Welcome to Incels.is - Involuntary Celibate Forum

Welcome! This is a forum for involuntary celibates: people who lack a significant other. Are you lonely and wish you had someone in your life? You're not alone! Join our forum and talk to people just like you.

Theory Copes and why they come up short

decafincel

decafincel

Captain
★★
Joined
Dec 2, 2023
Posts
1,688
(I'm still fleshing this out but think I have gotten this to the point of posting. I fleshed all of this out a a taco bell tis afternoon).

There are lots of way to cope. Coping is defined from a psychology perspective as
A process of constantly changing cognitive (mental thought patterns) and behavioral (how we act) efforts to manage specific external and/or internal demands or conflicts appraised as taxing or exceeding one's resources (Lazarus & Folkman, 1984, p. 141) [emphasis added by me]
What this means is we change our thoughts and actions in to handle stressful situations in order to keep us at a level where we can function.

The two main types of copes are problem focused coping and emotion focused coping. These are self explanatory so I will not five much further into them.

Take a classic example, a test. Tests are stressful because if you do poorly on them, you do not pass and your parents may be mad, you loose scholarships, get a bad course grade, etc. Here we have problem focused coping. We may cope by trying things like making study plans, trying to gather information to accurately assess the situation, and positive self talk to give us confidence we can do well and put our mind at ease. If we fail or not do quite as well as we know we should have, one may cope by saying things like "I'll do better next time" "everyone else did bad so that's ok" "the professor likes them and hates me so he gave me a bad grade". The point is, our brain and our bodies are always trying to reduce stress as much as possible and justify it.


Now we take a look at everyday things that have copes. These could be Work (Cope example: Becky got the promotion and I didn't because she had huge tits and the boss is a perv OR Action example: I'm going to learn Python so they'll have to promote me next time), family (Aunt Karen will die soon, just suck it up for one more visit) and recreation (I'll play in softball three nights a week this year so I don't have to go home OR I'm going to Trivia night twice a week to give me something to look forward to). All of these can effectively mitigate or deflect stress because they answer questions we have mentally, or use our energy in productive ways that benefit us in several areas.


Now let's think about inceldom: Unlike Work, which you can get better at; Family, which you can work to build a relationship with (might not always work but you can say you put the effort in and tried, and that is a good cope); or recreation, which involves health, fitness, and mental stimulation and usually allows you to be in a environment with people who somewhat care about you, inceldom does not have this. Thinks like alcohol, drugs, porn, etc. cannot be copes because they don't actually address the problem itself.

Sure it can distract you, but it doesn't fix the root problem: Women do not like you, and as many people will say here, they actively hate you. There is no fix for this. Escorts act like they care but you know deep down no matter how much you justify it, she would never have sex with you for free, let alone go on a date with you where you split the bill 50/50.

The normie cannot understand this, because even if he is bad with women, he hasn no doubt had some positive experience with them in the last whether is was a middle school girlfriend, a one night stand in college, or a wild fling after the bar with a chick. Even if it's 5 years ago, he copes by saying he did it, and he can do it again. Incels cannot and will not have this, and they know it once yey accept the blackpill. That is why Volcels won't ever feel the way people here do.



Tldr: Inceldom does not have a true cope because the only true cope to a lack of female attention is previously received positive consensual romantic female attention, and by definition a incel cannot have this.
 
(I'm still fleshing this out but think I have gotten this to the point of posting. I fleshed all of this out a a taco bell tis afternoon).

There are lots of way to cope. Coping is defined from a psychology perspective as

What this means is we change our thoughts and actions in to handle stressful situations in order to keep us at a level where we can function.

The two main types of copes are problem focused coping and emotion focused coping. These are self explanatory so I will not five much further into them.

Take a classic example, a test. Tests are stressful because if you do poorly on them, you do not pass and your parents may be mad, you loose scholarships, get a bad course grade, etc. Here we have problem focused coping. We may cope by trying things like making study plans, trying to gather information to accurately assess the situation, and positive self talk to give us confidence we can do well and put our mind at ease. If we fail or not do quite as well as we know we should have, one may cope by saying things like "I'll do better next time" "everyone else did bad so that's ok" "the professor likes them and hates me so he gave me a bad grade". The point is, our brain and our bodies are always trying to reduce stress as much as possible and justify it.


Now we take a look at everyday things that have copes. These could be Work (Cope example: Becky got the promotion and I didn't because she had huge tits and the boss is a perv OR Action example: I'm going to learn Python so they'll have to promote me next time), family (Aunt Karen will die soon, just suck it up for one more visit) and recreation (I'll play in softball three nights a week this year so I don't have to go home OR I'm going to Trivia night twice a week to give me something to look forward to). All of these can effectively mitigate or deflect stress because they answer questions we have mentally, or use our energy in productive ways that benefit us in several areas.


Now let's think about inceldom: Unlike Work, which you can get better at; Family, which you can work to build a relationship with (might not always work but you can say you put the effort in and tried, and that is a good cope); or recreation, which involves health, fitness, and mental stimulation and usually allows you to be in a environment with people who somewhat care about you, inceldom does not have this. Thinks like alcohol, drugs, porn, etc. cannot be copes because they don't actually address the problem itself.

Sure it can distract you, but it doesn't fix the root problem: Women do not like you, and as many people will say here, they actively hate you. There is no fix for this. Escorts act like they care but you know deep down no matter how much you justify it, she would never have sex with you for free, let alone go on a date with you where you split the bill 50/50.

The normie cannot understand this, because even if he is bad with women, he hasn no doubt had some positive experience with them in the last whether is was a middle school girlfriend, a one night stand in college, or a wild fling after the bar with a chick. Even if it's 5 years ago, he copes by saying he did it, and he can do it again. Incels cannot and will not have this, and they know it once yey accept the blackpill. That is why Volcels won't ever feel the way people here do.



Tldr: Inceldom does not have a true cope because the only true cope to a lack of female attention is previously received positive consensual romantic female attention, and by definition a incel cannot have this.
my copes never help. My shit experiences still come through my mind no matter what i do and even if i get a bit distracted with my cope It’s only temporary
 
This is why copes stop working after a while.
 
Yeah if the problem cannot be fixed then all you can do is distract yourself perpetually.

But i think the problem can be fixed, but not at the individual level. Incels need to bond together as a social class to press their interests and force normies to take our grievances seriously, and ultimately restrict the postmodern advents that have exacerbated inceldim and hypergamy (social media, abortion, non-monogamy etc.)
 
Yeah if the problem cannot be fixed then all you can do is distract yourself perpetually.

But i think the problem can be fixed, but not at the individual level. Incels need to bond together as a social class to press their interests and force normies to take our grievances seriously, and ultimately restrict the postmodern advents that have exacerbated inceldim and hypergamy (social media, abortion, non-monogamy etc.)
Collectivism may be the only way
 
Yeah if the problem cannot be fixed then all you can do is distract yourself perpetually.

But i think the problem can be fixed, but not at the individual level. Incels need to bond together as a social class to press their interests and force normies to take our grievances seriously, and ultimately restrict the postmodern advents that have exacerbated inceldim and hypergamy (social media, abortion, non-monogamy etc.)
 
Yeah if the problem cannot be fixed then all you can do is distract yourself perpetually.

But i think the problem can be fixed, but not at the individual level. Incels need to bond together as a social class to press their interests and force normies to take our grievances seriously, and ultimately restrict the postmodern advents that have exacerbated inceldim and hypergamy (social media, abortion, non-monogamy etc.)
 
every cope ends
mine was vidya for the longest time, sure males age bit more gracefully than yur avg foid but still
age pill is the ultimate black pill
you on your 60th birthday will never be as good as when you were 20...

Yeah if the problem cannot be fixed then all you can do is distract yourself perpetually.

But i think the problem can be fixed, but not at the individual level. Incels need to bond together as a social class to press their interests and force normies to take our grievances seriously, and ultimately restrict the postmodern advents that have exacerbated inceldim and hypergamy (social media, abortion, non-monogamy etc.)
exactly
most normie males are getting black pilled cause their copes are ending. i went back to school as millennial barely any couples in campus. no way your typical normie dorkie is getting any ass these days
you wont even have to force normies, incels will just outnumber everything...:feelsaww:
 

Users who are viewing this thread

shape1
shape2
shape3
shape4
shape5
shape6
Back
Top