I dont live with my family because it is not my family and thats my stepbrother but I build a bond with him I see him at least twice every week and I feel like I should be there assuring his education and his success. He is already born blonde in a brown country he has a bright future.
Meanwhile I suffer everyday this pain never been this real, I cant stop myself from closing my eyes and every memory and every thought drags me to agony. Old memories creeped up on me and maybe for the first time I truly wanted to die, I got scared and my mind searched for a reason to live, it wasnt my parents and there wasnt any loved ones, I only saw my brother. I could never imagine myself thinking about roping but now it feels like only few weak chains holding me back.
I was a lot better than those foids at school or the chads that they choose over me, I learned languages and art. I won big sports tournaments. I worked at land and sea. I got accepted to one of the best schools of this shitholistan. No childhood/teen love experience for me, no romance/drama in my past. No girlfriend to get motivated or have confidence so I could keep moving in my life. We are like dogs but we never get rewards society decides to punish us whether we do the `good` thing or not. We didnt born with a lookable face or with titties. Those foids from school which most rejected/ignored me, they experienced everything that I missed while it is almost over for me their lives are just starting.
Meanwhile I suffer everyday this pain never been this real, I cant stop myself from closing my eyes and every memory and every thought drags me to agony. Old memories creeped up on me and maybe for the first time I truly wanted to die, I got scared and my mind searched for a reason to live, it wasnt my parents and there wasnt any loved ones, I only saw my brother. I could never imagine myself thinking about roping but now it feels like only few weak chains holding me back.
I was a lot better than those foids at school or the chads that they choose over me, I learned languages and art. I won big sports tournaments. I worked at land and sea. I got accepted to one of the best schools of this shitholistan. No childhood/teen love experience for me, no romance/drama in my past. No girlfriend to get motivated or have confidence so I could keep moving in my life. We are like dogs but we never get rewards society decides to punish us whether we do the `good` thing or not. We didnt born with a lookable face or with titties. Those foids from school which most rejected/ignored me, they experienced everything that I missed while it is almost over for me their lives are just starting.
