loneliness will bring everyone to his knees eventually. having to fight a constant uphill battle is exhausting. others get validation from friends and loved ones, but you just have to put in energy constantly for nothing. what do you gain at the end of the day? nothing. you are worthless to the people around you. whenever you run out of energy to give you gonna be alone again. im not mad that chad gets a bonus for his looks. im talking about beeing well below average. your looks wont get you neutral treatment. people will go out of their way to put you down. at this point no cope and no plaything i can buy makes me happy anymore. i realized that i just try to survive to the wekends and on the weekends i try to do things i enjoy to regain energy. i cannot regain energy anymore. i tried socializing, but well not even dudes want me around them. i think thats it for my attempt at socializing. ill just wait till the loneliness takes its toll on my health.