I know it’s just plain shitty to compare yourself to others, and a lot of it I really couldn’t give less of a shit about, but some aspects really just makes me feel inferior to everybody that’s my age; especially the fact that literal whores have everything gifted to them that I work my ass off to even dream of getting, let alone uptight normies/chadlites achieving without any effort.
I have a below average amount of income, can barely afford anything most of the time, I lack having anything that directly insinuates having “stability” as an adult, I really feel like low-tier garbage a lot of the time despite me trying my hardest to at least build-up the care for myself—which has been an uphill battle to say the least. I’m practically at the point of “accepting” myself to be unlovable, but after years of long thought, the whitepill is unfortunately unachievable in my eyes outside of maybe when i’m in psychosis or a manic state.
Social Media somewhat plays a part of this, but I obviously recognize it’s inherently fake, but the worst part to me is having to go out in public and seeing people younger than me that I see IRL has so much more than me simply given to them, especially females by simps/parents or whatever.
Also in retrospect, a bunch of my direct family dying suddenly when I was a child to a late-teenager had a big part in this, and basically going from having a supportive family to barely anything within a few years, and having to “fight” (struggle) to get basic needs in life compared to an average family, of which I once had as a young child and no longer have since a teenager is maybe the biggest defining factor in the way I feel outside of just constantly seeing physical proof.
I don’t even really think i’m that much bitter at the world as I am recoiling into myself and kinda spiraling into a depression. Shit sucks, but it is what it is, and i’ll try my best to keep on pushin’.
I have a below average amount of income, can barely afford anything most of the time, I lack having anything that directly insinuates having “stability” as an adult, I really feel like low-tier garbage a lot of the time despite me trying my hardest to at least build-up the care for myself—which has been an uphill battle to say the least. I’m practically at the point of “accepting” myself to be unlovable, but after years of long thought, the whitepill is unfortunately unachievable in my eyes outside of maybe when i’m in psychosis or a manic state.
Social Media somewhat plays a part of this, but I obviously recognize it’s inherently fake, but the worst part to me is having to go out in public and seeing people younger than me that I see IRL has so much more than me simply given to them, especially females by simps/parents or whatever.
Also in retrospect, a bunch of my direct family dying suddenly when I was a child to a late-teenager had a big part in this, and basically going from having a supportive family to barely anything within a few years, and having to “fight” (struggle) to get basic needs in life compared to an average family, of which I once had as a young child and no longer have since a teenager is maybe the biggest defining factor in the way I feel outside of just constantly seeing physical proof.
I don’t even really think i’m that much bitter at the world as I am recoiling into myself and kinda spiraling into a depression. Shit sucks, but it is what it is, and i’ll try my best to keep on pushin’.
