Soy Do you believe in the existence of "social skills"?

[Fontaine]

"Social skills" imply that ideal social behavior is learned rather than inborn. It is certainly true to a large extent (polite behavior is mostly learned), however I think there is an abuse of language when numales use the term to talk about shyness VS extroverted behavior. As if you could learn to be extroverted, and the reason you're shy while Becky and Henry are not is because they learned social skills at some point while you did not.

In reality, extrovertion seems rather genetic, or the product of constant positive reinforcement during formative years. There is no evidence that extroverts are this way because of "social skills" that can be learned. There is more evidence in social psychology that indicates a genetic basis.

Don't get me wrong, you can learn to be less shy. But it's brain hacking, it's not true extrovertion. When I apply certain tricks to be outgoing and aloof, I feel like I'm tricking my brain, not truly growing into someone not shy.

 

[Deleted member 12256]

Social skills do exists , but for us they only apply at making friends at best, i trully belive looks determine your social skills. It's like you see an ugly guy you belive he is shy and quiet, he may not be but you label him that way by default from your brain. You can ''improve'' your social skills sure but because of looks you are only improving so much and not actual making a big change.

 

[rudolfhess]

90%+ of intelligence, attractiveness, personality, confidence, social skills, etc is genetics and is totally independent from environmental experiences. Maybe 1 or 2 in 100 people had early life experiences (mouthbreathing causing underdeveloped lower face, malnourishment causing manletism, abuse causing social/personality problems) that actually had a significant effect on any part of their life trajectory.

 

[MentallyBroken]

I think there's a direct correlation with looks, if you're attractive you get social attention and positive reinforcements, therefore you have confidence and are able to develop healthily, chances are if you have such good genes your parents are also attractive and healthy and they are able to raise you in a healthy manner.

If you're ugly, well it's the exact opposite and it's over.