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[Whitepill] Count Your Blessings (Part 2) - What are you thankful for? (A Testimony + White Pill)

Deta97

Deta97

Suicidal Alchemist and Dreamer
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Hello all! I guess I'm back with the follow-up to my last thread, in which I'll say I'm pleased with the responses and am glad that some of you seem to have a heart of gratitude. Even better, is that you're kinda on track with my point.

And if you didn't get to see my last thread, don't worry, you can answer here if you'd like.

Of course, for some, I also acknowledge your struggle in finding something to be thankful for, though no sweat. Hopefully, by the end of this, you'll be able to think of something, because as promised, I'll be sharing my story, along with the ultimate white pill!

Now... without further ado, here we go!

Think of all the times you received good things that you didn't deserve, and despite all the times you've wronged someone.

Such was my life.

I didn't think too much of it at the time, let alone as a nonbeliever, but even then, I always noticed how extraordinarily lucky I was to always have something or someone show up at the right moment when things were getting dark or having everything, even the bad, work out for the good.

I was born with a colloid cyst in the brain, which rendered me unable to talk (all I could do was just scream from what I've been told), yet thankfully my grandparents took me in, which led to my Nana having compassion on me and taking me to Easter-Seals where I got habilitated. Not just that, but I had all the teachers who treated me with nothing but GRACE, even in times which I honestly didn't deserve it, and that is an understatement! I was a terrible student who threw tantrums and rebelled against them, insisting on doing things my way, and I was nothing short of selfish. And despite all that I've done to them, taking them all for granted and being utterly detestable by my deeds, THEY ARE STILL REMEMBERING ME FONDLY AND CHEERING FOR ME! Any other person, if they dealt with someone like me, I can tell you for a FACT things would be VERY different. And that includes the social workers there too, and all other staff.

At my former job, which I hated, though most people were hostile, and my time of working there was unbearable, there was always a few coworkers who treated me decently. And most of the good that came with my job came from my customers, which I've pretty much lucked out for the most part. But towards the end of my time working there, things were changing and there was no longer anything for me there, as the best coworkers have their shift end early and I'm left pretty much isolated. So, as the days pass, I'd find myself being on the verge of snapping, and I feared that I was gonna act out and do something I was going to regret. But then one day, I'd be working on that tobacco lane, and a girl would come into my lane to buy a pack of cigarettes. I didn't think much of her young appearance apart from it being a shame to waste her good looks. Turned out she was underage, and it was a sting operation, and that led to me getting fired. I could've gotten arrested for that, but nah… they simply let me go.

I'd normally be freaking out about that (the fired part, not the ciggys part), but instead, I felt peace. And things worked out in my favor, as about a month later, I'd get hired on the spot by a guy who turned out to have been one of my many customers, and he remembered me. And from there, in my new job (and current), I was treated like family by all my coworkers, and I couldn't be more thankful.

There is more, like meeting a good friend on that dating site by extreme luck, as well as a great therapist, which emphasizes always having something or someone show up at the right time. And lastly, with the part that led to me being saved: getting kicked out of a suicide cult.

Looking back, had it not been for any of that, especially in the last seven years, I'd either be dead, locked up in either prison or a ward, or better yet, remained mentally handicapped, which I've pretty much seen the fruits of that. But in the end, the more I reflect on those good things, well… the more my faith is solidied that there is a God, and he is GOOD. And THIS is His GRACE.

Before being saved, I've done a lot of terrible things, and I mourn for them; I was a womanizer who used to not only look at porn, but took advantage of girls I talked to on Skype, in needy positions. and I've bullied people. I once molested my cousin at the age of 8. And in my selfish pursuit of my own death, I led people to their own, helping them kill themselves. And there was so much more; the list is endless. I used to not be so bothered by it and justify myself as being “more righteous than others”, but in the end, I'm a sinner who doesn't even deserve to live, let alone any good thing. Yet here I am. Shown mercy, being called out of the darkness I've walked and forgiven. As immediately upon believing, though not yet coming to the truth about Christ Jesus, all my addictions and vices fell off of me.

And though I was self righteous and utterly prideful, God was patient enough to humble me and lead me to the truth by His word, keeping me from getting yoked into false doctorines of doing works to be saved or going to “deliverance ministries”, and all that. And when I went through hard times, he was there. And whenever I fell short and ended up wanting to give up, I would be reminded of his ever-enduring love and grace as despite my errors and folly, he'd never let me go.

That is who God is, not just for me, but for everyone, and if He's willing to show me mercy and forgive me of my inequities, how much more will He forgive you if you come to him.

If this has meant something to you and you wish to also know the truth that sets you free, here is the truth:

We've all sinned against a Holy God, and because of our rebellion, we are deserving of condemnation, and none of our good works will ever be enough to save us. The law of God calls for perfection, and because we've fallen short of it, we are under judgment. But God loved us despite our broken and sinful nature, and He knows we can never do what He calls for us to do. So, out of his love, He came down in the form of his only begotten Son, Christ Jesus of Nazareth. He walked a sinless life, fulfilling the entire law of the prophets, to die a sinner's death on the cross, his BLOOD was shed, and he rose on the third day, that whoever simply believes on Him shall never perish but have everlasting life. And the moment you believe on Him, you are given a new heart, and the indwelling Spirit, who will lead you to all truths and guide you on the path of righteousness! And you are SEALED unto the day of redemption, and no one can snatch you out of His hand!

For we are saved by GRACE through FAITH, and that is NOT of ourselves; it is a GIFT of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. (Ephesians 2:8–9)

not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, (Titus 3:5)

And know that from my testimony, that all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)

In short, you are loved by the only One who matters, and as soon as you realize that, everything else that you feel you lack becomes irrelevant because He is the one who can and will fill that void.
 

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