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SuicideFuel Giga, giga, giga, giga brutal realisation early morning last night (third day of February 2022)

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AutisticMonstrosity

AutisticMonstrosity

34 y.o. KHHV dateless, 169 cm skincel autist NEET
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Last time I went to bed at 3:45 AM my local time. Immediately I started hearing something. Woman making strange, similar noise, again and again. I only could think that it was some kind of laugh, but not really. Because I did not hear any talking, just the strange "laugh". I listened to it and tried to fall asleep (I was having a bad prostate feeling that prevented falling asleep, I should have got up almost immediately and take ibuprofen to get the inflammation feeling away, but I did not do that, because I was maybe becoming sick, prostate inflammation feeling is a sign of it and taking ibuprofen while the body fights an infection causes the infection to win). After a LONG time listening to it I heard a man roaring, then I realised what it was. It was the young couple in their bedroom in their bed above me. The woman (who I for the first time watched directly in the eyes 2 days (now 3 days) ago and for the first time saw her face, she came just behind me in the same main-door opening that I opened with my key. She was 25 years old maximum, maybe 21-23 years old, she had healed acne spots/scars in the face, big ones (skin was good enough for not ruining her looks) and otherwise nowhere near as attractive face as I would have guessed.) had been giving blowjob for like an hour or something, it took very long and it was on-going when I shut down my PC at 3:45 AM and went to bed. I watched YouTube and the PC makes some background noise as well, so I did not hear when it started. But in the silence with all my concentration on my surroundings I heard her when she took breath or got the reaction that you get when you put something too deep into your mouth (I don't know what it is called in English). Or just general sounds of giving a blowjob, or combination. She was probably deep-throating. And it lasted and lasted and I knew I wasn't gonna fall asleep, but I kept lying in the bed and listening to it. It lasted over an hour. Longest intercourse I have clocked from them was 50 minutes last June. It clearly beat that record, though I did not have the clock with me. Only later when it ended and I got up some time later it was 5:10 AM I realised how long it lasted. Super brutal that part alone when I have lifelong, genetic, mostly incurable premature ejaculation.

It is the same brutal realisation than when I for the first time understood that I was hearing live intercourse by them (after wondering what sound that was for a long time every time I heard it, I thought it was a washing machine clattering in the middle of the night and the woman's screams were from the dog below me). Because the sucking sound was something that was very familiar. I actually have heard this kind of sex by them literally hundreds of times without realising that it was blowjob/sex. I already knew that he has much stronger need/libido for orgasm/sexual release than her. But their relationship is much better than I thought, she actually takes care about him much better than I knew. It was not 69 or fingering pussy at the same time, because the woman did not moan a single time during the very long sucking. It was not the foreplay I can spot/know about when I hear their bed emitting sounds from movements on top of the bed. They did not move at all. After it ended I heard water being used from the tap, but not shower. They always shower after intercourse. So only hand-washing etc. I lied in my bed thinking about should I write this experience down now. I lied in the bed for like 20 minutes or something after the man ejaculated. When I got up, it was 5:10 AM. I took ibuprofen and did not open the PC.

I had to wake up at 11 and I went again to the bed an hour later, at 6:10 AM. No problem falling asleep because the ibuprofen reduced the inflammation feeling. So, after I got back home at 14, I went to toilet and spend there 2 hours straight just crying and using A LOT of toilet paper in the process. Also contributing factor was that I saw super close at bus stop local native, young and attractive foid kissing with a very handsome Iraqi (former) asylum seeker (they all are former or current asylum seekers), cuddling, hugging each other. They (or he) spoke bad English, so maybe he was a recent arrival from Belarus. I have literally seen hundreds of Iraqi, Syrian, North African muslim, Iranian muslim, Turkish muslim or other muslim man, native woman couples and not even a single case where the man is native and the woman is Iraqi, Syrian etc. The man kissing was borderline manlet (I'd say 175 cm) but handsome and fit and NT. All the asylum seeker young men here are very fit like soldiers, and very NT/opposite of autistic. I saw on my short mandatory trip outside also handsome-faced, but short full nigger and another good-looking Arab young man who was also tall. Fortunately they walked alone. I did not see any foreign women like is usually the case. I try to leave my apartment as rarely as possible and try to venture outside at the time possible when there is the least amount of people outside.

It is thousands times worse listening sexual intercourse/coitus/copulation with the foid reaching orgasm and moaning than blowjob, but what hit me hard was that I have heard these blowjob sounds literally hundreds of times without realising what caused the sounds. I feel so stupid. I am in shock, actually. Have been the whole next day. How could I not realise this earlier? How is it even possible to hear the blowjob sounds?

I have had this page open since 16 or some time after that, but at 20-22 and even later I have heard some couple, very likely them, shouting to each other, the man shouting "be normal" for example, "don't interrupt, listen", something about cutting something (food) and taking it etc. etc. Made me feel a little better.

So, in effect this roughly doubles the times I have heard them having sex (if sex done only to the man counts), because it was so familiar and strange sound. Because the man lasted so long, the ejaculation apparently was so strong and orgasm good that I heard the man super clearly when he came and I needed that to realise this.

I wanted to kill myself very soon over this during this day and when lying in the bed just after the realisation, already was planning about what to do with my body, ordering not to waste money on my coffin. I wasn't even planning to use my savings before "roping". But I feel somewhat better now. Still hearing normal sex with love and at least once every day (frequency and quality with which not even surgeons etc. could afford here with escorts) kills my ability to want to go to prostitutes. It is not the same thing at all compared to when sleeping normally in own bed and waking in the middle of the night with your GF at your side and spontaneously starting to have sex and the ability to fall asleep again soon after it instead of with escorts after cumming, back to -20 Celsius degrees cold outside and longish trip back home to the warmth.
 
dude do something to make it more bearable to read next time then ill consider reading
 
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Niggatoro :feelshaha:
 
read all, brutal.
the most precious thing in life is genuine human warmth coming from a foid.
and we are denied by it by nature
we are the bad guys
 
Sad story bro, put some acoustic protection or see you in hell
 
Huge wall of text for saying that you heard your neighbours fuckin .... keep it short please.
 
Huge wall of text for saying that you heard your neighbours fuckin .... keep it short please.
This was about NOT hearing them fucking and not earlier than this realising that this familiar thing that I have heard many times was sexual activity, not sex (coitus) but blowjob to sexually satisfy the man, and the man only. It was long and no sexual pleasure to the women (I mean, pussy remained unused the whole time, maybe she got sexual pleasure from sucking the dick. But the foid was not in a need of a orgasm).

I write what I want. You don't have to read.
read all, brutal.
the most precious thing in life is genuine human warmth coming from a foid.
and we are denied by it by nature
we are the bad guys
Thank you. At least one person read and that made writing it worthwhile.
 
Just because foids in Japan can be tan doesn’t mean they’re black:feelsseriously:
Not for the Cucked States of Murica

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GigaOver for those who don't recognize the Niggertoro Supremacy

E1nHpUZXIAMExhs.jpg
 
I think you got testicular cancer you better get that prostate inflammation checked out
 
I think you got testicular cancer you better get that prostate inflammation checked out
prostate inflammation, chronic prostatitis, Chronic Pelvic Pain Syndrome (CPPS) is not testicular cancer.
 
It is the same brutal realisation than when I for the first time understood that I was hearing live intercourse by them (after wondering what sound that was for a long time every time I heard it, I thought it was a washing machine clattering in the middle of the night and the woman's screams were from the dog below me).
So relatable. I went through a similar period thinking my old neighbours were constructing furniture. I just played 'Kid icurus' on nintendo wii virtual console, unphased by it all.

(I was having a bad prostate feeling that prevented falling asleep,
I had a similar thing happen. But mine was most likely a ghost sticking a finger up my butt.
 
This was about NOT hearing them fucking and not earlier than this realising that this familiar thing that I have heard many times was sexual activity, not sex (coitus) but blowjob to sexually satisfy the man, and the man only. It was long and no sexual pleasure to the women (I mean, pussy remained unused the whole time, maybe she got sexual pleasure from sucking the dick. But the foid was not in a need of a orgasm).
You have to understand that sex for foids is different than for men. I once saw a TikTok of one complaining about the expectation of orgasm guys have over them, most comments agreeing. Sometimes they don’t feel like it but the sexual act is still pleasurable on itself. Same for blowjobs. They do get wet and enjoy watching a man cumming.
 
I hate hearing my bitch foid neighbour getting fucked by her tallfag boyfriend so much, but I bang the wall with my fist for them to stop, and if they don't I go outside and knock their door (I live in apartment) and they do end up shutting the fuck up. I love ruining their sex so much
 

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