Basically I'm 26 year old autistic NEET, still live with parents, have zero friends or social interaction at all, my life is literally wake up, doomscroll, talk to mum for a bit, wait for 4pm to go gym cuz I prefer when it's busy cuz I'm so lonely, come back, doomscroll and watch YouTube all night in the winter & go on endless bikerides and sit at the park bench in the summer
Basically the only person I actually legit talk to is my mum, that's it, my dad's aloof as fuck most of the time and talks to me like an 8 year old, my mum's the only "normal" interaction I have, I don't have any gym acquaintances because everyone there thinks I'm creepy because I'm ugly and have tourettes and autism that all combine to make me look like a rapey crackhead
Not only that, I also have severe OCD, and panic disorder, my disorder gives me panic attacks over dumb shit like looking at large buildings and objects, looking at the sky, crossing bridges, the sensation of being trapped in my skull, these immediately give me unbearable vertigo that makes me instantly start squirming and grunting in terror, I sometimes almost scream out in panic during these attacks which happen like every time I go outside now, so Ive become agoraphobic and confined to my boring small town because being in a car makes me panic severely, I've missed out on family outings, holidays, and lots of fun events because of these panic attacks, I'm too scared to go on medication and even when I was medicated it did nothing to stop the despair and angst about my looks and the way people treat me
Like should I genuinely rope, because writing this all down really puts into perspective how bleak and hopeless my life is, I think everyone should obviously refuse to rope unless there's genuinely no other option at all, but I think I'm one of the rare diamond examples where there literally is just fucking nothing else left
Basically the only person I actually legit talk to is my mum, that's it, my dad's aloof as fuck most of the time and talks to me like an 8 year old, my mum's the only "normal" interaction I have, I don't have any gym acquaintances because everyone there thinks I'm creepy because I'm ugly and have tourettes and autism that all combine to make me look like a rapey crackhead
Not only that, I also have severe OCD, and panic disorder, my disorder gives me panic attacks over dumb shit like looking at large buildings and objects, looking at the sky, crossing bridges, the sensation of being trapped in my skull, these immediately give me unbearable vertigo that makes me instantly start squirming and grunting in terror, I sometimes almost scream out in panic during these attacks which happen like every time I go outside now, so Ive become agoraphobic and confined to my boring small town because being in a car makes me panic severely, I've missed out on family outings, holidays, and lots of fun events because of these panic attacks, I'm too scared to go on medication and even when I was medicated it did nothing to stop the despair and angst about my looks and the way people treat me
Like should I genuinely rope, because writing this all down really puts into perspective how bleak and hopeless my life is, I think everyone should obviously refuse to rope unless there's genuinely no other option at all, but I think I'm one of the rare diamond examples where there literally is just fucking nothing else left
