My life (or rather lack thereof) is haunting me everyday, everyday is dull and painful for me at this point i can't even enjoy things like games and other such copes that i used to enjoy, what i'm experiencing currently isn't living it's more like existing. i can't cope with the problems i have both as a ugly short male and as a individual in the modern world, very small things bother me and draw great deal of pain to me, i'm envious of sexually successful men and of men who are intelligent. in both irl and social space i'm life mogged to ashes by everyone's life experience i can't compete with them to the point that to me normies are chad tier in terms of success i'm lower than the average person and that fact kills my confidence and my ability to enjoy even the simplest things in life like eating and sleeping, i do not know what to do it boggles me mind to think there are oldcels in nature, how can you be 30+ and be Incel! it is amazingly sad phenomena to me and a hard to swallow fact.
Few months ago i conducted a experiment of sorts i dmed 30 women of various ages on various social platforms, most didn't respond or if they did they just said few words, but one girl responded and she was very submissive, she sent me pics when i asked and a lot of them very perverted, i despite knowing all of this was a fabrication enjoyed my time with her because it showed me just a glimpse of what sexually successful men enjoy, then some time later being content with my experiment i showed her my face and she stopped responding entirely then blocked me.
Even though i knew it was fake i can't explain it to you guys the rush it gave me to have that kind of power, you literally feel like you're drugged it's amazing, and to know that what was a big thing to me is but a dust in Chad's life is what brutalised me, and that's only one aspect of it, currently i'm 19 i'll be 20 in August, life is so fucking bland and horrible to me so many problems from so many angles i really can't deal with it, hell i can confidently say that even if i had a gf and was normie tier my life would still be considered objectively bad by normie standards because my life is truly just that bad rn.
HOW CAN I COPE TILL I'M OLD??? IT IS IMPOSSIBLE I WON'T BE ABLE TO COPE WITH THIS.
Few months ago i conducted a experiment of sorts i dmed 30 women of various ages on various social platforms, most didn't respond or if they did they just said few words, but one girl responded and she was very submissive, she sent me pics when i asked and a lot of them very perverted, i despite knowing all of this was a fabrication enjoyed my time with her because it showed me just a glimpse of what sexually successful men enjoy, then some time later being content with my experiment i showed her my face and she stopped responding entirely then blocked me.
Even though i knew it was fake i can't explain it to you guys the rush it gave me to have that kind of power, you literally feel like you're drugged it's amazing, and to know that what was a big thing to me is but a dust in Chad's life is what brutalised me, and that's only one aspect of it, currently i'm 19 i'll be 20 in August, life is so fucking bland and horrible to me so many problems from so many angles i really can't deal with it, hell i can confidently say that even if i had a gf and was normie tier my life would still be considered objectively bad by normie standards because my life is truly just that bad rn.
HOW CAN I COPE TILL I'M OLD??? IT IS IMPOSSIBLE I WON'T BE ABLE TO COPE WITH THIS.
