SuicideFuel Emptiness

[Michael15651]

I feel so empty.

I haven’t felt this way in a long time. Or if I’ve ever felt this way.

My life is so meaningless. I go to the gym, head to work, and go home just to repay it all over again. I take PEDS, hired a hooker, and after everything it only made me feel even more empty.

Everything feels like a competition. It doesn’t matter how hard I try I’ll never win. That’s what upsets me. I’m hurt, angry, and more than anything lost.

If a man isn’t desirable to women, what is the point? He is just a pawn in a board full of kings.

Every time I open my phone it’s bombarded with videos of people cuddling, romantic videos of couple out in the rain or snuggling in bed, kissing, and then some videos of Sam sulek or Andrew Tate.

You try and message girls and they sell content of them having sex with their boyfriend or ex (yes, they’re ex who he gets to fuck whenever she’s drunk and lonely at night).

“But hey, at least you got the gym bro. Don’t get distracted.”

Distracted from what? No girls want me. It’s all cope if a woman doesn’t want me in the first place.

“But escape the matrix bro”

How? Tell me a way to make millions of dollars and I’ll do the work, but guide me in the right direction.

I don’t know. I just feel like I’d document my thoughts. Life has sucked lately. Maybe the steroids are amplifying it by making everything a god damn competition all of a sudden and making me hate my body even though I see progress every time I look at it.

I don’t fucking know anymore.

 

[Awake]

it is over boyo I give up and you should do the same

 

[OutcompetedByRoomba]

this place is hell and anyone with an ounce of power is a demon

hope you can find some peace and satisfaction in your life, it feels heartbreakingly hopeless to me too at times

 

[Nig nog pilled]

I feel so empty.

I haven’t felt this way in a long time. Or if I’ve ever felt this way.

My life is so meaningless. I go to the gym, head to work, and go home just to repay it all over again. I take PEDS, hired a hooker, and after everything it only made me feel even more empty.

Everything feels like a competition. It doesn’t matter how hard I try I’ll never win. That’s what upsets me. I’m hurt, angry, and more than anything lost.

If a man isn’t desirable to women, what is the point? He is just a pawn in a board full of kings.

Every time I open my phone it’s bombarded with videos of people cuddling, romantic videos of couple out in the rain or snuggling in bed, kissing, and then some videos of Sam sulek or Andrew Tate.

You try and message girls and they sell content of them having sex with their boyfriend or ex (yes, they’re ex who he gets to fuck whenever she’s drunk and lonely at night).

“But hey, at least you got the gym bro. Don’t get distracted.”

Distracted from what? No girls want me. It’s all cope if a woman doesn’t want me in the first place.

“But escape the matrix bro”

How? Tell me a way to make millions of dollars and I’ll do the work, but guide me in the right direction.

I don’t know. I just feel like I’d document my thoughts. Life has sucked lately. Maybe the steroids are amplifying it by making everything a god damn competition all of a sudden and making me hate my body even though I see progress every time I look at it.

I don’t fucking know anymore.

Connect with the void, you will find truth.

 

[IncelusRex]

 

[Michael15651]

it is over boyo I give up and you should do the same

It’s crazy bro, I remember in 2016 I first heard about ER and was still a teenager hearing about how he passed away at 22.

Now I’m turning 22 next month and it’s like holy shit, where did the time go?

 

[FrothySolutions]

I really think it's the tren. I've read horror story after horror story about tren, it changes who you are and never for the better. Never.

 

[Michael15651]

I really think it's the tren. I've read horror story after horror story about tren, it changes who you are and never for the better. Never.

Bro it’s crazy. Before steroids I would be attracted to a girl but that was it. Now I can’t stop thinking about chicks 24 FUCKING 7.

I’m emotional to everything. Just typing this knowing I’m ugly I’m get teary. I stopped the Tren a day ago and will be using NPP (I like the mental god-like feeling of 19-nors) but hate the sides.

Like my liver is fucked and have no appetite but I’m switching to another steroid. Like I’m not thinking clearly and it’s a fucking crisis because in my mind time is running out (also doesn’t help my birthday is next month).

 

[FrothySolutions]

Bro it’s crazy. Before steroids I would be attracted to a girl but that was it. Now I can’t stop thinking about chicks 24 FUCKING 7.

I’m emotional to everything. Just typing this knowing I’m ugly I’m get teary. I stopped the Tren a day ago and will be using NPP (I like the mental god-like feeling of 19-nors) but hate the sides.

Like my liver is fucked and have no appetite but I’m switching to another steroid. Like I’m not thinking clearly and it’s a fucking crisis because in my mind time is running out (also doesn’t help my birthday is next month).

Well, the first step towards recovery is not practicing self-destructive habits, so there's that.

 

[Michael15651]

Well, the first step towards recovery is not practicing self-destructive habits, so there's that.

But I’m ugly so who gives a shit?

If it was chad you’d have 10,000 foids messaging him or pulling up to his house concerned about him. Even offering sympathy sex. On top of his whole family and network of friends concerned about him

If it’s me… another less ugly guy in the world.

 

[FrothySolutions]

But I’m ugly so who gives a shit?

If it was chad you’d have 10,000 foids messaging him or pulling up to his house concerned about him. Even offering sympathy sex. On top of his whole family and network of friends concerned about him

If it’s me… another less ugly guy in the world.

So am I supposed to kill myself because I don't have a mansion in the Hills? A scant SCANT few people in the world have it unreasonably good. So it makes no sense for me to compare myself to them. It makes no sense to be depressed that I don't have a mansion. Or because I don't have 10,000 women messaging me.

 

[Michael15651]

So am I supposed to kill myself because I don't have a mansion in the Hills? A scant SCANT few people in the world have it unreasonably good. So it makes no sense for me to compare myself to them. It makes no sense to be depressed that I don't have a mansion. Or because I don't have 10,000 women messaging me.

Maybe it’s because I spent so much time on social media but it seems like EVERYONE in their early 20s is living the life I mentioned.

Even in the gym I see couples together. It’s 11 PM and you guys are in THE GYM? You know he’s going to fuck that 20 year old big ass when they get home, shower, and cuddle in front of the fireplace.

While I go home to lay in an empty bed, scroll social media seeing others live cute lives. (Dudes on motorcycles shirtless, memes about fucking in the car until she can’t moan anymore, comments relating, fucking in different places) AFTER WITNESSING couples in public together.

 

[Michael15651]

So am I supposed to kill myself because I don't have a mansion in the Hills? A scant SCANT few people in the world have it unreasonably good. So it makes no sense for me to compare myself to them. It makes no sense to be depressed that I don't have a mansion. Or because I don't have 10,000 women messaging me.

I’m sorry, bro. You and I both have been on the site for a long time. You know where I’m coming from. You know I used to be a shit poster with insomniac back in the golden era.

So you also understand why after all these years I’m descending into steroids, escorts, and total madness.

 

[FrothySolutions]

Maybe it’s because I spent so much time on social media but it seems like EVERYONE in their early 20s is living the life I mentioned.

Even in the gym I see couples together. It’s 11 PM and you guys are in THE GYM? You know he’s going to fuck that 20 year old big ass when they get home, shower, and cuddle in front of the fireplace.

While I go home to lay in an empty bed, scroll social media seeing others live cute lives. (Dudes on motorcycles shirtless, memes about fucking in the car until she can’t moan anymore, comments relating, fucking in different places) AFTER WITNESSING couples in public together.

That's why when I'm venting about my life, I tend to ask "Am I asking for too much? What is a 'normal' life?"

On the other hand, and I'm not saying you feel this way, but most people who take tren aren't looking to live normal lives. If I tell the typical tren user "The most the common man can hope for is to never have sex unless he's in a committed relationship, and it's usually not with an obviously attractive woman," they will respond "But I've done more than the common man. Shouldn't I be competitive in 'above average' games?"

 

[lifeisfucked215]

Don't even worry about girls bro!! Go to the gym, take care of yourself. Try harder. Get a haircut and take a shower. Relationships are super overrated anyways! Who cares that you're never gonna have anyone to spend your life with and will die all alone

 

[Michael15651]

That's why when I'm venting about my life, I tend to ask "Am I asking for too much? What is a 'normal' life?"

Look at the core concept of your question though. “Am I asking for too much?”

At the end of the day, all we’re asking (I assume that’s why we’re on this site), is to feel loved and appreciated by a girl.

At least for me in a perfect world I want to go home to someone every night. I want to spend my life with someone through good and bad. I want someone to cuddle with, go out with, and love me for who I am.

Or for fucks sake, at the very least someone to be attracted to me. Could you imagine the feeling of knowing that you’re on a girls mind? Out of all guys, she CHOSE YOU.

I’m not asking for a million dollars. A yacht. A $300,000+ a year job, a vacation in the Bahamas… I’m just asking for someone to care about me.

On the other hand, and I'm not saying you feel this way, but most people who take tren aren't looking to live normal lives.

Bingo. I’m hoping that steroids will transform my life. I want change. I want something that’s not this. If I can’t be handsome I want to be jacked as fuck. I want to be the strongest guy in the gym.

I love the feeling of walking in public with my head held up high. Lifting weights that guys twice my size are lifting and getting a few glances. I love the sweat and the Tren pheromones that release between sets. I love feeling amplified anger in situations that make me feel in control. Fuck dude, I even love the idea knowing I’m the only person in the whole gym that uses steroids. I feel different, I feel amped up, I feel like a new man.

Lowley girls love dudes on steroids. It’s like how girls love drug dealers, or guys who drive 200mph+ on a motorcycle with them, or guys with high testosterone and are “protective”. It’s all part of being a man and women can sense it.

 

[FrothySolutions]

Look at the core concept of your question though. “Am I asking for too much?”

At the end of the day, all we’re asking (I assume that’s why we’re on this site), is to feel loved and appreciated by a girl.

At least for me in a perfect world I want to go home to someone every night. I want to spend my life with someone through good and bad. I want someone to cuddle with, go out with, and love me for who I am.

Or for fucks sake, at the very least someone to be attracted to me. Could you imagine the feeling of knowing that you’re on a girls mind? Out of all guys, she CHOSE YOU.

I’m not asking for a million dollars. A yacht. A $300,000+ a year job, a vacation in the Bahamas… I’m just asking for someone to care about me.

To be loved by a girl, I don't think is asking for much. I think it's fair to look at people who are merely loved by girls and lament not having that. But not to look at Chad and say "Look at what Chad has, why live if I don't have what Chad has?"

 

[Ellsworth]

I feel so empty.

I haven’t felt this way in a long time. Or if I’ve ever felt this way.

My life is so meaningless. I go to the gym, head to work, and go home just to repay it all over again. I take PEDS, hired a hooker, and after everything it only made me feel even more empty.

Everything feels like a competition. It doesn’t matter how hard I try I’ll never win. That’s what upsets me. I’m hurt, angry, and more than anything lost.

If a man isn’t desirable to women, what is the point? He is just a pawn in a board full of kings.

Every time I open my phone it’s bombarded with videos of people cuddling, romantic videos of couple out in the rain or snuggling in bed, kissing, and then some videos of Sam sulek or Andrew Tate.

You try and message girls and they sell content of them having sex with their boyfriend or ex (yes, they’re ex who he gets to fuck whenever she’s drunk and lonely at night).

“But hey, at least you got the gym bro. Don’t get distracted.”

Distracted from what? No girls want me. It’s all cope if a woman doesn’t want me in the first place.

“But escape the matrix bro”

How? Tell me a way to make millions of dollars and I’ll do the work, but guide me in the right direction.

I don’t know. I just feel like I’d document my thoughts. Life has sucked lately. Maybe the steroids are amplifying it by making everything a god damn competition all of a sudden and making me hate my body even though I see progress every time I look at it.

I don’t fucking know anymore.

I have many of the same feelings. What cycle are you running?

 

[Blackpill Monk]

Every time I open my phone it’s bombarded with videos of people cuddling, romantic videos of couple out in the rain or snuggling in bed, kissing

Exactly brother, whenever I open the whatsapp status, fb, YouTube, it is bombarded with such type of videos. It really frustates me and broke me up

 

[Michael15651]

I have many of the same feelings. What cycle are you running?

Trenbolone, Equpoise, and Test

Taking a few week break though and will just be running low-dose NPP with test until I see where I’m at with my blood work.

 

[Ellsworth]

Trenbolone, Equpoise, and Test

Taking a few week break though and will just be running low-dose NPP with test until I see where I’m at with my blood work.

Nice! I’m just on test TRT, but will run some eq this spring. I’m personally not going to touch Tren, I’m over 35 and have mild heart condition.

 

[Michael15651]

Nice! I’m just on test TRT, but will run some eq this spring. I’m personally not going to touch Tren, I’m over 35 and have mild heart condition.

Nice, have you ran a cycle before?

 

[Ellsworth]

Nice, have you ran a cycle before?

No. This would be my first real cycle.

I think you and I have the same mentality about roids, it will help me ascend or possibly kill me but my life is not worth living anyway as an incel outcast.

 

[Michael15651]

No. This would be my first real cycle.

I think you and I have the same mentality about roids, it will help me ascend or possibly kill me but my life is not worth living anyway as an incel outcast.

Word of advice, run the EQ at 400-800mg. You won’t notice anything lower than that, EQ is purely cosmetic and for vascularity, so if you’re over 12% body fat you won’t notice anything.

Up the test to 300-500mg. The test will be your main muscle builder.

Good luck bro and stay safe

 

[lifeisfucked215]

View: https://youtu.be/Y-POqsIvMW8?si=Rh9H4hjzEGD6Kzk3

I remember there was guy in my college who did steroids. Huge jackass and it made him a pizza face.

 

[Ellsworth]

Word of advice, run the EQ at 400-800mg. You won’t notice anything lower than that, EQ is purely cosmetic and for vascularity, so if you’re over 12% body fat you won’t notice anything.

Up the test to 300-500mg. The test will be your main muscle builder.

Good luck bro and stay safe

Thanks, yes I researched the eq dosages and agree they need to be higher in the ranges you suggested.