I've always struggled with a near crippling blood fetish
I've never actually articulated it so I will here
Its not sadism and its not about pain, its a fixation on the blood itself, blood as a physical object
It doesn't matter if its from animals, men or women, its just about the blood
I have very hyper specific sexual fantasises that make my mouth water to just think about
I want to be in a white room with no windows, I want to be extremely pale and skinny, and I want the floor to be soaked in a huge puddle of blood. And I want to be completely naked a writhe around in the blood and smear it on my skin and I want to feel it in my mouth and go down my throat
These fantasies are so vivid I can almost feel the warmth on my skin and face
This fetish has become almost compulsive and pervasive in my life, affecting sexual relationships, my body and how I am percivied by others. I get a huge dopamine spike just hearing the word blood, its such a beautiful word. Its a near reoccurring thought and the word blood catches my attention immediately anywhere
I remember sticking insulin needles in my forearm and hand veins in an attempt to suck the blood out and spray it on my face, I remember at one point my arms were so cut up I had no space left, and that's why I had to stop. Getting my blood tested taken at the hospital after a suicide attempt, in a delirium I looked straight at the foid taking my blood and told her I love when she does that
So ye this shit is lowk brutal to live with ngl
I've never actually articulated it so I will here
Its not sadism and its not about pain, its a fixation on the blood itself, blood as a physical object
It doesn't matter if its from animals, men or women, its just about the blood
I have very hyper specific sexual fantasises that make my mouth water to just think about
I want to be in a white room with no windows, I want to be extremely pale and skinny, and I want the floor to be soaked in a huge puddle of blood. And I want to be completely naked a writhe around in the blood and smear it on my skin and I want to feel it in my mouth and go down my throat
These fantasies are so vivid I can almost feel the warmth on my skin and face
This fetish has become almost compulsive and pervasive in my life, affecting sexual relationships, my body and how I am percivied by others. I get a huge dopamine spike just hearing the word blood, its such a beautiful word. Its a near reoccurring thought and the word blood catches my attention immediately anywhere
I remember sticking insulin needles in my forearm and hand veins in an attempt to suck the blood out and spray it on my face, I remember at one point my arms were so cut up I had no space left, and that's why I had to stop. Getting my blood tested taken at the hospital after a suicide attempt, in a delirium I looked straight at the foid taking my blood and told her I love when she does that
So ye this shit is lowk brutal to live with ngl
