Compliment that I both appreciated and lamented.

[Sub8Hate]

I just went out to smoke and a foid that I work with came out to join me.

I asked her how she was and she kind of grumbled to herself. 

I said "not feeling well? Hope I didn't bother you," and let out a small chuckle.

She responded, "oh no, sub8, you're one of the few people here who I don't mind talking to and spending time with." 

It was an incredibly nice thing to say, but I know if I escalated that she would never want me. 

I thanked her for being so nice and her eyes lit up, she seemed to let out an excited little yelp and said that I was so very welcome and wished me a good day. 

Now I sit at my desk and reel back in sadness. 

If we were to have such an interaction in the context of a relationship I would be so unbelievably happy. Our back and forth would be perfect for it. I would feel as if I had found what I've been looking for for so long.

I know she would never have me... She's thin, cute, and too good for me. 
I wish I was chadlite so that I had a chance. Yet all I can do is rot away slowly, whilst proving that personality is a meme that bears no fruit. 

In this moment I have been cut deeply and am fated to remain eternally in despair.
This is why I don't keep femoid friends.

 

[Autismcel1]

She sounds interested, and the fact that she said something like that means she isn't disgusted by you. Go for it, you've got nothing to lose.

 

[Sub8Hate]

She sounds interested, and the fact that she said something like that means she isn't disgusted by you.  Go for it, you've got nothing to lose.

It would seem so, eh? But I know the truth and it hurts pretty badly. I'm in the process of looksmaxxing, if she escalates her level of interest or starts getting really touchy Feely with me once I reach my goals, then I'll give it a go.
Odds are I'd get rejected. I'm just to heavy right now, no part of me is attractive.

All I can do is dream, dream of her in my arms whilst she says lovely things to me and I give her small, delicate kisses on the back of her neck. Tickling her as she tries to tickle back whilst we both smile with a twinkle in our eyes. 

In this moment I feel the melancholy of a thousand incels. 

Personality, lol. =(