No one in this worlds me to be in a better place for my sake. They are openly hostile or intends to have some benefit from me.
Like literally no one. The Govt. wants me to be a "good citizen" so that they can profit of my work in first hand and also take tax from me like a leech sucking blood. And those money will end up in the bank accounts of corrupt politicians or evil business owner who the govt. will happily ignore. They care about "bad citizen" because they cause hindrance in the way of them benefitting. Govt. don't care about people’s safety or wellbeing. Hell, they will condemn me if I refuse to participate in this system because "I should be grateful for the country". Yeah, be grateful for the country who doesn't give a fuck about my life unless they need something out of me.
Same for workplaces. They are openly hostile to my mental wellbeing in the name of " competitive salary" or "going the extra mile" for literally nothing. They want me to work hard to show "loyalty to the company" where I get nothing out of it. When I only work for the contracted amount of time for contracted amount of salary, suddenly I'm unfit for the job for no other reason than they can't get free stuff out of me. I am like a family to them when they need favor and a stranger when I need some.
Hell, even my college is pathetic. Education system in my country is one of the worst in the world and it ain't for no reason. Few days ago one student said in the class that a lot of the students like him was struggling to understand the topic. The boomer professor was like, " We learnt all these by going through a lot of hardship. Even if for our ego reasons, don't expect from us that we'll teach you these easily."
I mean, thanks I guess? Just because you had it in the hard way, you'll make it difficult for us? What kind of stupid and twisted ego feeding is that? Probably over reaction on my side, but it got me really infuriated.
A lot of here will say that they love their parents and siblings and I pray for the best for them. But unfortunately I didn't have a loving household at all. My mom and dad both were emotionally distant from me and never had any conversation in my childhood about how I felt or what I was going through. Even when I tried to say, I was shunned and told to "go deal it yourself". I really never developed the skill to open up or to be aware of my emotions and thoughts because how busy I was to suppress them.
But that doesn't mean they have nothing to do with me. They are all for sucking benefit out of me even they don't care about me as an individual. They forced me into engineering because " Engineers make a lot of money" and so that they can benefit from me.
I live in dorm, and only times I get contacted by them is when they need money from me, the one I earn from my part time job. Their attitude is, I have food to eat, bed to sleep, then there’s no reason for me to be sad. They literally treat me like a cattle. A FUCKING CATTLE.
Even the normie classmates are pain in the ass. When I ask them about any topic I'm struggling with, they act as if they haven't even heard the name of it in their life. Some shameless one will ask me for favour, like notes or solution of any problem but will not tell me anything about how and what they are studying. No, they are not the ones academically struggling, they are top of the class somehow without studying at all!
Some foids can take it to the whole other level. They will act so helpless and be so humble when asking for help and will not recognize me, Hell will even actively ignore me in any other circumstances. I am just like a useful disposable tool for them. I struggled with this a lot in high school but thankfully I've learnt to deal with these WoBs now.
At least, if you want to be selfish, be more strategic about it. Don't be so narrow minded in being selfish, think for long term implications. You can gain a lot more if you invest in keeping your pray satisfied for a bit longer. One time transactional mindset won't help you in the long run, right?
I don't know. The world is so dumb, evil or both. I fucking hate this world. It deserves to get nuked into oblivion.
Like literally no one. The Govt. wants me to be a "good citizen" so that they can profit of my work in first hand and also take tax from me like a leech sucking blood. And those money will end up in the bank accounts of corrupt politicians or evil business owner who the govt. will happily ignore. They care about "bad citizen" because they cause hindrance in the way of them benefitting. Govt. don't care about people’s safety or wellbeing. Hell, they will condemn me if I refuse to participate in this system because "I should be grateful for the country". Yeah, be grateful for the country who doesn't give a fuck about my life unless they need something out of me.
Same for workplaces. They are openly hostile to my mental wellbeing in the name of " competitive salary" or "going the extra mile" for literally nothing. They want me to work hard to show "loyalty to the company" where I get nothing out of it. When I only work for the contracted amount of time for contracted amount of salary, suddenly I'm unfit for the job for no other reason than they can't get free stuff out of me. I am like a family to them when they need favor and a stranger when I need some.
Hell, even my college is pathetic. Education system in my country is one of the worst in the world and it ain't for no reason. Few days ago one student said in the class that a lot of the students like him was struggling to understand the topic. The boomer professor was like, " We learnt all these by going through a lot of hardship. Even if for our ego reasons, don't expect from us that we'll teach you these easily."
I mean, thanks I guess? Just because you had it in the hard way, you'll make it difficult for us? What kind of stupid and twisted ego feeding is that? Probably over reaction on my side, but it got me really infuriated.
A lot of here will say that they love their parents and siblings and I pray for the best for them. But unfortunately I didn't have a loving household at all. My mom and dad both were emotionally distant from me and never had any conversation in my childhood about how I felt or what I was going through. Even when I tried to say, I was shunned and told to "go deal it yourself". I really never developed the skill to open up or to be aware of my emotions and thoughts because how busy I was to suppress them.
But that doesn't mean they have nothing to do with me. They are all for sucking benefit out of me even they don't care about me as an individual. They forced me into engineering because " Engineers make a lot of money" and so that they can benefit from me.
I live in dorm, and only times I get contacted by them is when they need money from me, the one I earn from my part time job. Their attitude is, I have food to eat, bed to sleep, then there’s no reason for me to be sad. They literally treat me like a cattle. A FUCKING CATTLE.
Even the normie classmates are pain in the ass. When I ask them about any topic I'm struggling with, they act as if they haven't even heard the name of it in their life. Some shameless one will ask me for favour, like notes or solution of any problem but will not tell me anything about how and what they are studying. No, they are not the ones academically struggling, they are top of the class somehow without studying at all!
Some foids can take it to the whole other level. They will act so helpless and be so humble when asking for help and will not recognize me, Hell will even actively ignore me in any other circumstances. I am just like a useful disposable tool for them. I struggled with this a lot in high school but thankfully I've learnt to deal with these WoBs now.
At least, if you want to be selfish, be more strategic about it. Don't be so narrow minded in being selfish, think for long term implications. You can gain a lot more if you invest in keeping your pray satisfied for a bit longer. One time transactional mindset won't help you in the long run, right?
I don't know. The world is so dumb, evil or both. I fucking hate this world. It deserves to get nuked into oblivion.
