During my second year at university, I developed a crush on a girl in my class. We were friendly with each other and I would try to talk to her whenever I should. I knew that I could never be in a relationship with her, and I wasn't trying to pursue one either, but I still obsessed about trying to be liked by her. I would often wait for her after lessons to try to talk to her. I didn't exactly stalk her and didn't follow her to her flat or anything, but I did hang around her enough for her to tell be one day that she had noticed be looking at her a lot and following her around and that she felt uncomfortable.
I was partly aware of my obsession and I told her that I had mental health issues and that she should tell me if I made her uncomfortable again. This was a few days before a class trip to Milan. During the trip I tried my best to keep my distance, and I didn't follow her that much, but I obsess a bit about taking group photos on my 35mm camera with her in them. After the trip I didn't really speak to her for about two weeks but nevertheless I got an email from the university telling me not to speak to her, and that I will be meeting with the Student Conduct team. During the meeting I was made to sign a "no-contact agreement" where I wasn't to make any contact at all with her. I at I followed it but then one day after a rehearsal (we study music) she smiled and side to me "good job", so I replied thanks, good job to you too" and walked away. Then a few days later there was a performance by the university orchestra and she was leading it (she plays violin very well). Afterwards I said "well done" to her. I also commented "well done" on an Instagram post.
I don't know why I thought that was necessary or why I was still trying to be friendly with her. I should've taken my friend's advice to just ignore her, but saying just a couple words was enough to land me with a one semester's suspension from my course. It's complicated to explain the whole situation right now, but I in order to rejoin, I need to be checked by the medical team, and at the moment I'm not allowed to go onto campus. I did sneak into the building a couple times after my suspension thinking that no one would spot me, but some teachers spotted my in the car park and I later got an email saying that if I continued to go to campus they would get the police involved.
Let me explain why I was attracted to her: I have a strong preference for Asian women, and this girl was Chinese/Singaporean or something. She was pretty good looking, probably around a 6 or 7, and her name was Katherine. She was also one of those people who often leads group activities, and was one of the students selected to show people around on the university open days. After I found out about the suspension I started to hate her and the last time a spoke to her was when I found her alone in one of the rooms at the university looking at her computer. I went in and told her how distressed she made me feel and that I was going to kill myself. I knew that I wasn't actually going to do it, but I wanted to show her how I felt. She looked pretty horrified when I told her that. Now that university is going to be starting again I'm starting to get really annoyed about it all. I'm really starting to hate Katherine; why did she have to complain? She had to start shit, and then giving mixed signals. She's so self-entailed and doesn't care how she affects others. I could slap her in the face right now, I'm so annoyed. But obviously I won't and can't do that, because I don't want to get expelled from the university, and it's not worth it.
Also, I did post the first half of this on a subreddit previously, and copy pasted it here.
I was partly aware of my obsession and I told her that I had mental health issues and that she should tell me if I made her uncomfortable again. This was a few days before a class trip to Milan. During the trip I tried my best to keep my distance, and I didn't follow her that much, but I obsess a bit about taking group photos on my 35mm camera with her in them. After the trip I didn't really speak to her for about two weeks but nevertheless I got an email from the university telling me not to speak to her, and that I will be meeting with the Student Conduct team. During the meeting I was made to sign a "no-contact agreement" where I wasn't to make any contact at all with her. I at I followed it but then one day after a rehearsal (we study music) she smiled and side to me "good job", so I replied thanks, good job to you too" and walked away. Then a few days later there was a performance by the university orchestra and she was leading it (she plays violin very well). Afterwards I said "well done" to her. I also commented "well done" on an Instagram post.
I don't know why I thought that was necessary or why I was still trying to be friendly with her. I should've taken my friend's advice to just ignore her, but saying just a couple words was enough to land me with a one semester's suspension from my course. It's complicated to explain the whole situation right now, but I in order to rejoin, I need to be checked by the medical team, and at the moment I'm not allowed to go onto campus. I did sneak into the building a couple times after my suspension thinking that no one would spot me, but some teachers spotted my in the car park and I later got an email saying that if I continued to go to campus they would get the police involved.
Let me explain why I was attracted to her: I have a strong preference for Asian women, and this girl was Chinese/Singaporean or something. She was pretty good looking, probably around a 6 or 7, and her name was Katherine. She was also one of those people who often leads group activities, and was one of the students selected to show people around on the university open days. After I found out about the suspension I started to hate her and the last time a spoke to her was when I found her alone in one of the rooms at the university looking at her computer. I went in and told her how distressed she made me feel and that I was going to kill myself. I knew that I wasn't actually going to do it, but I wanted to show her how I felt. She looked pretty horrified when I told her that. Now that university is going to be starting again I'm starting to get really annoyed about it all. I'm really starting to hate Katherine; why did she have to complain? She had to start shit, and then giving mixed signals. She's so self-entailed and doesn't care how she affects others. I could slap her in the face right now, I'm so annoyed. But obviously I won't and can't do that, because I don't want to get expelled from the university, and it's not worth it.
Also, I did post the first half of this on a subreddit previously, and copy pasted it here.
