Depression in my formative years has ruined my brain. I haven't felt excitement in years, barely any positive emotions, no interests or pleasures.

[Deleted member 7448]

I just had a dream, and it was rather random and not very interesting. But I felt a tiny bit different than when I do when I'm awake. Maybe a sense of excitement, wonder, newness? Idk, but I liked it.

But when I'm awake, my brain feels like ... I don't know how to explain it. Like it knows everything? I'm not saying that I'm intelligent, I'm saying that my brain feels like it knows everything in the sense that there's no excitement, there's no point in everything, why bother doing it if it knows the outcome and it's not at all exciting or interesting or worth it? Like everything is predictable and boring. Everything.

And it also feels so muddy, so foggy. It's like I have only 1 baseline emotion and I sort of stumble through life like that, not like a human but more like an insect.

Idk, maybe I need to do something new, being cooped up in my room for so many years must've been horrible for the brain. But again, there's nothing outside of interest to me. Everything feels ... predictable? I would love to have something that would sort of light a spark again. I'm really tired of my brain feeling like this.

 

[Gymcelled]

Knowing there's no way out and that you'll never experience happiness makes me more numb over time

 

[Deleted member 27159]

Tbh it’s hard to even care about a single thing once you truly know that it’s over

 

[Deleted member 24256]

Tbh it’s hard to even care about a single thing once you truly know that it’s over

 

[Deleted member 7448]

Knowing there's no way out and that you'll never experience happiness makes me more numb over time

Ohh right that's the word, I couldn't remember for some reason. Numb, my brain is really numb, it actually weirdly feels like someone took local anesthesia and put it in the back and sides of my head.

 

[Quarantined]

Society owes you

 

[Gyros_Pretcel]

I should just copy paste your threads and present them as my own, honestly.

I feel socializing helped me a bit. It probably re-awoke some biologically "healthy" routines. Just talked about specific situtaions in life and got some inspiration maybe out of that. Also I replaced coffee first with one green tea in the morning, then ginger and I took a dopaminergen antidepressivum (venlafaxine) and zinc plus probiotics for a while and I am also proteinmaxxing in the morning. ALso I kinda got out of the victim into a let's call upriser mentally. Stopped giving myself shit 24/7 for how my life played out. Illnesses, genes, environment, NORMIES.
I really don't know how the change can be attribute to anything extactly, but well. Used to have these dreams sometimes as well and sometimes I feel like this in rl.

Oh I also, did another simple thing. I do squats while brushing my teeth now. At least ~6 minutes of movement per day, yay.

Oh and I try to replace alcohol with passiflora-valerian tea, but I already mentioned that elsewhere in a thread of yours.

It's all pretty much predicatble ngl. You have to become the unpredictable element in our world yourself.

 

[FUCKITALLREEE]

Tbh it’s hard to even care about a single thing once you truly know that it’s over

 

[AmIjustDreaming]

Knowing there's no way out and that you'll never experience happiness makes me more numb over time

 

[Deleted member 7448]

I should just copy paste your threads and present them as my own, honestly.

I feel socializing helped me a bit. It probably re-awoke some biologically "healthy" routines. Just talked about specific situtaions in life and got some inspiration maybe out of that. Also I replaced coffee first with one green tea in the morning, then ginger and I took a dopaminergen antidepressivum (venlafaxine) and zinc plus probiotics for a while and I am also proteinmaxxing in the morning. ALso I kinda got out of the victim into a let's call upriser mentally. Stopped giving myself shit 24/7 for how my life played out. Illnesses, genes, environment, NORMIES.
I really don't know how the change can be attribute to anything extactly, but well. Used to have these dreams sometimes as well and sometimes I feel like this in rl.

Oh I also, did another simple thing. I do squats while brushing my teeth now. At least ~6 minutes of movement per day, yay.

It's all pretty much predicatble ngl. You have to become the unpredictable element in our world yourself.

That's very good, that's an exemplary case for all people with depression. Really, what you're doing now is the most healthy thing you can be doing, one step at a time towards a happier life. Moping around and wallowing in depression gets really tiring after a while, so I'm glad you were able to get out of it.

 

[DepravedAndDeprived]

I used to love music, but now it just sounds like noise. It evokes no feeling at all. I am numbed to the core.

Tbh it’s hard to even care about a single thing once you truly know that it’s over

Also this.

 

[Deleted member 27204]

I used to love music, but now it just sounds like noise. It evokes no feeling at all. I am numbed to the core.

Every popular song is about sex and other things I can't relate to.

 

[DepravedAndDeprived]

Every popular song is about sex and other things I can't relate to.

I never listened to normie music, in part for that reason.

 

[Deleted member 27204]

I never listened to normie music, in part for that reason.

Yeah there's instrumental music but even that gets stuck in my head and distracts me.

I used to listen to normie music when I tried to NTmaxx. Some of the beats were good, but the lyrics were all love related and i felt increased pressure to get into a relationship in order to enjoy the music fully, otherwise the lyrics sounded so artificial.

 

[DepravedAndDeprived]

I used to listen to normie music when I tried to NTmaxx. Some of the beats were good, but the lyrics were all love related and i felt increased pressure to get into a relationship in order to enjoy the music fully, otherwise the lyrics sounded so artificial.

Recently I decided to check what music is "trending" on YouTube. I don't mean to sound like an old fart but it was all degenerate jogger "music". Tbh maybe we are NT after all and they're the crazy ones.

 

[Deleted member 27204]

Recently I decided to check what music is "trending" on YouTube. I don't mean to sound like an old fart but it was all degenerate jogger "music". Tbh maybe we are NT after all and they're the crazy ones.

Nah if I was NT I wouldn't be thinking so much about all the stuff discussed on this site. But normies are becoming more non-NT and reddit-like with their addiction to social media and never ending self-improvement binges. You can see this by how they literally voice out loud memes like "Imagine being...." and refer to trolls IRL.

This never happened 5 to 10 years ago, it's weird. Also because of women selecting against non-NT traits, it is starting to make less attractive NT males start seeing things from a sub 8 non-NT male's perspective.

 

[turbocuckcel_7000]

after decades of people being allowed to crassly manipulate and optimize their surroundings so that dopamine-increasing activities only flow their way, a dopamine-free life is roughly what you should expect