The foid asked for a description of why the smoking fart happens
so fast with no warning:
ANSWER
A wet fart is not in fact wet1 but is caused by the muscles forming your anal sphincter rippling at something approximating four times the speed of sound.
2
This catastrophic damage to your anus causes what is known in the medical profession as 'nerve confusion.
'3 Basically your nerves are completely taken by surprise by your calamitous flatulence and search around for the appropriate reaction to send to your brain. Your pain receptors, which have been temporarily scorched from your body, are of no use so the nerves settle either on a pleasant anaesthetic tingling, or in 90% of cases4 the sensation of wetness.
The nerve endings on your fingers are not so easily fooled however, so upon reaching down to the anus, fully expecting a swampy meatland, perhaps an easy slip inwards as if into a tub of custard or jell-O, you are met with the old familiar sensation of the regretfully shaved, but still entirely intact and suitably humid -but not wet- anus that you know and love.
so fast with no warning:
ANSWER
A wet fart is not in fact wet1 but is caused by the muscles forming your anal sphincter rippling at something approximating four times the speed of sound.
2
This catastrophic damage to your anus causes what is known in the medical profession as 'nerve confusion.
'3 Basically your nerves are completely taken by surprise by your calamitous flatulence and search around for the appropriate reaction to send to your brain. Your pain receptors, which have been temporarily scorched from your body, are of no use so the nerves settle either on a pleasant anaesthetic tingling, or in 90% of cases4 the sensation of wetness.
The nerve endings on your fingers are not so easily fooled however, so upon reaching down to the anus, fully expecting a swampy meatland, perhaps an easy slip inwards as if into a tub of custard or jell-O, you are met with the old familiar sensation of the regretfully shaved, but still entirely intact and suitably humid -but not wet- anus that you know and love.
