SuicideFuel Being incel and a narcy: a deadly combination

[watcher]

I am a little narcy, in case you don't know, the constant desire to impress others and be admired is a classic narcissistic trait.

Characteristics of a narcissist:

• Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g.exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).
• Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
• Believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).
• Requires excessive admiration.
• Has a sense of entitlement (i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations).
• Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends).
• Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
• Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.
• Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.

I am not saying I have narcissistic personality disorder, since I don't have all the traits, but I could say I am enough of a narcy to have it control most of my life:

• I am always trying to dress well
• Always taking care of my looks, hair, gymcelling, etc.
• Constantly scanning other people's behavior to see how they react towards me
• I feel so nervous while public speaking that I look like I am about to have a heart attack, all because I want people to like my presentation
• I can't escortcel because the way the escort might feel disgusted towards me completely ruins any chance of me enjoying it
• I had hobbies done specifically for the purpose of impressing others, and I would feel crushed and give up the moment I noticed nobody cared
• I had severe anhedonia (lack of pleasure) because I couldn't enjoy things I liked in the past simply because they gave me no validation
• I could easily spend hours in social media posting and looking for likes and replies
• etc etc

Anyway the list could go on forever, the thing is this constant desire to impress others can be brutal as an incel. I am not trying to pretend to be mentally ill or anything like that, its just that this characteristic of my personality exists since I was a child and never went away. I am constantly seeking validation and any sign of disapproval will completely crush me for the rest of the day.

 

[BlackPill Scholar]

I just want to be good at something, anything really, for the self-validation.

 

[watcher]

I just want to be good at something, anything really, for the self-validation.

My problem is that I mostly can't care about anything that does not give me external validation. If I am going to draw, for example, is looking forward to posting it online and getting likes, I would rather play multiplayer online games instead of enjoying a single player one, only to impress other players, shit like this.
The disturbing part is that I only noticed how far this goes recently, I would do things for validation without noticing it, I thought they were done for other reasons.

I noticed I simply cannot bring myself to drawing unless I am going to post it online.

 

[BlackPill Scholar]

My problem is that I mostly can't care about anything that does not give me external validation. If I am going to draw, for example, is looking forward to posting it online and getting likes, I would rather play multiplayer online games instead of enjoying a single player one, only to impress other players, shit like this.
The disturbing part is that I only noticed how far this goes recently, I would do things for validation without noticing it, I thought they were done for other reasons.

I noticed I simply cannot bring myself to drawing unless I am going to post it online.

I relate to a degree. Most things I do are just for the potential validation from other people. Maybe I am projecting, but I feel like most people behave this way. It seems natural that everybody try to increase their social status as much as possible.

Often times I am angry at my friends, mostly for ridiculing me about my appearance or mannerisms. I am somewhat certain that at least some of that anger is because I know they do not respect me in any way nor give me any validation, they see me as lesser than thou.

One of my friends continually brags about how he got sex once, presumably to spite me. He brings it up almost every time we go out.

 

[watcher]

I relate to a degree. Most things I do are just for the potential validation from other people. Maybe I am projecting, but I feel like most people behave this way. It seems natural that everybody try to increase their social status as much as possible.

Often times I am angry at my friends, mostly for ridiculing me about my appearance or mannerisms. Am I somewhat certain that at least some of that anger is because I know they do not respect me in any way nor give me any validation, they see me as lesser than thou.

One of my friends continually brags about how he got sex once, presumably to spite me. He brings it up almost every time we go out.

No, many people (including a lot of incels) don't give a damn, they just live their life. I personally knew incels who just watched their anime and played their video games, instead of trying to change their destiny like I do.

If your friends do things that they know fuck you up just to have fun by causing you pain, they are not friends.

 

[BlackPill Scholar]

No, many people (including a lot of incels) don't give a damn, they just live their life. I personally knew incels who just watched their anime and played their video games, instead of trying to change their destiny like I do.

I wish I could be like that.

If your friends do things that they know fuck you up just to have fun by causing you pain, they are not friends.

I've been wanting to get rid of them for a while now, it's just hard because they're the only form of social life I have.

 

[Tenshi]

i have those

same tbh