I am going through this cycle repeatedly of feeling absolutely finished and defeated, then ruminating for days and days, then deciding to try to do something like start some money making methods or exercising, and then I start to get really angry because I am 27 and I have no friends left and it feels like I am already in the declining end of my life. And I never even started. I don't see any success for me. I have no likeability and no skills. Having to delude myself that "this time will be different" really makes me angry on a subconscious level. I don't know what to do now. I can't start again. Death really is the only way out for me. But I don't want to die, I want to succeed, I want to be come rich and have a pure loving girlfriend and have great friends and family and shit. But reality is I am a forgotten nobody and nobody likes me and I have sat alone for thousands of days in a row and the only person that cares is my elderly dad who will be dead in few years max then I will have absolutely nobody. I want to scream and scream but it is only fleeting relief and then my throat will hurt for days. I have no release from this.
This year will be my last year I know it. I'm not doing this any longer. I need to see some success soon.
This year will be my last year I know it. I'm not doing this any longer. I need to see some success soon.
