"There's no escaping. You're not going anywhere. The WiFi password has been changed. The doors are bolted shut. The windows are now just paintings of windows. You are in the GropeDome".
Foid: "But, but, ST GROPEHANDS, can I tell you something special?"
"Huh? What do you want to say? Is it about my LinkedIn recommendations?"
Foid: "I think you're a wonderful, sexy stud, ST GROPEHANDS. You have so much to offer this world. You don't have to do this! Letting me go will be the first step in healing yourself!"
"Muh .... muh.... me? Sexy???
Foid: "Yes! Any girl would be lucky to have you! Now, please, let me go, ST GROPEHANDS!"
"That doesn't make sense . . . No one has ever said I'm sexy. All I do is sustain myself on gas station sushi and Monster Energy, and my breath stinks like radioactive tuna".
*STARTS CRYING*
"You know . . . I haven't actually heard anyone say anything so nice to me in almost 25 years . . . except for that one bot on Omegle, but it also asked for my credit card number..."
"But guess what?"
"You ain't tricking me you white BITCH"
"HAHA HAHA HAHA! You really thought that would work? I was born in the darkness of a Chucky Cheese bathroom! MOLDED BY IT!"
"I am going to grab and squeeze your pink ass like this, all night long and make it HONK HONK, like a clown nose"
"NOW COME HERE!"
SAINT GROPEHANDS CHANGED MY LIFE
Last edited:
