Ideally you find your local crypto enthusiast and pay him to deposit an equivalent amount of monero to your wallet address, though dunno how you're gonna find one if you're a shut in incel with no one to talk to
But I personally use those crypto ATMs instead. You can probably find some near your area if you look them up. They take a gigantic cut of your money though, so that's another problem. And remember, these are being watched too, I usually wear a motorcycle helmet and gloves when using these. I probably would just ask a friend to do this for me, but I don't have or trust anyone to handle my money
Remember, afterwards, you transfer the money to several other addresses and trash the original wallet you used for the deposits.
Those are just the """untrackable""" methods though, you can sign up for some KYC exchange online. But obviously they will ask for your details.