G
Ok boys so my hair was long as shit due to me being scared of going outside and general laziness, so I actually went outside, got a choccy bar from the shop and walked to the barbers. I wasn't even getting paranoid like I would usually because no one was outside. 
So I pop over there with my glasses on, but because it was cold and shit, when I got inside my glasses were already fogged up and I looked like one of them anime characters like this:
I take them off and start wiping them because I thought that's how you get it to disappear, thinking no one would notice. I was wrong. The 3 people waiting and a barber are looking at me while chuckling a little bit because the fog came back and I wasn't really paying attention, so I just rubbed it away again, so it comes back again. Meanwhile the lady is talking to me saying I can go as the others are waiting for a specific barber without me even acknowledging her because I didn't know she was talking to me. Embarrassing but whatever.
So anyways I get straight in, and the lady asks me what I wanted, and I forgot to prepare so I was like FUCUCUCCKKKK WHAT IS A HAIRLCUT and just asked for a 2 on the back and sides and some off the top (while having gone red and panicking lol). I think to myself, "it's all fucking good let's FUCKING go boys." The lady asks about college and shit and I respond effortlessly with short, poorly worded answers.
I'm then thinking, under the tarp thing, could you have a wank under there. Before you jump to conclusions, no, I did not try, just wondered. I mean, it's not like they'd notice (I'm looking at you @chudur-budur).
She's getting on with the cut and doing a bit of a shit job so I'm not surprised the other customers were waiting for the other barber. Then I realise I don't even know what the fuck she's doing because I don't have my glasses on; I left them on the bit where the mirror is. I continue half blind as it would have obstructed her anyway, but I can see she's cut my thin layer of protection from people noticing my receding hairline (not good!). So my hair's a bit shorter on the front and people can easily see the small bald patch on the back of my head and poor hairline (I used to sweep it over my forehead a bit). She then COMMENTED ON IT THE FATTY and I was like "haha idk".
Disheartened, I fuck off back home after paying a tenner for a shit cut, but halfway home, a hot Stacy comes up to me, sees my fresh as fuck Haircut™, already getting on her knees to suck my dick, but just before doing so, asks if I have respect for wymn. Obviously I say no, kick her in the face and try to walk home, fighting off fit girls every few seconds after they see me Getting Myself Out There™ with my Haircut™ and Confidence™, instantly wet in my presence.
In reality I just went home with a dairy milk I bought from the shop and now I'm lying in bed writing about how I got a haircut to a bunch of people who don't give a shit and piss in bottles.
FUCJCKCCKKKKK JUST REALISED WAS I WAS ABOUT TO POST I LEFT MY GLAASES AT THE BARBERS SHIT
Edit: don't worry chaps I left them in the living room not the barbers
So I pop over there with my glasses on, but because it was cold and shit, when I got inside my glasses were already fogged up and I looked like one of them anime characters like this:
I take them off and start wiping them because I thought that's how you get it to disappear, thinking no one would notice. I was wrong. The 3 people waiting and a barber are looking at me while chuckling a little bit because the fog came back and I wasn't really paying attention, so I just rubbed it away again, so it comes back again. Meanwhile the lady is talking to me saying I can go as the others are waiting for a specific barber without me even acknowledging her because I didn't know she was talking to me. Embarrassing but whatever.
So anyways I get straight in, and the lady asks me what I wanted, and I forgot to prepare so I was like FUCUCUCCKKKK WHAT IS A HAIRLCUT and just asked for a 2 on the back and sides and some off the top (while having gone red and panicking lol). I think to myself, "it's all fucking good let's FUCKING go boys." The lady asks about college and shit and I respond effortlessly with short, poorly worded answers.
I'm then thinking, under the tarp thing, could you have a wank under there. Before you jump to conclusions, no, I did not try, just wondered. I mean, it's not like they'd notice (I'm looking at you @chudur-budur).
She's getting on with the cut and doing a bit of a shit job so I'm not surprised the other customers were waiting for the other barber. Then I realise I don't even know what the fuck she's doing because I don't have my glasses on; I left them on the bit where the mirror is. I continue half blind as it would have obstructed her anyway, but I can see she's cut my thin layer of protection from people noticing my receding hairline (not good!). So my hair's a bit shorter on the front and people can easily see the small bald patch on the back of my head and poor hairline (I used to sweep it over my forehead a bit). She then COMMENTED ON IT THE FATTY and I was like "haha idk".
Disheartened, I fuck off back home after paying a tenner for a shit cut, but halfway home, a hot Stacy comes up to me, sees my fresh as fuck Haircut™, already getting on her knees to suck my dick, but just before doing so, asks if I have respect for wymn. Obviously I say no, kick her in the face and try to walk home, fighting off fit girls every few seconds after they see me Getting Myself Out There™ with my Haircut™ and Confidence™, instantly wet in my presence.
In reality I just went home with a dairy milk I bought from the shop and now I'm lying in bed writing about how I got a haircut to a bunch of people who don't give a shit and piss in bottles.
FUCJCKCCKKKKK JUST REALISED WAS I WAS ABOUT TO POST I LEFT MY GLAASES AT THE BARBERS SHIT
Edit: don't worry chaps I left them in the living room not the barbers
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