L
Lebensmüder
Soon to be deleted account
★★★
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2018
- Posts
- 5,199
You either say nothing or you spam. Spamming happens after a sign stimulus or (with easier words) after somebody "triggers" you - this can happen as follows:
A) By randomly talking about a certain interest of yours (like with me biological subjects and to a lesser degree WWII, this is the only time where you actually feel some kind of euphoria/energy)
or
B) when your ragebar is full (you know that it is not socially acceptable to say a certain thing, that this will lead to trouble and bring nothing positive to the table, but you still cannot hold it in anymore, you have been cringing for hours at the words of somebody and just feel the urge to go all-in -regardless of what happens afterwards).
It is not so that you don't know that this will mostly bore/anger the person, you have that idea always in your head, but you still cannot resist that urge/energy. It just wants out. You have to say it, it's almost like someone throws you in the passenger seats and then takes control over the car that is your mouth. You know the consequences, but still cannot refrain yourself from doing it.
When you talk about something that is interesting or that makes you angry your volume increases until you are far too loud for socially acceptable standards. You also increase the frequency of your words and your sentences make sense (once you don't just remain quiet or make one liners like "Yes"/"No"), you also make almost no mistakes anymore or don't become irritated as much as normally if they happen. You also use the full on termini that an out-sider wouldn't know/isn't interested in (like actually using the scientific names of certain animals or the termini for certain mechanical parts). And you also become physically hyperactive, like throwing around with your arms/walking faster/etc. And even when you post about it on the Internet, you constantly expand the normally short post until it's half an essay while also doing research to be 100% sure that nothing wrong stands in it. As soon as it doesn't go about this stuff you become extremely quiet, say nothing and can barely form a coherent sentence.
A) By randomly talking about a certain interest of yours (like with me biological subjects and to a lesser degree WWII, this is the only time where you actually feel some kind of euphoria/energy)
or
B) when your ragebar is full (you know that it is not socially acceptable to say a certain thing, that this will lead to trouble and bring nothing positive to the table, but you still cannot hold it in anymore, you have been cringing for hours at the words of somebody and just feel the urge to go all-in -regardless of what happens afterwards).
It is not so that you don't know that this will mostly bore/anger the person, you have that idea always in your head, but you still cannot resist that urge/energy. It just wants out. You have to say it, it's almost like someone throws you in the passenger seats and then takes control over the car that is your mouth. You know the consequences, but still cannot refrain yourself from doing it.
When you talk about something that is interesting or that makes you angry your volume increases until you are far too loud for socially acceptable standards. You also increase the frequency of your words and your sentences make sense (once you don't just remain quiet or make one liners like "Yes"/"No"), you also make almost no mistakes anymore or don't become irritated as much as normally if they happen. You also use the full on termini that an out-sider wouldn't know/isn't interested in (like actually using the scientific names of certain animals or the termini for certain mechanical parts). And you also become physically hyperactive, like throwing around with your arms/walking faster/etc. And even when you post about it on the Internet, you constantly expand the normally short post until it's half an essay while also doing research to be 100% sure that nothing wrong stands in it. As soon as it doesn't go about this stuff you become extremely quiet, say nothing and can barely form a coherent sentence.





