywhere I go, I live in the middle of nowhere, I'm extremely bored because I never did anything as a kid and as a result videogames aren't even fun to me, they bore me because I never got assimilated to them as a kid. I literally cannot enjoy life.
At work I constantly have to work hard because if I start relaxing for just a minute, I remember the pain at home that I go to, and my horrible fate. I literally cannot not be depressed I've tried so hard but my life is just incomplete, I'm lonely as can be and I have to work to feed myself, my parents won't do anything for me.
My dad tried to kick me out during Coronavirus (fuck that old evil bastard) but my mother said she would divorce him if he tried. My mom doesn't really care about me but at least she doesn't want to see me dead. She even told me she doesn't really care about me, I didn't answer back, I just realized that when my parents had sex to create me, someone had to necessarily become this person and live this life, and I was the unlucky soul that got put into this body. I don't actually believe that but I do believe I was unlucky, and that's the only analogy I can use to explain it.
If you can relate to any of this I am brutally sorry for you, but no worries, we live this life together.
I try to be positive but it's much easier to be positive when life is positive. You reflect your life essentially.
I am fine with being a permavirgin, I just wish I wasn't treated like absolute shit by society. That's why I'm glad this forum exists, I can relate to you all greatly.
My life has been utter shit from the beginning. Ever since I was a little kid my parents treated me like shit for no reason and I would consistently cry myself to sleep every night. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere and as a result because very high inhib in public. I coped with God for YEARS because it was the only thing that made me feel not alone. Eventually I realized after trying to follow God's commandments (I've read the entire Bible multiple times, I know it all by heart) I realized that if God did exist, he would have helped me a long time ago. After I realized that, then the true loneliness set in.
My parents are insane. My dad has borderline insanity, very, very crazy. He beat me bloody when I was a little kid because he thought I was lying about throwing away a $1 waterbottle from the dollar store. I didn't throw it away, and I wasn't lying. My eyebrows are uneven and I have a deviated septum (my nose is very crooked) to this day as a result. My dad was also insane to the point where I was not allowed to go anywhere, have anything, eat any kind of candy at all, or have anything nice. I also was not allowed to play video games at all as a kid. So while you look back in nostalgia to the times of Black ops 2 and original minecraft, I simply have no childhood. I really can't even remember my childhood at all, because all the days were exactly the same. All I remember is crying for years and years and years alone.
Today you can only imagine what I've become. I'm still alone, even worse I get bullied for my narrow shoulders and recessed jaw. No matter how nice I am to people and hard working I am at work, I am still the butt of all jokes. I literally experience this everywhere. I imagine it's just the failo effect from maybe the way I walk or my frame or some shit. I'm not even short, but I'm fairly skinny despite gymcelling for the last 6 months.
I essentially have no real family, no friends, I am treated like shit everywhere I go, I live in the middle of nowhere, I'm extremely bored because I never did anything as a kid and as a result videogames aren't even fun to me, they bore me because I never got assimilated to them as a kid. I literally cannot enjoy life.
At work I constantly have to work hard because if I start relaxing for just a minute, I remember the pain at home that I go to, and my horrible fate. I literally cannot not be depressed I've tried so hard but my life is just incomplete, I'm lonely as can be and I have to work to feed myself, my parents won't do anything for me.
My dad tried to kick me out during Coronavirus (fuck that old evil bastard) but my mother said she would divorce him if he tried. My mom doesn't really care about me but at least she doesn't want to see me dead. She even told me she doesn't really care about me, I didn't answer back, I just realized that when my parents had sex to create me, someone had to necessarily become this person and live this life, and I was the unlucky soul that got put into this body. I don't actually believe that but I do believe I was unlucky, and that's the only analogy I can use to explain it.
If you can relate to any of this I am brutally sorry for you, but no worries, we live this life together.
I try to be positive but it's much easier to be positive when life is positive. You reflect your life essentially.
I am fine with being a permavirgin, I just wish I wasn't treated like absolute shit by society. That's why I'm glad this forum exists, I can relate to you all greatly.
