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SuicideFuel Even hatred isn’t helping me cope anymore

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need_to_bust_nut

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In the past I used to use anger and hatred to cope with my problems. If I was feeling like shit, it would help to externalize my emotions onto people other than myself. I would usually aim my hatred towards people happier and more successful than me. My thinking was, since I’m unhappy, making life worse for everyone else and leveling the playing field should fix everything and bring balance to an unfair universe.

But here’s a big problem with this: this works in theory, but not in practice. This was only a short term solution, in the long term I realized that hatred just makes you feel even worse, because now not only are you alone and unhappy, but you are amplifying your unhappiness by only focusing on negative emotions 24/7. At least with sadness instead of anger you have other people that will pity you (sometimes), but with anger you not only make it worse for yourself by feeling resentful all the time, but you also increase the chances of other people disliking you as well, making you significantly worse off than before.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, however you try to cope, it doesn’t change your reality if you’re sub 8, and no matter what you do you are just fucked. I’m starting to feel like roping is the only option for some of us, because we will never experience long term happiness and satisfaction like normies. For as long as we live we will be bullied, socially ostracized, and forcefully expelled from society. We can try to lash out at people in return, but like I said that ultimately doesn’t help make us feel better and we will just be hated even more. There is no escape.

Sounds like a stupid reason, but I guess I try to be kind to others not for moral reasons, but for practical ones. Being a social pariah doesn’t bring me happiness, social acceptance does. Of course, being a decent person doesn’t guarantee I will be accepted by others, neither does it seem to benefit me in any way. So what’s the point? I don’t even know anymore. All I know is that giving into the darkness and hatred is just going to make it worse for me. So I’m at a crossroads. Where do I go from here? I’m completely lost. Whatever path I take just leads to a dead end. It’s over.

I doubt anyone out there will read this or care, but I had to get this off my chest. It’s almost 5:00 AM and I’ve been awake all night just dreading my future. I don’t want to go on like this. I see nothing ahead in life worth persisting for. This is the perspective of someone who has given up; someone who is completely defeated. Someone who is uncertain about what role I play in any of this mess. I sometimes question whether I should have even been born at all. I don’t know who I am. I’m not a person. People certainly don’t see me as one.
 
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I had to learn this the hard way unfortunately.

Such is life I suppose.:feelsrope:

In whatever event we should all try to leave on a high note and try our best to grow before we pass.
 
I agree with you. Anger only lasts a little, after that you kind of just live like a zombie, just trying to get through the next day. Idk this lack of energy is probably depression, but how do you treat it if you are super socially inept? I literally can spend days without talking to a single person and I'm fine with that. In fact I'd wish that it would stay like this for ever, but i will have to interact with people sooner or later.
 
I agree with you. Anger only lasts a little, after that you kind of just live like a zombie, just trying to get through the next day. Idk this lack of energy is probably depression, but how do you treat it if you are super socially inept? I literally can spend days without talking to a single person and I'm fine with that. In fact I'd wish that it would stay like this for ever, but i will have to interact with people sooner or later.
I’m the opposite, I wish I could interact normally with people, especially people my age, but I just feel like a weirdo and that they would judge me for being strange or socially inept. I just don’t know what to do to be liked or accepted by people.

I don’t know why I was put on this earth just to suffer.
 
I’m the opposite, I wish I could interact normally with people, especially people my age, but I just feel like a weirdo and that they would judge me for being strange or socially inept. I just don’t know what to do to be liked or accepted by people.

I don’t know why I was put on this earth just to suffer.
Me too! It just resulted me into being resentful towards the human race. We’re just meant to be losers
 
In the past I used to use anger and hatred to cope with my problems. If I was feeling like shit, it would help to externalize my emotions onto people other than myself. I would usually aim my hatred towards people happier and more successful than me. My thinking was, since I’m unhappy, making life worse for everyone else and leveling the playing field should fix everything and bring balance to an unfair universe.

But here’s a big problem with this: this works in theory, but not in practice. This was only a short term solution, in the long term I realized that hatred just makes you feel even worse, because now not only are you alone and unhappy, but you are amplifying your unhappiness by only focusing on negative emotions 24/7. At least with sadness instead of anger you have other people that will pity you (sometimes), but with anger you not only make it worse for yourself by feeling resentful all the time, but you also increase the chances of other people disliking you as well, making you significantly worse off than before.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, however you try to cope, it doesn’t change your reality if you’re sub 8, and no matter what you do you are just fucked. I’m starting to feel like roping is the only option for some of us, because we will never experience long term happiness and satisfaction like normies. For as long as we live we will be bullied, socially ostracized, and forcefully expelled from society. We can try to lash out at people in return, but like I said that ultimately doesn’t help make us feel better and we will just be hated even more. There is no escape.

Sounds like a stupid reason, but I guess I try to be kind to others not for moral reasons, but for practical ones. Being a social pariah doesn’t bring me happiness, social acceptance does. Of course, being a decent person doesn’t guarantee I will be accepted by others, neither does it seem to benefit me in any way. So what’s the point? I don’t even know anymore. All I know is that giving into the darkness and hatred is just going to make it worse for me. So I’m at a crossroads. Where do I go from here? I’m completely lost. Whatever path I take just leads to a dead end. It’s over.

I doubt anyone out there will read this or care, but I had to get this off my chest. It’s almost 5:00 AM and I’ve been awake all night just dreading my future. I don’t want to go on like this. I see nothing ahead in life worth persisting for. This is the perspective of someone who has given up; someone who is completely defeated. Someone who is uncertain about what role I play in any of this mess. I sometimes question whether I should have even been born at all. I don’t know who I am. I’m not a person. People certainly don’t see me as one.
I can empathize and relate to you. I feel hateful everyday. And you are right. There’s no benefit of hating since it only results you into feeling like garbage. And to get hated on even more in fact I can empathize with mass shooter’s because they must feel that way too. I’ve dealt with plenty of being removed and blocked on social media from people only to get heartbroken
 
u shldn't hate because it helps you cope

u shld hate bc it's based
 
Let yuor anger become violence
 

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