98GoinOnDead
Agepilled Regretcell
-
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2021
- Posts
- 977
First of all, I haven't posted here before so excuse me if my posting etiquette is wrong. I just wanted to give a background of the experiences that have led me into the path of inceldom.
Basically, I never had any sexual experiences, or even any slight romantic attention during my school years. The most I talked to a girl was surface level pleasantries, but nothing more. I was already into porn from a young age, and by my latter teen years, was into degenerate stuff, yet despite this raging sexual energy it was never able to express itself with a real female, that is, until I turned 18. Basically, upon the realisation that I could now legally (where I am prostitution is defacto legal), I could pay for an escort, and I would be able to lose my v-card that way. The sexual urges and the curiosity of what being physical with a girl would be like was too much. To cut a long story short, I booked a (supposedly) 20 year old escort and went to the hotel, was greeted by her, ponied up 200 dollars and went for it. I almost wrote a spiel right now about how it was an empty experience, and how I felt shame and how I still feel like a virgin and how what I really needed was a gf, but maybe another time... (Just know that escorting does not help you ascend).
I went to uni shortly after and in three years, three hellish years of being a failure of a man who could barely look after himself, and not even getting the degree because of how hopless I was, I never got a gf. I had friends, at first, but eventually that all fell apart when my good friends quit in year one (like I should have done), and I was left floundering and low ranked in the group before being excommunicated. I knew a girl in the first year who was like me, couldn't look after herself or anything. She lived in the same accommodation building as me and we talked a lot. If I were a real man with my shit sorted out, I could have uplifted her and she could have been my gf, if I'd ever had the courage or normalty to hit on her, pfff. After that year, I never talked to a girl in a one on one situation again, and never have done.
Now I am out of uni, 22, doing some course for an IT job. I have a small group of friends but both women in it are taken. Basically, I now have no avenue for meeting girls other than tindertoil and the like. I feel like school, college and uni are the last chances to meet a gf, and I failed. It's not like I will meet a girl at an IT job. I don't meet new people anymore. If I do meet a girl in any capacity, she is always there with some tall Chad eboy gf. What is the point? I am already too old to date a teen girl without everyone calling me a pedo, so my only options are blown out roasties anyway. Plus, I am the shortest guy in my friend group at 5'8. Every young guy is a 6' Chad these days.
It just makes me so mad when I see how it is for normalfags. My mom's friend's son is 18. I have known him since we were kids in the neighboorhood. He got his first gf at 16 (he was already taller than 20yo me by this point). His mom told mine that he'd told her he'd had sex. Lost his v-card at 16 to an actual, loving gf. He got a driving license at 17. I can't drive at 22. He's going to go to uni and probably fucking slay when he is there.
The thing is, I'm not even that bad looking (imho), and I am not THAT autistic. I can go to a bar or a party and have a conversation, make people laugh etc. But I have no idea what to do with girls. None ever approach me. The one and best chance I had to get a girl was a 5/10 at uni and I blew it. Never made a move and never got signals that I should. I am 22. In a few years there will be no hope of pair bonding anymore (I may have even destroyed that with porn and hookers). I just want a cute gf to wife, but I see no opportunities in my future to do so. All I can see is future wageslavery and either celibacy/loneliness or betabuxxing for some used up hoe. I don't want to say it's over but...
Basically, I never had any sexual experiences, or even any slight romantic attention during my school years. The most I talked to a girl was surface level pleasantries, but nothing more. I was already into porn from a young age, and by my latter teen years, was into degenerate stuff, yet despite this raging sexual energy it was never able to express itself with a real female, that is, until I turned 18. Basically, upon the realisation that I could now legally (where I am prostitution is defacto legal), I could pay for an escort, and I would be able to lose my v-card that way. The sexual urges and the curiosity of what being physical with a girl would be like was too much. To cut a long story short, I booked a (supposedly) 20 year old escort and went to the hotel, was greeted by her, ponied up 200 dollars and went for it. I almost wrote a spiel right now about how it was an empty experience, and how I felt shame and how I still feel like a virgin and how what I really needed was a gf, but maybe another time... (Just know that escorting does not help you ascend).
I went to uni shortly after and in three years, three hellish years of being a failure of a man who could barely look after himself, and not even getting the degree because of how hopless I was, I never got a gf. I had friends, at first, but eventually that all fell apart when my good friends quit in year one (like I should have done), and I was left floundering and low ranked in the group before being excommunicated. I knew a girl in the first year who was like me, couldn't look after herself or anything. She lived in the same accommodation building as me and we talked a lot. If I were a real man with my shit sorted out, I could have uplifted her and she could have been my gf, if I'd ever had the courage or normalty to hit on her, pfff. After that year, I never talked to a girl in a one on one situation again, and never have done.
Now I am out of uni, 22, doing some course for an IT job. I have a small group of friends but both women in it are taken. Basically, I now have no avenue for meeting girls other than tindertoil and the like. I feel like school, college and uni are the last chances to meet a gf, and I failed. It's not like I will meet a girl at an IT job. I don't meet new people anymore. If I do meet a girl in any capacity, she is always there with some tall Chad eboy gf. What is the point? I am already too old to date a teen girl without everyone calling me a pedo, so my only options are blown out roasties anyway. Plus, I am the shortest guy in my friend group at 5'8. Every young guy is a 6' Chad these days.
It just makes me so mad when I see how it is for normalfags. My mom's friend's son is 18. I have known him since we were kids in the neighboorhood. He got his first gf at 16 (he was already taller than 20yo me by this point). His mom told mine that he'd told her he'd had sex. Lost his v-card at 16 to an actual, loving gf. He got a driving license at 17. I can't drive at 22. He's going to go to uni and probably fucking slay when he is there.
The thing is, I'm not even that bad looking (imho), and I am not THAT autistic. I can go to a bar or a party and have a conversation, make people laugh etc. But I have no idea what to do with girls. None ever approach me. The one and best chance I had to get a girl was a 5/10 at uni and I blew it. Never made a move and never got signals that I should. I am 22. In a few years there will be no hope of pair bonding anymore (I may have even destroyed that with porn and hookers). I just want a cute gf to wife, but I see no opportunities in my future to do so. All I can see is future wageslavery and either celibacy/loneliness or betabuxxing for some used up hoe. I don't want to say it's over but...