SuicideFuel Being ugly is driving me crazy, even in my mid 30's.

[Jerek]

I feel that all of my life i've been a bipolar person, even if i'm not.

In reality, with age, i've acclimated to some "medium" mood where i just do not care and i try to avoid as much as possible sexual stimuli, especially those that are prohibited to me due to me being not chad.

So if i watch to a picture of an escort i'm fine, because i can always buy her, but if i'm watching a couple of good looking person taking pictures on instagram i suddendly get depressed... and the problem is that this can happen randomly: i was browsing the facebook page of an ugly youtuber i follow, and he published this picture of anoter chad youtuber with a big boobed stacy.

Point is, even in my mid 30's, there's always a trap. I can pretend i'm fine and it can last for a bit, but then *something* happens that slams in my face the harsh reality of the life of chad, being it shit like the one i've described above, or maybe i stumble into some amateur porn with big dicked chad railing a hot stacy or shit like that.

I've been heavily depressed in the past, prone to suicide, i've got even into a rehab house (i'm not a drug addict, but i'm using this term because i don't know the right one being not american), but i've managed to escape and i try to live my life like that... but there is always some way that i fall back into that teen depression where i realize i'm an ugly nerd, now middle aged, and no woman will never desire me in the way i want to.

Sometimes i wish i could live in denial like a cuck: they know the harsh truth but somehow they delude themselves so hard that they probably developed some primal coping mechanism that allows them to ignore they will never be wanted like chad. Sure, i'd have less dignity, but i'd probably live a little better.

I really wish we had a fucking button to press so we can die instantly, i'd push it right now.

 

[squirrelsonfire2]

It’s like being a helpless animal in a cage. We can’t act on our primal instincts of just raping a woman or we will go to jail so there’s nothing we can do

 

[Smitty]

I feel that all of my life i've been a bipolar person, even if i'm not.

In reality, with age, i've acclimated to some "medium" mood where i just do not care and i try to avoid as much as possible sexual stimuli, especially those that are prohibited to me due to me being not chad.

So if i watch to a picture of an escort i'm fine, because i can always buy her, but if i'm watching a couple of good looking person taking pictures on instagram i suddendly get depressed... and the problem is that this can happen randomly: i was browsing the facebook page of an ugly youtuber i follow, and he published this picture of anoter chad youtuber with a big boobed stacy.

Point is, even in my mid 30's, there's always a trap. I can pretend i'm fine and it can last for a bit, but then *something* happens that slams in my face the harsh reality of the life of chad, being it shit like the one i've described above, or maybe i stumble into some amateur porn with big dicked chad railing a hot stacy or shit like that.

I've been heavily depressed in the past, prone to suicide, i've got even into a rehab house (i'm not a drug addict, but i'm using this term because i don't know the right one being not american), but i've managed to escape and i try to live my life like that... but there is always some way that i fall back into that teen depression where i realize i'm an ugly nerd, now middle aged, and no woman will never desire me in the way i want to.

Sometimes i wish i could live in denial like a cuck: they know the harsh truth but somehow they delude themselves so hard that they probably developed some primal coping mechanism that allows them to ignore they will never be wanted like chad. Sure, i'd have less dignity, but i'd probably live a little better.

I really wish we had a fucking button to press so we can die instantly, i'd push it right now.

I am sorry you got no replies

 

[npcel]

I feel that all of my life i've been a bipolar person, even if i'm not.

In reality, with age, i've acclimated to some "medium" mood where i just do not care and i try to avoid as much as possible sexual stimuli, especially those that are prohibited to me due to me being not chad.

So if i watch to a picture of an escort i'm fine, because i can always buy her, but if i'm watching a couple of good looking person taking pictures on instagram i suddendly get depressed... and the problem is that this can happen randomly: i was browsing the facebook page of an ugly youtuber i follow, and he published this picture of anoter chad youtuber with a big boobed stacy.

Point is, even in my mid 30's, there's always a trap. I can pretend i'm fine and it can last for a bit, but then *something* happens that slams in my face the harsh reality of the life of chad, being it shit like the one i've described above, or maybe i stumble into some amateur porn with big dicked chad railing a hot stacy or shit like that.

I've been heavily depressed in the past, prone to suicide, i've got even into a rehab house (i'm not a drug addict, but i'm using this term because i don't know the right one being not american), but i've managed to escape and i try to live my life like that... but there is always some way that i fall back into that teen depression where i realize i'm an ugly nerd, now middle aged, and no woman will never desire me in the way i want to.

Sometimes i wish i could live in denial like a cuck: they know the harsh truth but somehow they delude themselves so hard that they probably developed some primal coping mechanism that allows them to ignore they will never be wanted like chad. Sure, i'd have less dignity, but i'd probably live a little better.

I really wish we had a fucking button to press so we can die instantly, i'd push it right now.

Brocel I feel like I am you. though I'm not in my mid 30's.. Plan is to rope before 35 (LOL)

Sometimes I can cope for some days or whatever and then baam.. suicidal like hell. One thing keeping me together is making appointments with hookers like 2-3 days prior so I've something to look for .... The day after is then another hell again. End me

 

[cryptic__egg]

I don't think I'm strong enough to make it that far in life ngl

 

[Hell]

The only way you can really escape is to move to remote Alaska or something and live off the land.
You'll be too busy surviving far away from civilization to care to remember that everyone else is living fulfilling lives that you aren't allowed to because of your appearance.

 

[Uglyme]

I'm on the same boat

 

[Tenshi]

Yeah man it sucks but there's no much you can do about it. Only thing I can suggest you is to find some good copes and stay away from social media, this shit is suifuel, not even only for incels but for people in general. People are selling an image to you there which in most cases is not a real thing at all.

For me something that I can't stand are SJWs and progressive propaganda, so I just don't watch the news anymore. I hope this corona-shit ends as soon as possible so I can find a job and cope with other things, in real life actually so I can stay away from all that shit as much as possible, I'm going to try travelling or something.

Take care of the mental health as well, this is good quote about depressing:

The only way you can really escape is to move to remote Alaska or something and live off the land.
You'll be too busy surviving far away from civilization to care to remember that everyone else is living fulfilling lives that you aren't allowed to because of your appearance.

I don't even believe all these people are actually living fulfilling lives, to me it seems most of them are coping hard and the ones who aren't soon will be. Everyone seems pretty unsatisfied and depressed these days.

If there's something actually good about being blackpilled is knowing that life sucks and it's all about coping with this reality. I won't be depressed in the future when things get worse cuz I already know they will. I never really had anything to begin with so what can I lose?

Also, living in a remote place sounds like a really good idea. Maybe I'll try to do something like that in the future.

 

[Mainländer]

I have been there, but thank God all suicidal and desperate thoughts went away when I got saved.