D
When people with an enjoyable and healthy sex life think of involuntary celibacy, they usually think "Sex is just penis thrusting inside vagina. Why are these losers so obsessed with it?"
Sex is a lot like air in that you don't realize how much you need it until you're going without it. People who have sex regularly don't even think about how much suffering the sexually frustrated go through in their lives. In this, I will attempt to explain exactly why involuntary celibacy is so painful.
Sex and attraction has many traits that make starvation painful.
Sex is the basis of reproduction. It is essential to all life. Without it, evolutionarily advanced organisms such as humans could have never come about. At the same time, there is a paradoxical duality that ensures starvation will never be seen as a real problem: sex is not essential to living at the individual level. In other words, man cannot go without food, water, air; all of these things are necessary for him to live. Man can live without sex, living in the most literal sense of the word.
As long as sex is not needed to sustain life, there will never be solutions to combat sexual starvation like there are for food starvation. Government assistance programs will never lend a helping hand to the involuntary ceilbate the same way that they do with the starving. Along with the stigma of sex itself and the commonly held belief that sexlessness is not a REAL and urgent problem, those with a healthy sex life will never pay a second thought to what the sexually starved are going through.
In addition, sex and attraction is based signfiicantly on physical appearance. This lends an unfair advantage to those who were merely born with fortunate genes. The difference between fulfillment and starvation is a game of chance, a game that started at conception and which the fetus has no control over. In this way, life itself is cruel and the playing field is unfair. Despite this, acknowledging lookism carries the social stigma of realizing that the world is unfair, and all of the pessimism that comes with this realization. People would rather live in a happy bubble of thinking "Personality matters more than looks." They actively spread this malicious lie around, giving a false hope to the sexually starved.
The universality of human sexuality ensures that there will never be any peace for the sexually starved. Short of becoming a hermit in a remote and desolate area, there is no way to avoid the constant reminder of failure and loneliness as the sexually starved see happy couples around them, happy couples with healthy and fulfilling sex lives. Even monks, who are well-known for their voluntary vows of chastity and celibacy, are usually confined to practice in isolated communities, free from the ubiquitous torture of seeing sex and love all around them. Moving away isn't feasible for the modern person, who needs a career and a steady income in a populated and urban area. Suffering then becomes inevitable, constant, and daily in nature.
Reading Elliot Rodger's manifesto struck a chord with me. I have been involuntarily celibate for many years. These realizations could only come to one who has experienced sexual starvation and all of the suffering that accompanies it firsthand. The one thing I noticed about Rodger's lamentations is that he was reflective and deep in his thoughts, a sharp contrast to the hedonistic and happy-go-lucky attitudes and lifestyles of the sexually active people he despised so much. He was awkward and shy in social interactions, but he was far more eloquent and observant than they were. I dare say that he "deserved those girls more," as he painfully said many times in his Youtube videos and his manifesto. If this world were an ideal meritocracy instead of this brutal looks-based attraction arena, as sexually active liars want you to believe, then he would not be involuntarily celibate. Sexually active people reading his manifesto dismissed him as strange and mentally ill because they could not relate to the pain of involuntary celibacy. Though his actions were drastic, his mindset and rationalization made perfect sense to me, even though it is socially taboo for me to support a serial killer. With this entire community of involuntary celibate people, I hope this rambling piece has made you pinpoint exactly why incelibacy hurts so much, though I'm sure all of you knew these subconsciously. I'm not sure what else to say, but best of luck for the future... if there even is one for us all.
Sex is a lot like air in that you don't realize how much you need it until you're going without it. People who have sex regularly don't even think about how much suffering the sexually frustrated go through in their lives. In this, I will attempt to explain exactly why involuntary celibacy is so painful.
Sex and attraction has many traits that make starvation painful.
Sex is the basis of reproduction. It is essential to all life. Without it, evolutionarily advanced organisms such as humans could have never come about. At the same time, there is a paradoxical duality that ensures starvation will never be seen as a real problem: sex is not essential to living at the individual level. In other words, man cannot go without food, water, air; all of these things are necessary for him to live. Man can live without sex, living in the most literal sense of the word.
As long as sex is not needed to sustain life, there will never be solutions to combat sexual starvation like there are for food starvation. Government assistance programs will never lend a helping hand to the involuntary ceilbate the same way that they do with the starving. Along with the stigma of sex itself and the commonly held belief that sexlessness is not a REAL and urgent problem, those with a healthy sex life will never pay a second thought to what the sexually starved are going through.
In addition, sex and attraction is based signfiicantly on physical appearance. This lends an unfair advantage to those who were merely born with fortunate genes. The difference between fulfillment and starvation is a game of chance, a game that started at conception and which the fetus has no control over. In this way, life itself is cruel and the playing field is unfair. Despite this, acknowledging lookism carries the social stigma of realizing that the world is unfair, and all of the pessimism that comes with this realization. People would rather live in a happy bubble of thinking "Personality matters more than looks." They actively spread this malicious lie around, giving a false hope to the sexually starved.
The universality of human sexuality ensures that there will never be any peace for the sexually starved. Short of becoming a hermit in a remote and desolate area, there is no way to avoid the constant reminder of failure and loneliness as the sexually starved see happy couples around them, happy couples with healthy and fulfilling sex lives. Even monks, who are well-known for their voluntary vows of chastity and celibacy, are usually confined to practice in isolated communities, free from the ubiquitous torture of seeing sex and love all around them. Moving away isn't feasible for the modern person, who needs a career and a steady income in a populated and urban area. Suffering then becomes inevitable, constant, and daily in nature.
Reading Elliot Rodger's manifesto struck a chord with me. I have been involuntarily celibate for many years. These realizations could only come to one who has experienced sexual starvation and all of the suffering that accompanies it firsthand. The one thing I noticed about Rodger's lamentations is that he was reflective and deep in his thoughts, a sharp contrast to the hedonistic and happy-go-lucky attitudes and lifestyles of the sexually active people he despised so much. He was awkward and shy in social interactions, but he was far more eloquent and observant than they were. I dare say that he "deserved those girls more," as he painfully said many times in his Youtube videos and his manifesto. If this world were an ideal meritocracy instead of this brutal looks-based attraction arena, as sexually active liars want you to believe, then he would not be involuntarily celibate. Sexually active people reading his manifesto dismissed him as strange and mentally ill because they could not relate to the pain of involuntary celibacy. Though his actions were drastic, his mindset and rationalization made perfect sense to me, even though it is socially taboo for me to support a serial killer. With this entire community of involuntary celibate people, I hope this rambling piece has made you pinpoint exactly why incelibacy hurts so much, though I'm sure all of you knew these subconsciously. I'm not sure what else to say, but best of luck for the future... if there even is one for us all.
