Being ND is a death sentence

[doomedschizocel]

I'm deep in my psychosis, I might never get out of it. Antipsychotics will never make me NT, they only allow me to mask slightly better (which is hell in itself). I will never be in a relationship, and I've never aspired to since I have always been deeply aware it was never an option for me, amongst the fact that this world and the nature of humans is something I'm deeply incompatible with, ND or not. I can't hold conversations because of my schizophrenia, so friends are unattainable as well. I only have one other friend and he's schizophrenic too, he's constantly in psychosis and probably the most intense case of schizophrenia I've seen other than myself. I will never have any "normal" relationships with anyone because of the way I'm wired. I've lived this way since I was a child so I've already accepted my fate, but I'm not sure I'm willing to go on like this for longer. The rope is calling my name, but I couldn't do that to my family. I have to suffer daily because of their selfishness in wanting to keep me alive. I'm never getting out of the psychiatric system, and I've been in it since I was 11. I have absolutely no chance of living a normal life outside of psychiatric instutitions and the constant monitoring of my family. I rely on my family to take care of me because I'm practically disabled. My mother has to take care of my money so I don't end up homeless and in debt from my own stupid decisions. I would be dead or a homeless junkie if it wasn't for them, so I'm grateful, but being coerced to live at what cost? I have to self isolate from the world so I don't go full schizo in public. I can't go to school or participate in the real world. Each time I've attempted to I just ended up in the same position. I've almost ended up in prison twice because of my psychosis, but my diagnosis saved me both times. I've done things I will never forgive myself for fully. I've let down all the (few) people in my life. I can't trust myself with others or even myself. I haven't had a day of peace. With schizophrenia there is no peace. No amount of distracting yourself or medication will stop your head from spinning at levels incomprehensible to NTs. All I want is a loving foid to take care of me and accept me for who I am, but that's fairytales. I'm on an important mission at the moment, but if I get out of this psychosis I might try to cure my schizophrenia with diets and some underground therapy method. If I'm stuck like this for the rest of my life, I will accept it, but I pray for another way every day. My uncle has schizophrenia as well and I'm afraid I'll end up like him. Fate is beyond brutal... if you're NT, be grateful you still have a few directions you can take in life despite being an incel. There is simply no hope for me if I don't find some cure. I might be too far gone even if I do, it won't undo the things I've done in my shitty truecel life. How do you even cope with unbearable guilt and shame? I can't look people in the eye anymore, the voices are almost constant, I can't have normal conversations, I can't get my words out in person and barely online, I can't participate in anything because I'm too disconnected from this realm. I'm strangely aware this time around, but it doesn't help me much. Any other schizocels on here?
View: https://youtu.be/vZsSUTXWAbA?si=GLMWwMlZXgi76w18

 

[doomedschizocel]

Tried moving out since my schizophrenia was too much to handle for my father, and it just strained our relationship living together, but that ended terribly as well. Now I'm living with my mother again. I will never get out of this I think. Brutal

 

[doomedschizocel]

My siblings used to mock me and degrade me for the way I'm wired throughout my entire life, but I don't hold it against them since they never understood what was wrong with me, neither did I (pre-diagnosis). Now that they know of my diagnosis they're treating me like a child, having to limit what I'm allowed to discuss with them, like tard wranglers. I still have a decent relationship with them, but it's too hard to interact with NTs.

 

[autisticsoy]

You sounded similiar to a cousin i had. I rarely met him and didnt know about him until they day he died due to suicide. He had bipolarism and apparently at times before his suicide would strip naked during the street. Being non nt truly is a travesty.

 

[DoomThreeKoala]

It's over buddyboyo

 

[doomedschizocel]

You sounded similiar to a cousin i had. I rarely met him and didnt know about him until they day he died due to suicide. He had bipolarism and apparently at times before his suicide would strip naked during the street. Being non nt truly is a travesty.

My mother had to stop me recently from doing something similar. Suicide might be my fate, I'm still debating it.

 

[BasedGoyslopReviews]

neuro-dievirgin
NT normies can start sexting girls mere days /couple weeks after meeting them. this is how so many relationships come from apps
meanwhile we cant hold a conversation with a cashier

 

[Caichan]

Antipsychotics

 

[superpsycho]

neuro-dievirgin
NT normies can start sexting girls mere days /couple weeks after meeting them. this is how so many relationships come from apps
meanwhile we cant hold a conversation with a cashier

 

[autisticsoy]

My mother had to stop me recently from doing something similar. Suicide might be my fate, I'm still debating it.

try to see if you can navigate around it first

 

[luninyt]

Find autistic girls, NT girls are impossible to
find

 

[doomedschizocel]

Find autistic girls, NT girls are impossible to
find

I need a foid like my mother that can take care of me, she's NT. I highly doubt an autistic foid would be able to handle my level of mental illness. Well, not that finding any girl is an option for me anyway. I don't like the nature of foids, but maybe if she couldn't talk and grew up with wolves or something primal like that.

 

[BasedGoyslopReviews]

Find autistic girls, NT girls are impossible to
find

autistic girls are part of AWALT. im more depressed today than ive been in years because of seeing one effortlessly surpass me. long story short I saw this one foid in a group chat i was part of, was autistic, dsm-2 level, doubtful she will ever live independently (stays with parents) crying for a couple months about life being hard, says been in and out of institutions for 8 years+
fast forward she sent nudes to a HTN in the group chat like 3 weeks after barely knowing him. They've been discussing sex acts in obscene detail, hyping eachother up when they meet in real life.
Even barely functioning autist foids are like this.

 

[Pikacel]

I'm deep in my psychosis, I might never get out of it. Antipsychotics will never make me NT, they only allow me to mask slightly better (which is hell in itself). I will never be in a relationship, and I've never aspired to since I have always been deeply aware it was never an option for me, amongst the fact that this world and the nature of humans is something I'm deeply incompatible with, ND or not. I can't hold conversations because of my schizophrenia, so friends are unattainable as well. I only have one other friend and he's schizophrenic too, he's constantly in psychosis and probably the most intense case of schizophrenia I've seen other than myself. I will never have any "normal" relationships with anyone because of the way I'm wired. I've lived this way since I was a child so I've already accepted my fate, but I'm not sure I'm willing to go on like this for longer. The rope is calling my name, but I couldn't do that to my family. I have to suffer daily because of their selfishness in wanting to keep me alive. I'm never getting out of the psychiatric system, and I've been in it since I was 11. I have absolutely no chance of living a normal life outside of psychiatric instutitions and the constant monitoring of my family. I rely on my family to take care of me because I'm practically disabled. My mother has to take care of my money so I don't end up homeless and in debt from my own stupid decisions. I would be dead or a homeless junkie if it wasn't for them, so I'm grateful, but being coerced to live at what cost? I have to self isolate from the world so I don't go full schizo in public. I can't go to school or participate in the real world. Each time I've attempted to I just ended up in the same position. I've almost ended up in prison twice because of my psychosis, but my diagnosis saved me both times. I've done things I will never forgive myself for fully. I've let down all the (few) people in my life. I can't trust myself with others or even myself. I haven't had a day of peace. With schizophrenia there is no peace. No amount of distracting yourself or medication will stop your head from spinning at levels incomprehensible to NTs. All I want is a loving foid to take care of me and accept me for who I am, but that's fairytales. I'm on an important mission at the moment, but if I get out of this psychosis I might try to cure my schizophrenia with diets and some underground therapy method. If I'm stuck like this for the rest of my life, I will accept it, but I pray for another way every day. My uncle has schizophrenia as well and I'm afraid I'll end up like him. Fate is beyond brutal... if you're NT, be grateful you still have a few directions you can take in life despite being an incel. There is simply no hope for me if I don't find some cure. I might be too far gone even if I do, it won't undo the things I've done in my shitty truecel life. How do you even cope with unbearable guilt and shame? I can't look people in the eye anymore, the voices are almost constant, I can't have normal conversations, I can't get my words out in person and barely online, I can't participate in anything because I'm too disconnected from this realm. I'm strangely aware this time around, but it doesn't help me much. Any other schizocels on here?
View: https://youtu.be/vZsSUTXWAbA?si=GLMWwMlZXgi76w18

Treatment you get is worse than the ND itself

 

[luninyt]

autistic girls are part of AWALT. im more depressed today than ive been in years because of seeing one effortlessly surpass me. long story short I saw this one foid in a group chat i was part of, was autistic, dsm-2 level, doubtful she will ever live independently (stays with parents) crying for a couple months about life being hard, says been in and out of institutions for 8 years+
fast forward she sent nudes to a HTN in the group chat like 3 weeks after barely knowing him. They've been discussing sex acts in obscene detail, hyping eachother up when they meet in real life.
Even barely functioning autist foids are like this.

Brootal

 

[DeformedDysgenicCel]

I'm deep in my psychosis, I might never get out of it. Antipsychotics will never make me NT, they only allow me to mask slightly better (which is hell in itself). I will never be in a relationship, and I've never aspired to since I have always been deeply aware it was never an option for me, amongst the fact that this world and the nature of humans is something I'm deeply incompatible with, ND or not. I can't hold conversations because of my schizophrenia, so friends are unattainable as well. I only have one other friend and he's schizophrenic too, he's constantly in psychosis and probably the most intense case of schizophrenia I've seen other than myself. I will never have any "normal" relationships with anyone because of the way I'm wired. I've lived this way since I was a child so I've already accepted my fate, but I'm not sure I'm willing to go on like this for longer. The rope is calling my name, but I couldn't do that to my family. I have to suffer daily because of their selfishness in wanting to keep me alive. I'm never getting out of the psychiatric system, and I've been in it since I was 11. I have absolutely no chance of living a normal life outside of psychiatric instutitions and the constant monitoring of my family. I rely on my family to take care of me because I'm practically disabled. My mother has to take care of my money so I don't end up homeless and in debt from my own stupid decisions. I would be dead or a homeless junkie if it wasn't for them, so I'm grateful, but being coerced to live at what cost? I have to self isolate from the world so I don't go full schizo in public. I can't go to school or participate in the real world. Each time I've attempted to I just ended up in the same position. I've almost ended up in prison twice because of my psychosis, but my diagnosis saved me both times. I've done things I will never forgive myself for fully. I've let down all the (few) people in my life. I can't trust myself with others or even myself. I haven't had a day of peace. With schizophrenia there is no peace. No amount of distracting yourself or medication will stop your head from spinning at levels incomprehensible to NTs. All I want is a loving foid to take care of me and accept me for who I am, but that's fairytales. I'm on an important mission at the moment, but if I get out of this psychosis I might try to cure my schizophrenia with diets and some underground therapy method. If I'm stuck like this for the rest of my life, I will accept it, but I pray for another way every day. My uncle has schizophrenia as well and I'm afraid I'll end up like him. Fate is beyond brutal... if you're NT, be grateful you still have a few directions you can take in life despite being an incel. There is simply no hope for me if I don't find some cure. I might be too far gone even if I do, it won't undo the things I've done in my shitty truecel life. How do you even cope with unbearable guilt and shame? I can't look people in the eye anymore, the voices are almost constant, I can't have normal conversations, I can't get my words out in person and barely online, I can't participate in anything because I'm too disconnected from this realm. I'm strangely aware this time around, but it doesn't help me much. Any other schizocels on here?
View: https://youtu.be/vZsSUTXWAbA?si=GLMWwMlZXgi76w18

Brutal man. I feel sorry for you. I think i have autism, but i don't know if it counts as being schizocel. I feel really sorry for you situation. I hope you get better... And that you don't rope.

 

[sensitive young man]

Being ND feels like I'm an alien pretending to be human.