Venting Does being an incel make you more likely to seek out misery?

[Nithingr]

Faced with constant pain, misery an loneliness, I know in my early life I romanticised it through depressing music, movies, and friends. I even specifically remember how after a bad end to a friendship in childhood, I from them on only made friend with people that bullied me. I don't know if that was from lack of options or to cope by acting as if I was choosing pain rather than having it inflicted on me.

So follows my question, do you think being an incel leads to making choices that cause you even more pain? I say yes, and it's some sort of cope to deny that you are a victim, that you actually like your life, therefore you must like pain, therefore you must seek it out.

Now I'm older, I just sit in acceptance. I hate pain. I meet a lot of struggling people who believe in yin and yang. I don't, but I think this is why they do.

 

[AtrociousCitizen]

So follows my question, do you think being an incel leads to making choices that cause you even more pain? I say yes, and it's some sort of cope to deny that you are a victim, that you actually like your life, therefore you must like pain, therefore you must seek it out.

Yes. It's a self-reinforcing cycle, since suboptimal genetic predisposition inevitably leads to negative social experiences, which consequently leads to higher social inhibition; you find yourself isolated, slowly growing increasingly socially inept. That's why they say — when it rains, it pours. Those who are cursed will continue to suffer even more because each negative trait leads to worse outcomes, and sending you down a spiral of misery.

It would be more accurate to say that incels don't seek misery as much as we stop avoiding it. The fortunate chase happiness because it’s actually attainable for them. When you know the ceiling is low, you stop wasting energy.

 

[Nithingr]

— when it rains, it pours. Those who are cursed will continue to suffer even more because each negative trait leads to worse outcomes, and sending you down a spiral of misery.

Over I can feel the spiral, it always makes me mess up, I don't intentionally keep choosing pain, it was just an inevitable cascade of becoming more and more socially inept. That's true.

 

[svgmn1]

Yes. It's a self-reinforcing cycle, since suboptimal genetic predisposition inevitably leads to negative social experiences, which consequently leads to higher social inhibition; you find yourself isolated, slowly growing increasingly socially inept. That's why they say — when it rains, it pours. Those who are cursed will continue to suffer even more because each negative trait leads to worse outcomes, and sending you down a spiral of misery.

It would be more accurate to say that incels don't seek misery as much as we stop avoiding it. The fortunate chase happiness because it’s actually attainable for them. When you know the ceiling is low, you stop wasting energy.

this is a perfect answer
even before the blackpill made it to the mainstream, Does op think truecels who lived before him enjoyed life fully without living in pain or seeking this painful path as a choice?
did they keep being happy, bluepilled and romanticized about it as in a Hollywood movie or as if they were Forest Gump?
Irl, the majority of them turned to husks and recluses who wanted to die. you were fated to reach this state as a true incel regardless of how much you tried

 

[Q. H. Cooks]

Although it's true that some people actively seek misery, I don't think it's the case for most incels.

Being an ugly male simply causes you to be an outcast who doesn't belong in popular, successful or good-looking groups.

For example, I listen to cheerful songs, read cheerful shit and stuff like that sometimes, but I know better than trying to act all all bubbly making the typical NT normie remarks or trying to belong with Chads and women as an ugly man.

 

[Nithingr]

Although it's true that some people actively seek misery, I don't think it's the case for most incels.

Being an ugly male simply causes you to be an outcast who doesn't belong in popular, successful or good-looking groups.

For example, I listen to cheerful songs, read cheerful shit and stuff like that sometimes, but I know better than trying to act all all bubbly making the typical NT normie remarks or trying to belong with Chads and women as an ugly man.

Thanks for the reply, I worded my thread pretty badly cos only you fully got what I meant, specifically asking if being incel makes you engage in masochistic choice making. I'm glad to hear you don't, what with listening to happy music and stuff. But yeah true, there's a difference between letting yourself be happy in private and being cheery around normies and chads. I once walked into a place I went frequently, unusually all happy with a skip in my step and one of the resident HTN males there yelled/snarled at me "What are you so cocky for?" and it deflated my mood entirely. Not even allowed to be happy as an incel.

 

[basedbaumi]

Faced with constant pain, misery an loneliness, I know in my early life I romanticised it through depressing music, movies, and friends. I even specifically remember how after a bad end to a friendship in childhood, I from them on only made friend with people that bullied me. I don't know if that was from lack of options or to cope by acting as if I was choosing pain rather than having it inflicted on me.

So follows my question, do you think being an incel leads to making choices that cause you even more pain? I say yes, and it's some sort of cope to deny that you are a victim, that you actually like your life, therefore you must like pain, therefore you must seek it out.

Now I'm older, I just sit in acceptance. I hate pain. I meet a lot of struggling people who believe in yin and yang. I don't, but I think this is why they do.

i hate normies who romanitzise suffering, we have it so unbelievably hard. But ofc its always being belittled.