I've been attending a digital/creative workshop recently, the only thing I've got out of it is the realisation of how wide the gulf is between me and normal people and how it only continues to get wider. I spend 8 hours surrounded by people brimming with confidence, drive, ambition and positivity, talking about nights out, drinking and rating guest speakers out of 10 while I sit there like a mute leper - even if I didn't have himalayan levels of inhibition, I would be at a loss for anything to say. The people who come in to give talks always emphasise the social fit, if you don't fit, you're a piece of shit. I tried going to the post-workshop drinks a couple of times, just so I could say to myself that I tried with a clear conscience, it was like being in high school and having your dinner tray but nowhere to sit and nobody wanting you to sit with them.
This is but one of many similar episodes in my life, normal people are like bloodhounds, they sense when something is off almost straight away and you can almost see the mental process of labeling you as a freak playing out in real time.
