Last year, I had a very unhealthy habit of being angry literally every single day because of my inceldom.
Here is what it was like for me, i wake up and i look out of my window to see the bright yellow sun make the trees shine, the sky is light-blue with some wispy clouds in the background, i can hear the birds chirping, i hear the wind breeze through the trees which generates a pleasant sound. Depsite this beautiful view I see when I wake up in my home in Los Angeles, I couldn't help but think about the young couples that will be enjoying this beautiful day while I have to be alone throughout the day as I attend boring college lectures and wageslave. When I was in college lectures, I would not listen to the professor most of the time because I was preoccupied with my negative thoughts. As I sat in my chair during class, I would think about how sad and depressing my life was because young, happy, couples were living in happiness as I rot in loneliness. When classes were over, I Sat alone in the cafeteria to eat lunch. As I bite into my food, I would see couples My age eating together, and it made me hate them. I would sometimes develop violent thoughts as I saw random couples walk by me. As I got back home, I went to bed and before I fall asleep, I fantasized about violence because I hated young, happy, couples so much. I still do, but I have it under control.
This is what it was like every single day for me, I still have these bad days but they are less frequent. I have been trying to distract myself from these negative thoughts by using intense coping strategies. I want to be more calm for the sake of my mental health. So far, I'm doing okay. I'm making some progress.
Here is what it was like for me, i wake up and i look out of my window to see the bright yellow sun make the trees shine, the sky is light-blue with some wispy clouds in the background, i can hear the birds chirping, i hear the wind breeze through the trees which generates a pleasant sound. Depsite this beautiful view I see when I wake up in my home in Los Angeles, I couldn't help but think about the young couples that will be enjoying this beautiful day while I have to be alone throughout the day as I attend boring college lectures and wageslave. When I was in college lectures, I would not listen to the professor most of the time because I was preoccupied with my negative thoughts. As I sat in my chair during class, I would think about how sad and depressing my life was because young, happy, couples were living in happiness as I rot in loneliness. When classes were over, I Sat alone in the cafeteria to eat lunch. As I bite into my food, I would see couples My age eating together, and it made me hate them. I would sometimes develop violent thoughts as I saw random couples walk by me. As I got back home, I went to bed and before I fall asleep, I fantasized about violence because I hated young, happy, couples so much. I still do, but I have it under control.
This is what it was like every single day for me, I still have these bad days but they are less frequent. I have been trying to distract myself from these negative thoughts by using intense coping strategies. I want to be more calm for the sake of my mental health. So far, I'm doing okay. I'm making some progress.
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