All the happy go lucky bullshit, like there's anything to be happy about. Life is fucking shit, and it always has been. We never celebrated Christmas growing up or any other holiday, our family was too busy getting high on crack and stabbing each other to ever celebrate a fucking holiday. And I'm supposed to say merry Christmas and pretend like like I haven't been thinking about killing myself since I was 9 years old, i can't even remember the last time I felt happy so nah, I'm not gonna pretend like everything is fine when I'm miserable every single minute, so screw all this happy bullshit, all this holiday cheer, it's all fucked, everyone in my family is dying, dead, on drugs, or killing each other. Winter isn't some fun time,it's cold and brittle and frozen, fucking freezing my balls off in 15 degree weather in the hell house I grew up in that doesn't even have sheetrocked walls, just a bunch of insulation and live wires dangling out of the walls, the walls we do have you can literally hear fucking rats scurrying around on the other side of, all while living with my fucking father that told me I was an embarrassment my entire childhood, hit me, made fun of me, screamed in my face for hours on end till I couldn't even sleep at night because I kept waking up from nightmares of him beating me to death. So fuck christmas. There is no holiday cheer for me, or any 5'6 poverty stricken subhuman like me, so you can take all that holiday bullshit and shove it up your ass.
