First mental breakdown in 2018 took me 3 days

[ghostcell]

1st of january already sucked being alone all christmas break

so 2nd of january i went to the campus since it reopened to work on my masters thesis

i saw someone from class and heard of all the stories that happened in their christmas break

weeks of straight partying and people hooking up

and today i tried to force myself to go to uni again to atleast work on my thesis

but i cant man

fucking breaking down

im 22 and i missed out on every fucking thing in life, 
college is supposed to be this awesome time but i just fucking hated every second of it

when will this torture end

is there any way i can make my life less miserable once i start working next summer, fuck man...

 

[Solitarian_Walker]

It only ends when you stop the coping and start the roping.

 

[ghostcell]

It only ends when you stop the coping and start the roping.

i dont want to die but i dont want to suffer any more of this shit life 

some days i feel normal and i can sort-of enjoy my weeb activities 

but other days like today i just feel shattered, like a broken human

even if i would looksmax and would find some girl (highly unlikely but lets say for the sake of reasoning)
what would i even say about my past 

i think i have to move abroad and start an entirely new life but i dont know how and where
fuck

the depression will never let me go

 

[Deleted member 2119]

i dont want to die but i dont want to suffer any more of this shit life 

some days i feel normal and i can sort-of enjoy my weeb activities 

but other days like today i just feel shattered, like a broken human

even if i would looksmax and would find some girl (highly unlikely but lets say for the sake of reasoning)
what would i even say about my past 

i think i have to move abroad and start an entirely new life but i dont know how and where
fuck

the depression will never let me go

I'm fantasizing about running away,erasing my memories and starting a new life on an island.I have recebtly watched the video "how people disappear" from vsauce and it's pretty interesting


"what would I even say about my past"

You could always say to yourself that you have worked hard in order to improve your life.

 

[ghostcell]

I'm fantasizing about running away,erasing my memories and starting a new life on an island.I have recebtly watched the video "how people disappear" from vsauce and it's pretty interesting


"what would I even say about my past"

You could always say to yourself that you have worked hard in order to improve your life.

I guess thats true

i am working hard
at least studying and i went to the gym 4x per week for 5 years before i got hospitalized and i couldnt anymore

im thinking i could find a job abroad after uni

but im not rly sure how

running away would be great though....... even if it completely fails... its better than rotting at home

 

[Panda]

when will this torture end

lol....

 

[ghostcell]

lol....

 

[shadowsoulz125]

If u are relatively well off.
Go to the Phillipines. Fuk dem hoes. They are suckers for foreigners, unless u are severely autistic and ugly.
Pop some xanax and get hookers. Find drinking buddies and hobby mates. It will make u cope much better.

 

[ghostcell]

If u are relatively well off.
Go to the Phillipines. Fuk dem hoes. They are suckers for foreigners, unless u are severely autistic and ugly.
Pop some xanax and get hookers. Find drinking buddies and hobby mates. It will make u cope much better.

on a vacation there?

one time i played tinder singapore and i got a lot of matches
even cute ones
who talked to me

biggest suicide fuel cause im here in west europe where im considered butt ugly

i feel like a vacation would be nice  but too short
i will still be stuck in this cancer life for the other 340 days of the year if i take 2 weeks trips to philipines

not sure how i can relocate my life to somewhere so far

 

[Wind]

im 22 and i missed out on every fucking thing in life, 
college is supposed to be this awesome time but i just fucking hated every second of it

I used to have this mentality back in high school. The only way to truly break out of it is to crush any and all hope of ever living your life like a normie. You are incel. You don't get to go to parties, or have fun, or get laid -- that's your life; accept it for what it is, and give up any hopes of ever getting out of this. 

By the time I entered college, I stopped caring, srs. Being a loner doesn't bother me anymore.. most of the time.

 

[nausea]

college is supposed to be this awesome time but i just fucking hated every second of it

it has been pureconcentratedhighoctanesuicidefuel everysinglefuckingday for me

 

[Virgin]

Go ER. Tomorrow is the day to remind them...

 

[Harvey_Weinstein_Hero]

Ghost you sound like a good guy - don't let the normans get you down

 

[/pol/cel]

Ghost you sound like a good guy - don't let the normans get you down

Hey man try not to kill yourself, you make some quality fucking posts on this site. I wont force you to do shit but at least consider the possibility of renconsidering.

 

[nausea]

Hey man try not to kill yourself, you make some quality fucking posts on this site. I wont force you to do shit but at least consider the possibility of renconsidering.

 

[Harvey_Weinstein_Hero]

Hey man I try not to kill yourself, you make some quality fucking posts on this site. I wont force you to do shit but at least consider the possibility of renconsidering.

I've considered the possibility but the PROS of suicide heavily outweigh the cons. My mind is set and I will proceed

 

[ghostcell]

Ghost you sound like a good guy - don't let the normans get you down

thank you man, i will try, but some days no cope is great enough...

how are the preparations going?? though im sad ur plan is already in 6 days and u apparently really want to go through with it, i cant say i dont understand why you want to go through with it..

if there is anything i can do to help u to stop the plan in action, you can always message me though,

 

[Harvey_Weinstein_Hero]

thank you man, i will try, but some days no cope is great enough...

how are the preparations going?? though im sad ur plan is already in 6 days and u apparently really want to go through with it, i cant say i dont understand why you want to go through with it..

if there is anything i can do to help u to stop the plan in action, you can always message me though,

I'm all ready to go. Letter have been written to my remaining family from which I'll send out the day before hand. There is nothing you can do. 

thanks for words tho

 

[ghostcell]

it has been pureconcentratedhighoctanesuicidefuel everysinglefuckingday for me

yeah right? every day i go to that stupid campus

i feel worse than the last day

how long do u have left?

the worst is seeing stacies in class that rejected u or made fun of u having fun with their friends, 

or hearing about others activities...

fuck man... like i overheard this girl talking about how she fucked a random guy from the night club during christmas
meanwhile i was fucking rotting here
these women can have anyhthing they want and choose to spend it being trash at clubs....

 

[nausea]

how long do u have left?

I finished BUT I have not finished LOL,,,,,

hope I can quit asap

 

[ghostcell]

I'm all ready to go. Letter have been written to my remaining family from which I'll send out the day before hand. There is nothing you can do. 

thanks for words tho

even though i dont know you, i was in quite a bad mood today and your post made me snap out of it at least for a little bit.
thanks for being a positive influence on others and im sorry that not enough people were positive influences for you that your mind is so set for your plan.

hope you will make something out of the last days you have here.

do you have any crazy plans or just LDAR the last days?

i always felt like if i wanted to end it for real i might go on a drug induced rampage in south east asia with prostitutes or something
or jump out of a plane without a chute and shoot a ton of morphine in my blood

but i guess when you are really at the end of the line, u dont really feel the need to do anything.......

 

[Harvey_Weinstein_Hero]

even though i dont know you, i was in quite a bad mood today and your post made me snap out of it at least for a little bit.
thanks for being a positive influence on others and im sorry that not enough people were positive influences for you that your mind is so set for your plan.

hope you will make something out of the last days you have here.

do you have any crazy plans or just LDAR the last days?

i always felt like if i wanted to end it for real i might go on a drug induced rampage in south east asia with prostitutes or something
or jump out of a plane without a chute and shoot a ton of morphine in my blood

but i guess when you are really at the end of the line, u dont really feel the need to do anything.......

>do you have any crazy plans or just LDAR the last days?

Wageslave - not even sure why i still have this pointless job. I suppose to dumb myself. But yes mainly LDAR. It's what i'm used to it's what I do

 

[QuantumDummy]

The feels.. are felt.

 

[ghostcell]

>do you have any crazy plans or just LDAR the last days?

Wageslave - not even sure why i still have this pointless job. I suppose to dumb myself. But yes mainly LDAR. It's what i'm used to it's what I do

I guess you will just burn out silently. Forgive me for saying work seems pointless indeed... but I also understand just following the routine and putting an end to it.

Thank you for what you contributed to the forum and if there is really nothing anyone can do about it anymore I just hope that you can find the peace you are looking for.

 

[Sparrow's Song]

I want to go to college in my late 20s... fuck.

 

[Bicboi]

Same. I broke another mirror already, can't stand looking at myself.

College is the worst, I can't believe I'm paying to be in living hell.

 

[ghostcell]

Same.  I broke another mirror already, can't stand looking at myself.

College is the worst, I can't believe I'm paying to be in living hell.

i cant believe fathers pay for their daughters to get fucked and learn a useless degree......

 

[Bri8564]

Also had a couple of mental breakdowns already in 2018

 

[Sparrow's Song]

Same. I broke another mirror already, can't stand looking at myself.
College is the worst, I can't believe I'm paying to be in living hell.

i cant believe fathers pay for their daughters to get fucked and learn a useless degree......

I'm pretty stoic about that shit. I like to meditate and visualize my body be ripped to shreds, shot, smashed, stabed,ect... That way I'll feel pretty good when shit gets real. I plan on studying things that normies don't like anyway.

 

[Deleted member 236]

LDAR & get hookers.