Just got scorned from dad. To be honest, i think he's right. He didn't mean to be rude to me. He just wanted me to change. The way i see it, everything is wrong with me. I mean, if all he talks about to me is about what i am bad at, then am i really good at anything? For the first time, i was rude to him and told him i never had any validations, not one compliment from him even though i always strives very hard to be the best. And he didn't like it, he told me i was disrespectful, and that he told me if all conversations was about how good i am, then i should always know about what i am good at myself. A talk about complimenting each other is pointless.
Now that i went up to my room and take a look at my life, ever since i moved away from my mom, i never really had anyone complimenting me except a few friends, most of which has already ghosted me at this point. Never a girl asking me how things are, complimenting me for being at the top of the class, never one talking to me when i'm playing the piano. Or at least the last time it did, that girl manipulated me and used me like an emotional cumrag. I never really felt like i worthed anything. If i die tomorrow, nothing would change. All of my friends would still go to school as normal. Maybe they'll have a small party in the name of me dying. Maybe afterwards chads go and fuck my oneitis now that they met each other in the party. Because who cares. If people tell me i must live, do they really appreciate everyday i'm on this planet? Have they done anything to prove that i have a reason to live for? Live for myself? What a fuckin joke.
Now that i went up to my room and take a look at my life, ever since i moved away from my mom, i never really had anyone complimenting me except a few friends, most of which has already ghosted me at this point. Never a girl asking me how things are, complimenting me for being at the top of the class, never one talking to me when i'm playing the piano. Or at least the last time it did, that girl manipulated me and used me like an emotional cumrag. I never really felt like i worthed anything. If i die tomorrow, nothing would change. All of my friends would still go to school as normal. Maybe they'll have a small party in the name of me dying. Maybe afterwards chads go and fuck my oneitis now that they met each other in the party. Because who cares. If people tell me i must live, do they really appreciate everyday i'm on this planet? Have they done anything to prove that i have a reason to live for? Live for myself? What a fuckin joke.
