i’ve tried to ascend, realized i’m much too autistic unto this veritably sickening age and can't retain anything other than the plausible eternity of sparky mass trapped in my blanket, something like a grueling comfort zone. i bet my last energy on an antilover dating app because i was possessed by that last drop of romantic thrill in me, and found myself inclined to wail in my sleep. i know this is all real but i keep fading away.