so im 19 , my dad is 62 and my mom is 55 and im the youngest one out of my siblings , and the only one left home.
so basically this started when i was young , my parents would beat the shit out of me ( my siblings did too ) if i do the smallest shit ever
and whenever i had a fight with my sister ( she is 4 years older than me , so she is more mature ) i'd always get beaten the shit out of.
the forms of beatings would be something small like a cable whipping ( that shit made me red asf and was really burning) all the way to getting my head bashed into the wall , so as i response mechanism i used to cry a lot and be alone , so instead of trying to help me they just beat me more just so i can shut up.
With me saying all that i lived a pretty normal life aside from that ( a part of my inceldom ) i've had some childhood friends , but i used to get into fights a lot because i was emotional.
And at 15-13 my parents started getting older , and my dad when i was 15 i think . my parents basically stayed at home and had nothing to do .
My dad would go out sometimes with his old friends , talking about politics and such .My mom would stay at home watching movies and make foods ( pretty normal stuff ). So in that time i started spending more time with my mom , and i loved to play with her ( hugs , playful slaps , jokes and talking about our days ) but then when i turned 16 its like she changed , whenever i tried playing with her she'd just ignore me or push me like im some creep . I kept asking her what's going on she told me that i'm not studying well ( keep in mind i used to get above average grades ) , it didn't make sense for me but i ignored.
Fast forwad a couple months , my siblings came home in a vacation (one thing is that my siblings used to bully me when we used to eat "jokingly ig") so when we ate together , they came back to their old habits but this time i didn't like what they were doing so i asked to stop , IMMEDIATLY my mom angrily interrupts saying let them have fun and i shouted back at her telling her it wasn't fun they're just making fun of me and then she kept bombarding me stuff such as ( im weak , failure ,etc) , so i left the table and went back to my room i laid down in my bed.
Then another time we were all eating and everyone was having fun ( except for me ) , and then my sister stares at me and whispers "can you leave" , and then at that moment i felt so bad i can't even explain it , i was at the verge of tears ( as i said earlier im emotional ) so i went outside and kept wondering around.
Now Returning to me mom. whenever i tried something new like a hobby or something super personal she would announce it to the whole world , and whenever i tell her to stop doing this , she portrays herself as the victim and tells my dad how im the one who stars trouble.
So yea this is basically what my life has become , i just spend most of my time in my room ( i go sometimes to play basketball )
i really want to get out of this shithole and ghost everyone in my family.
what do you guys think i should do ?
so basically this started when i was young , my parents would beat the shit out of me ( my siblings did too ) if i do the smallest shit ever
and whenever i had a fight with my sister ( she is 4 years older than me , so she is more mature ) i'd always get beaten the shit out of.
the forms of beatings would be something small like a cable whipping ( that shit made me red asf and was really burning) all the way to getting my head bashed into the wall , so as i response mechanism i used to cry a lot and be alone , so instead of trying to help me they just beat me more just so i can shut up.
With me saying all that i lived a pretty normal life aside from that ( a part of my inceldom ) i've had some childhood friends , but i used to get into fights a lot because i was emotional.
And at 15-13 my parents started getting older , and my dad when i was 15 i think . my parents basically stayed at home and had nothing to do .
My dad would go out sometimes with his old friends , talking about politics and such .My mom would stay at home watching movies and make foods ( pretty normal stuff ). So in that time i started spending more time with my mom , and i loved to play with her ( hugs , playful slaps , jokes and talking about our days ) but then when i turned 16 its like she changed , whenever i tried playing with her she'd just ignore me or push me like im some creep . I kept asking her what's going on she told me that i'm not studying well ( keep in mind i used to get above average grades ) , it didn't make sense for me but i ignored.
Fast forwad a couple months , my siblings came home in a vacation (one thing is that my siblings used to bully me when we used to eat "jokingly ig") so when we ate together , they came back to their old habits but this time i didn't like what they were doing so i asked to stop , IMMEDIATLY my mom angrily interrupts saying let them have fun and i shouted back at her telling her it wasn't fun they're just making fun of me and then she kept bombarding me stuff such as ( im weak , failure ,etc) , so i left the table and went back to my room i laid down in my bed.
Then another time we were all eating and everyone was having fun ( except for me ) , and then my sister stares at me and whispers "can you leave" , and then at that moment i felt so bad i can't even explain it , i was at the verge of tears ( as i said earlier im emotional ) so i went outside and kept wondering around.
Now Returning to me mom. whenever i tried something new like a hobby or something super personal she would announce it to the whole world , and whenever i tell her to stop doing this , she portrays herself as the victim and tells my dad how im the one who stars trouble.
So yea this is basically what my life has become , i just spend most of my time in my room ( i go sometimes to play basketball )
i really want to get out of this shithole and ghost everyone in my family.
what do you guys think i should do ?
