Yesterday i wanted to go to a party which my "friends" were attending, it was a party of this random girl from class, boys dont really even speak to her but I guess she wanted to have a massive party. Anyhow she invited everyone from class except me and this other nerdy guy, lets name him Mark. The guys from class really wanted this nerdy guy to go to the party illegaly and were joking how to take him there and hide him etc. Now i thought they wanted me there aswell, afterall, we're "friends", we hangout together but turns out i was mistaken: I got a bit drunk before going to the party and went to the location of the party with a random friend of mine and shit, nobody there. So i rang up all my friends at the party, no response, even though they were all active, kept doing this a couple of times and finally someone picked up and told me that its a different address. So shit I go there, turns out, they lied to me and made me take the bus all across town to a random location just for it to turn out there's also nobody there. I was so angry, why would they even fucking do this? I rang up my friends again and it was becoming pretty obvious that they were trolling me. So i realized that no matter what they told me that they're lying and that they obviously don't want me there. I just couldn't understand why they didnt want me and wanted Mark so badly. Then an epiphany, I connected the dots; the girl didn't really even have nothing against me, she couldnt, we never ever talked, but I remembered all the time my friends told all types of nasty stuff about me to her, mostly lies just so they can feel better about themselves and make themselves look better infront of the girls from class. . In those situations i couldnt defend myself, it was always 10v1. I treated these insults as "friendly banter" but now I realize, it was all vile bullying. THEY didnt want me to go. Now, they claim that they did all this trolling with the location of the party because "I wasnt invited, sorry bro, we were just enforcing the rules creatively". I caught on with their bullshit, they actively supported Mark going, but actively did everything so that I wouldn't go.
Basically anyone could come to the party except me, everyone wanted Mark, meanwhile nobody, absolutely nobody wanted me. I spent the night wandering around the city drinking beer, got lost in a field with my random friend and kept on drinking and nearly didn't make it home. Yesterday was one of worst days i've ever had.
I feel betrayed, these "pals" with which i laughed together were just hanging out with me to use me. I also feel stupid; how I didn't notice, and thought everything was well. My friends were never really my friends, i was just a tool for them to make themselves look better infront of girls, and served them no additional value. I was just a joke to them.
I'll probably be drinking again tonight.
Basically anyone could come to the party except me, everyone wanted Mark, meanwhile nobody, absolutely nobody wanted me. I spent the night wandering around the city drinking beer, got lost in a field with my random friend and kept on drinking and nearly didn't make it home. Yesterday was one of worst days i've ever had.
I feel betrayed, these "pals" with which i laughed together were just hanging out with me to use me. I also feel stupid; how I didn't notice, and thought everything was well. My friends were never really my friends, i was just a tool for them to make themselves look better infront of girls, and served them no additional value. I was just a joke to them.
I'll probably be drinking again tonight.
