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Story Got a Haircut™ brb ascending

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Ok boys so my hair was long as shit due to me being scared of going outside and general laziness, so I actually went outside, got a choccy bar from the shop and walked to the barbers. I wasn't even getting paranoid like I would usually because no one was outside. :feelzez:

So I pop over there with my glasses on, but because it was cold and shit, when I got inside my glasses were already fogged up and I looked like one of them anime characters like this:
Tenor 2

I take them off and start wiping them because I thought that's how you get it to disappear, thinking no one would notice. I was wrong. The 3 people waiting and a barber are looking at me while chuckling a little bit because the fog came back and I wasn't really paying attention, so I just rubbed it away again, so it comes back again. Meanwhile the lady is talking to me saying I can go as the others are waiting for a specific barber without me even acknowledging her because I didn't know she was talking to me. Embarrassing but whatever.


So anyways I get straight in, and the lady asks me what I wanted, and I forgot to prepare so I was like FUCUCUCCKKKK WHAT IS A HAIRLCUT and just asked for a 2 on the back and sides and some off the top (while having gone red and panicking lol). I think to myself, "it's all fucking good let's FUCKING go boys." The lady asks about college and shit and I respond effortlessly with short, poorly worded answers.

I'm then thinking, under the tarp thing, could you have a wank under there. Before you jump to conclusions, no, I did not try, just wondered. I mean, it's not like they'd notice (I'm looking at you @chudur-budur).

She's getting on with the cut and doing a bit of a shit job so I'm not surprised the other customers were waiting for the other barber. Then I realise I don't even know what the fuck she's doing because I don't have my glasses on; I left them on the bit where the mirror is. I continue half blind as it would have obstructed her anyway, but I can see she's cut my thin layer of protection from people noticing my receding hairline (not good!). So my hair's a bit shorter on the front and people can easily see the small bald patch on the back of my head and poor hairline (I used to sweep it over my forehead a bit). She then COMMENTED ON IT THE FATTY and I was like "haha idk".

Disheartened, I fuck off back home after paying a tenner for a shit cut, but halfway home, a hot Stacy comes up to me, sees my fresh as fuck Haircut™, already getting on her knees to suck my dick, but just before doing so, asks if I have respect for wymn. Obviously I say no, kick her in the face and try to walk home, fighting off fit girls every few seconds after they see me Getting Myself Out There™ with my Haircut™ and Confidence™, instantly wet in my presence.

In reality I just went home with a dairy milk I bought from the shop and now I'm lying in bed writing about how I got a haircut to a bunch of people who don't give a shit and piss in bottles.


FUCJCKCCKKKKK JUST REALISED WAS I WAS ABOUT TO POST I LEFT MY GLAASES AT THE BARBERS SHIT

Edit: don't worry chaps I left them in the living room not the barbers
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Ok boys so my hair was long as shit due to me being scared of going outside and general laziness, so I actually went outside, got a choccy bar from the shop and walked to the barbers. I wasn't even getting paranoid like I would usually because no one was outside. :feelzez:

So I pop over there with my glasses on, but because it was cold and shit, when I got inside my glasses were already fogged up and I looked like one of them anime characters like this:
View attachment 82381
I take them off and start wiping them because I thought that's how you get it to disappear, thinking no one would notice. I was wrong. The 3 people waiting and a barber are looking at me while chuckling a little bit because the fog came back and I wasn't really paying attention, so I just rubbed it away again, so it comes back again. Meanwhile the lady is talking to me saying I can go as the others are waiting for a specific barber without me even acknowledging her because I didn't know she was talking to me. Embarrassing but whatever.


So anyways I get straight in, and the lady asks me what I wanted, and I forgot to prepare so I was like FUCUCUCCKKKK WHAT IS A HAIRLCUT and just asked for a 2 on the back and sides and some off the top (while having gone red and panicking lol). I think to myself, "it's all fucking good let's FUCKING go boys." The lady asks about college and shit and I respond effortlessly with short, poorly worded answers.

I'm then thinking, under the tarp thing, could you have a wank under there. Before you jump to conclusions, no, I did not try, just wondered. I mean, it's not like they'd notice (I'm looking at you @chudur-budur).

She's getting on with the cut and doing a bit of a shit job so I'm not surprised the other customers were waiting for the other barber. Then I realise I don't even know what the fuck she's doing because I don't have my glasses on; I left them on the bit where the mirror is. I continue half blind as it would have obstructed her anyway, but I can see she's cut my thin layer of protection from people noticing my receding hairline (not good!). So my hair's a bit shorter on the front and people can easily see the small bald patch on the back of my head and poor hairline (I used to sweep it over my forehead a bit). She then COMMENTED ON IT THE FATTY and I was like "haha idk".

Disheartened, I fuck off back home after paying a tenner for a shit cut, but halfway home, a hot Stacy comes up to me, sees my fresh as fuck Haircut™, already getting on her knees to suck my dick, but just before doing so, asks if I have respect for wymn. Obviously I say no, kick her in the face and try to walk home, fighting off fit girls every few seconds after they see me Getting Myself Out There™ with my Haircut™ and Confidence™, instantly wet in my presence.

In reality I just went home with a dairy milk I bought from the shop and now I'm lying in bed writing about how I got a haircut to a bunch of people who don't give a shit and piss in bottles.


FUCJCKCCKKKKK JUST REALISED WAS I WAS ABOUT TO POST I LEFT MY GLAASES AT THE BARBERS SHIT

Edit: don't worry chaps I left them in the living room not the barbers
You should've tried to pull off the tarp thing tbh.
 
Good read tbh
 
volcel if you don't get this haircut :chad:
 
Wtf br0 nice threaadd
 
At first I thought too long don´t wanna read. But it was pretty entertaining.

Spongebob when the barber is cutting your hair shorter than you want but too shy to complain
 
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I'm then thinking, under the tarp thing, could you have a wank under there. Before you jump to conclusions, no, I did not try, just wondered. I mean, it's not like they'd notice (I'm looking at you @chudur-budur).

This is what actually everyone should do tbh. Once I was getting my Haircut™ from a stacy whore and she was bending over me unnecessarily close and placing her cleavage extremely close to my nose. She was doing that to make me giving her decent amount of tips, obviously I gave her no tips. The whole thing made me turned on and I started to wank under the tarp. Having a micropenis and manlet frame, both the chair and tarp were way bigger for me, so whore could not notice I was fapping underneath, she just asked why I am breathing like that, I said I have allergies with dust and dandruff.
 
Good job OP we are proud of you
 
LMAO! Good read - the part about leaving your glasses at the barber's followed by the edit cracked me up. Nice job, OP.
 
i want a chocy bar

lol im so happy my mom cuts my hair now so i can tell her how i want it
Nice then you save that money, haircuts are expensive as fuck!
 
.
This is what actually everyone should do tbh. Once I was getting my Haircut™ from a stacy whore and she was bending over me unnecessarily close and placing her cleavage extremely close to my nose. She was doing that to make me giving her decent amount of tips, obviously I gave her no tips. The whole thing made me turned on and I started to wank under the tarp. Having a micropenis and manlet frame, both the chair and tarp were way bigger for me, so whore could not notice I was fapping underneath, she just asked why I am breathing like that, I said I have allergies with dust and dandruff.
I had a landwhale so I couldn't fap. Also didn't have my glasses so I couldn't see her properly. Every incel should do this tbh
i want a chocy bar
https://www.waitrose.com/ecom/produ...MI4Lzbmvn63wIVTCrTCh0r9g9WEAQYASABEgJ90fD_BwE
 
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Based™
entertaining read tbh
 
a bunch of people who don't give a shit and piss in bottles.

:forcedsmile:

lol, i went to a foid hairdresser once, thinking she would have a better perspective on what would look best. WORST MOVE EVER. the cut looked like utter cit. the one positive though is she was hot and spent a good 5 mins massaging my scalp w/ shampoo b4 cutting my hair. it was a little awkward but felt good, i didn't know it was part of the service b4 going.
 
I read it. I care. Entertaining story.
 
This is why I don't go outside.
 
@Gengar have you finished reading?
Tbh bumping because I'm going to get a haircut in like 30 mins unless it closes because it closes in like an hour 10 mins so I should probably hurry the fuvk up. Will update.
 
The lady did a pretty good job. I came across a guy I get the bus with and he said hi to me, which was pretty nice. I also saw an elderly couple who were getting out of their car and offered to help them with the wheelchair, but they declined but it was a nice interaction. Also, due to practising conversation skills, it was a bit less awkward than last time. Unfortunately I didn't get a choccy bar because I was mentally exhausted by the end of it.
Best experience outside I've ever had honestly, due to not seeing anyone that will take pictures of me like they sometimes do, and the barber doing a not completely shut job.
 

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