I think I changed my opinion on Billy Mitchell. I believe he is the gamer Chad every gamercel aspires to be (even grifting YouTuber critics like Karl Jobst).
Billy Mitchell can both get world records on his own and pretend to get world records by cheating and nothing can happen to him because he likes doing it and he thinks it’s funny.
Billy Mitchell can sue you just for saying his name in vain and take all your money, your house, your Asian wife, and kid. And there is nothing you can do about it because this is another game to Billy and he’s always going to get the high score.
Billy Mitchell can fly to Japan and fuck all nine of these Japanese groupies in his hotel room (Namco CEO is forced to sit in the chair and watch watch) because this is just a normal day in the life of Billy Mitchell.
Billy Mitchell controls the gaming industry and all records and high scores. Because everyone’s on Billy’s side. Game developers have to ask Billy’s permission before they can build their game.
Billy Mitchell makes hot sauce to burn the mouths of losers because only GAMING CHADS can consume it. Billy Himself chugs down a jug of the stuff right before getting yet another high score.
Most importantly, Billy Mitchell is a proud patriot of BURGERLAND and represents the best the country has to offer. That’s why I love Billy Mitchell, gaming Chad of the millennium and American Hero.
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Billy Mitchell can both get world records on his own and pretend to get world records by cheating and nothing can happen to him because he likes doing it and he thinks it’s funny.
Billy Mitchell can sue you just for saying his name in vain and take all your money, your house, your Asian wife, and kid. And there is nothing you can do about it because this is another game to Billy and he’s always going to get the high score.
Billy Mitchell can fly to Japan and fuck all nine of these Japanese groupies in his hotel room (Namco CEO is forced to sit in the chair and watch watch) because this is just a normal day in the life of Billy Mitchell.
Billy Mitchell controls the gaming industry and all records and high scores. Because everyone’s on Billy’s side. Game developers have to ask Billy’s permission before they can build their game.
Billy Mitchell makes hot sauce to burn the mouths of losers because only GAMING CHADS can consume it. Billy Himself chugs down a jug of the stuff right before getting yet another high score.
Most importantly, Billy Mitchell is a proud patriot of BURGERLAND and represents the best the country has to offer. That’s why I love Billy Mitchell, gaming Chad of the millennium and American Hero.
View attachment IMG_0985.webp
