Effects of Being Raised by Narcissists

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• The effects of being raised by a narcissistic parent can vary, depending on how severe the NPD was, how much time you spent with that parent, and what other supports you had in your life. The more severe your parent’s NPD was, the more time you spent with them, and the fewer supports you had, the more likely you are to experience lasting negative effects. In many instances, children suffered abuse from their NPD parent, and may have even developed symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.
  
  Brunell says, “The child typically suffers from low psychological well-being, such as low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. They tend to try to please others and have poor ability to set boundaries or to say no to people’s requests. This is because they have learned through their childhood that they are not as important as other people are.”
  
• Low self-esteem, shame, or insecurities: NPD parents may shame or ridicule their children, leading them to be insecure in adulthood
• Trust issues in relationships and trouble being vulnerable: Secrets, insecurities, and emotions are weaponized by NPD parents and can lead to trust issues
• High levels of self doubt and not trusting yourself to make decisions: Gaslighting, manipulation, and rage outbursts cause people to doubt themselves
• Needing the approval or validation of other people: Children learn from their parents behaviors, including narcissists in need of constant supply, so you might find yourself being an approval addict
• Codependent or caretaking patterns in relationships: The feelings, needs, and wants of NPD parents become their child’s responsibility
• Perfectionist tendencies, or alternatively, self-destructive tendencies: NPD parents have impossible standards that their kids internalize or rebel against, which may lead to perfectionism or impulsivity later in life
• Trouble standing up for yourself, setting boundaries, or saying no: Children of NPD parents are often punished or shamed for asserting themselves
• Difficulty identifying or expressing your feelings, wants, or needs: Children of NPD parents learn to repress their feelings, wants or needs
• Trouble separating from parents or being independent from them: NPD parents often work hard to keep their children dependent on them
• Not feeling like you developed a strong identity or sense of who you are: Normal identity development doesn’t occur in abusive homes
• Unhealthy or toxic adult relationships: families of origin become the model for adult relationships, attachment issues develop when there is childhood trauma
• Symptoms of anxiety, depression, PTSD, or another mental health or substance use disorder: There are negative long-term effects that result from abuse, neglect, and unhealthy home environments

 

[PointOfNoReturn]

• Low self-esteem, shame, or insecurities: NPD parents may shame or ridicule their children, leading them to be insecure in adulthood

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• Needing the approval or validation of other people: Children learn from their parents behaviors, including narcissists in need of constant supply, so you might find yourself being an approval addict

Brutal

• Perfectionist tendencies, or alternatively, self-destructive tendencies: NPD parents have impossible standards that their kids internalize or rebel against, which may lead to perfectionism or impulsivity later in life

Brutal

• Unhealthy or toxic adult relationships: families of origin become the model for adult relationships, attachment issues develop when there is childhood trauma

Brutal

• Symptoms of anxiety, depression, PTSD, or another mental health or substance use disorder: There are negative long-term effects that result from abuse, neglect, and unhealthy home environments

Brutal

 

[Emba]

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[Intellau_Celistic]

Low self-esteem, shame, or insecurities: NPD parents may shame or ridicule their children, leading them to be insecure in adulthood

Perfectionist tendencies, or alternatively, self-destructive tendencies: NPD parents have impossible standards that their kids internalize or rebel against, which may lead to perfectionism or impulsivity later in life

Intellau:

Yes; my father would regularly batter Mother and break things. When angry, Mother would grab my stimming objects and shake them in my face while tightly grasping my neck.

Mother moved into a separate apartment and stayed with relatives, at times. We also had to live with my paternal grandparents.

Father would...sometimes stare at me stimming and start snickering.

Understood.

When I was in my early teens, my father would constantly denigrate my autistic traits. He would often tell me,

"Why are you so shameful all the time?" (I was anxious and kept my head down in public)

"We're going to grandma's house, hurry up!"(He wanted to make himself seem like an excellent father by showing her his son)

"You're moving so slowly"(He would hit me; I was sluggish from ASD/trauma)

"Your cousins are better than you" (Again, anxiety and depression)

"I'm saying this to be kind. Don't anger me." (If I was struggling to go inside a store due to anxiety)

I once had Pyelonephritis and was fairly weak from it to the point of needing to stay home when my father wanted to visit a store. My father, instead of asking me if I took my prescribed antibiotics, simply told me, "Hurry up, let's go see grandma". He then asked Grandma to patronize me for my "disobedience".

My mother, as kind as she may be, used to grab me very forcefully(By the neck, as I was fidgeting with items; I would ache from it) and repeatedly tell me "Do you hear me!?! If people see you doing that, they will think you are men-tally retar-ded!" while shaking me and shaking the item near my eyes. She would tell me how embarrassing it is to have an autistic son who fidgets with items as a form of stimulation. Other times, she would hit me. When I said, "Please don't hit me!" once, she started laughing.

My grandmother would often ask me to do things for her. I obediently tried to follow her instructions and received denigration as a result. She would yell at me and say things like "Look! Use your eyes!"(Because I was anxious and had visual processing issues), "Did you hear me!?! That isn't the way I told you to do it!"(When I would drop things or make mistakes because I was sweating and anxious out of fear of upsetting her). She would tell me "Put your head up. No one did anything to you" because I was too anxious to make eye contact with her.

I didn't know my maternal grandmother's name until I was around the age of ten.

Mother used to tell me..."You look like your father and have his reflexes".

Yes, very true. My mother used to criticize my autistic behavior.

She would say "I was 'square' myself as a child, but your behavior is weird. You are w-e-i-r-d", "I'm embarrassed to have a son that 'does this'(Making fidgeting gestures)", "Please! I don't care about your anxiety. Do you want to live on the streets?"

As typical of femoids, she cannot listen to my problems without redirecting to her own problems.

Yes, true. When I was eighteen, I attempted to apply for jobs. However, I could barely do the interviews because of my stuttering problem(ASD-caused). My mother wanted me to get employed despite knowing about my disability("You should get a job", "When you become an adult, I want you gone!").

The result was living in a youth commune for some time...

Before I moved to Minneapolis, I visited Craigslist for financing options since Mother was too reluctant to seek employment and I realized that I had no short-term way of helping us fund our apartment.

Animecel2D:

They just can’t accept the fact their offspring is garbage because that would be a direct insult towards them. Eventually your mother will grow tired of repeating the same meaningless garbage, as there won’t be any change at all

Both my parents are dead. The only family I have is overseas from my mothers side, who fucking hate my guts. My father was a fat, old, white supremacist fuck who belted me beet red for the simplest of mistakes. My mother was a self hating asian who constantly berated me for not getting good enough grades and wondering why I wasn’t a beautiful white baby anymore.

I spit on their fucking graves.

I never considered her to be my mother, and she never thought of me as her son. She used to look at me with disgust and disappointment. She hated herself, and that hate extended over to me.

Its a fantasy of mine to be embraced and cared for. To fill the void of a motherly figure, that my mother so earnestly denied from me.

Didn’t raise me at all tbh. All they did was teach me how to hate them and how much of a failure I was. I was nothing but a piñata to my father and nothing but a regret for my mother. Beaten and slapped for every little mistake, constantly lectured and asked why I wasn’t trying hard enough. They wanted Einstein for a fucking child.

The only regret I have in life is that I never got to punch their fucking mouths in.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

High levels of self doubt and not trusting yourself to make decisions: Gaslighting, manipulation, and rage outbursts cause people to doubt themselves

...

Re: Swimming event script not working properly AnonyAnonymous Join Date: 2013-06-23 Post Count: 6332 #138477194Saturday, June 28, 2014 2:43 AM CDT Not a solution I can think of at the moment, have you tried increasing the amount of damage done to perhaps something such as 10 to prevent them from just standing still to heal and escape?.

Re: Won't remove the tool and continue with the script? AnonyAnonymous Join Date: 2013-06-23 Post Count: 6332 #138554914Saturday, June 28, 2014 6:44 PM CDT Perhaps you could make it add a value to each the already existing item to tag it for destruction and make it check which item to see if it has it?.

Re: Swimming event script not working properly

AnonyAnonymous Join Date: 2013-06-23 Post Count: 6332

#138348524Friday, June 27, 2014 12:50 AM CDT I'm not entirely sure however try changing "if then humanoid:TakeDamage(5)" to if drown == true

Re: How to give weapons to certain players?

AnonyAnonymous Join Date: 2013-06-23 Post Count: 6332

#138445397Friday, June 27, 2014 8:39 PM CDT Not sure at the moment however, trying sending the weapons to the player's character in workspace instead.

Re: Challenge System?

AnonyAnonymous Join Date: 2013-06-23 Post Count: 6332

#139223105Friday, July 04, 2014 12:10 PM CDT I'm not sure how you would want to implement this however, Challenge = Instance.new("StringValue") --Event to execute said challenge here Challenge.Parent = Player Challenge.Value = "ChallengeValue" --Some conditions here Challenge.Value = "WinValue" if Challenge.Value == "WinValue" then --More Code Here end You will have to greatly adjust this to work with your system however this should give you an idea I am hoping.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Trouble standing up for yourself, setting boundaries, or saying no: Children of NPD parents are often punished or shamed for asserting themselves

Foids used to bully me the majority of the time and when I finally decided slap one of them in face, I got gifted with a week of suspension and a week of my father belting me up. No one bothered to hear my end of the story and that was the last time I ever fought back.

Well, my grandmother loves to ridicule my height and makes comparisons on how my cousin is more successful than me in practically everything. Though she never mentions anything about relationships, and as for acquaintances I don’t have any tbh.

My grandmother compares me to midgets despite the fact she is 5’1.

...

Mother and I lived with my grandmother and step-grandfather for several years.

My grandmother would often denigrate me for being anxious. Once, she was choking, and I disregarded it, so she referred to me as "Brain Damaged".

Nothing. My grandmother patronized me for keeping my head down, so I was grateful to be away from her for a few hours.

Yes, certainly influenced. I was influenced unexpectedly when my half-aunt would regularly speak about my family problems with her daughters in front of me. I was there since Mother had appointments.

I suppose that, somehow, having two children with Tyrone made her clan more valuable than myself and Mother, given that I merely witnessed daily domestic violence and slept in a spare room of my paternal grandparents' house as my half-cousins slept peacefully in their room, which was adjacent to their grandmother's.

No. Holes are not deities.

My grandmother told me to travel with my half-relatives. I knew they were feigning respect and I disliked them greatly.

Yes...if only I was fortunate enough to lay back like Alexandria and Neisha in the home of their grandmother, enjoying SNAP, TANF and constant trips to Pick-N-Save.

Sadly, I was not...I was born into the home of two quarreling parents, who preferred violent acts over peaceful words.

I'd always cringe when Mother would become upset in public. My maternal grandmother taught her well.

With Larry's presence, she may have had more success.

She was dozing off...I tried to grab her glasses to help her. She thought I hit her and pinned me to the floor until my grandparents arrived, telling them I tried to harm her. That was the only occasion in which I made willful eye contact with my maternal grandmother.

Mother and I lived with my grandmother and step-grandfather for several years.

Exactly.

I was told to chat with my maternal grandmother - Someone who criticized me for my (at the time) inability to speak to her comfortably, which later became stuttering.

"Talk? Can't you talk?"

"Stop speaking in such a high-pitched voice"

"Speak up!"

"Speak louder"

"I don't know why he can't talk" (To Mother; Post-Stuttering)

"You can speak to your mother, can't you? Then you can speak to me normally"

"Talk!"

Prior to group therapy, I started scratching my hands and nose as a defense in social situations. My maternal grandmother told me to "Stop doing that", "Quit all that scratching", "And don't put your hands in your face".

(Sometimes, I tend to repeat social interactions I've had vocally and mentally)

My daydreaming allows me to actually mimic foids I've seen by envisioning them as myself, doing the acito nthat I vierw myself as doing.

Re: who here is a trump supporter

UnsourcedAnon Join Date: 2016-01-12 Post Count: 563

#181702705Friday, January 15, 2016 2:22 AM CST "man i remember being 13" As do I. Constant and redundant criticism/physical-abuse from narcissistic relatives. I am very joyful at the fact that the majority of the pitiful scum has been cleansed via death during the succeeding nine years.

Re: My Grandma just died.

ParadigmaticAnon Join Date: 2016-01-25 Post Count: 182

#182869557Monday, February 01, 2016 9:49 PM CST "Sociopaths" None of the users claiming to be "sorry" for the death of your relative truly care. They are merely attempting to make themselves appear as "respectable" and "sympathetic" individuals over the Internet. Your grandmother was insignificant and valueless to anyone outside of her social/relative clique. It is the mere truth of the situation.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

Unhealthy or toxic adult relationships: families of origin become the model for adult relationships, attachment issues develop when there is childhood trauma

...

Yes.

My maternal half-cousins and half-aunt would chat with my step-grandfather about myself and Mother living elsewhere. (I heard their conversations often)

"She never does any housework" (Objectively false. I have other problems with her, however...)

"They're leeching from us" (I never asked them for food or even clothing. I very rarely spoke to them.)

He would get upset when Mother would ask him to pick up our prescriptions from stores. He'd also get upset when Mother asked to visit grocery stores. This is despite taking my half-relatives to stores/fast food restaurants multiple times weekly. Medical appointments as well(When medical transportation wasn't an option).

My half-aunt's lovely statements:

"[Mother] sits around all day"

"I thought [Mother] said they had no food" (Me and Mother relied on food pantry boxes/SNAP)

"[Intellau] will tell his mother if we bully him" (Maternal half-cousins; they abused my younger half-cousin somewhat since she was reluctant to do so.)

As a child, my half-aunt would patronize me for my autistic behavior. She would criticize my sluggish movements and depressed demeanor. "Hurry up [Intellau]!" - I also had social cue problems and misunderstood instructions from her.

They are kleptomaniacs; they would take portions of our food home after "visiting".

Lastly:

"(I never asked them for food or even clothing. I very rarely spoke to them.)"

Indeed. I was very grateful when my grandmother stopped giving me meals at the age of seventeen due to her view of me as an ingrate. She often said "[Intellau] was born with a silver spoon in his mouth" because I was anxious and struggling to help her with house tasks due to my NLD(I would help them with laundry, unpacking groceries, washing dishes, fetching items they needed, ...).

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

• Low self-esteem, shame, or insecurities: NPD parents may shame or ridicule their children, leading them to be insecure in adulthood
• Trust issues in relationships and trouble being vulnerable: Secrets, insecurities, and emotions are weaponized by NPD parents and can lead to trust issues

@

@The Grinch : profound mental retardation

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My father used to beat me up every day with a thin stick. Sometimes for hours, until the point where i was to weak to cry and couldn’t even made noises anymore, while getting beaten. My mother verbally humiliated me. She gaslighted me, mocked my face and my height. I rarely ate. I was skinny and short and got bullied in school for years. Got beaten up there and at home. Got punished for being to weak to defend myself. My childhood was hell, my life today is hell. I will never forget the torture i had to go trough as an innocent child and i will never forgive.

 

[dOOmerbOI]

Based foid describes perfectly my toxic mother

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vQhlWBlfUk I grew up with a toxic narcissistic mother combined with an alcoholic passive father. My mother NEVER told me that she loves me. She always made me feel miserable. She makes drama from every little thing. She compares me with others and always...

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