I took the first section of a practice for the medicuck entrance exam I will (I guess) be doing later in the year and failed it horribly. 54% After 4 years of college, barely over half the questions right. Yes I wasn't trying my hardest because it was only practice, but that's still ridiculous. Some of the questions were just outright guesses because I had no clue what I was doing. By the end I was just zoning and staring out the window, thinking about what got me to this pathetic point in time.
I talked with my father afterwards on the phone and it was a decent conversation, but he is just so detached from the state of everything. He can't hear the deadpan and lack of intonations in my voice. He does not see that I can't maintain this lifestyle in the long run.
I am going to do the other sections tomorrow and will hopefully have more motivation then, I was very fatigued today for no reason, but the point still stands—that there is no point to any of this. What is it all for? I don't truly care about helping sick people, many of whom are sexhavers and/or deserve their illnesses for mismanaging their lives. If this is only about my own monetary survival, there are plenty of better ways to accomplish it than this.
I have none of the vitality a 22 year old should. Some days (like today) I am just completely lethargic, falling asleep in the middle of the day despite getting enough sleep the night before. It's not even late here and I am half-conscious typing this.
I talked with my father afterwards on the phone and it was a decent conversation, but he is just so detached from the state of everything. He can't hear the deadpan and lack of intonations in my voice. He does not see that I can't maintain this lifestyle in the long run.
I am going to do the other sections tomorrow and will hopefully have more motivation then, I was very fatigued today for no reason, but the point still stands—that there is no point to any of this. What is it all for? I don't truly care about helping sick people, many of whom are sexhavers and/or deserve their illnesses for mismanaging their lives. If this is only about my own monetary survival, there are plenty of better ways to accomplish it than this.
I have none of the vitality a 22 year old should. Some days (like today) I am just completely lethargic, falling asleep in the middle of the day despite getting enough sleep the night before. It's not even late here and I am half-conscious typing this.
