i spent one year in college before i had to drop out for want of killing myself
Same for me with uni, people don't get that its like a domino effect.
Lust turns into rage when not satiated and you are constantly exposed to stimuli, so you're angry all the time, it also makes you depressed so you are depressed and angry all the time, your motivation begins to waver because you are now tired of existing, breathing feels like a chore, nihilism becomes your normal way of thinking, and you question what is event the point of all this time and effort if you can't even gain access to the basic pleasures everyone else around you does.
"If educaiton is so important to a fulfilling life, then why is everyone else around me so happy and fulfilled with just sex and relationships?"
I went from being consistent and putting in effort, to minimal effort, last minute project finishes, and cram studying for exams 1 or 2 days before the exam, sometimes a little hours before the exam, I was burnt out, I literally didn't even care if I died. Then later around that time after that semester done (months after I think), one of my friends killed himself.
He was a normie who was tall, handsome, had multiple past relationships with cute girls, had parents with significant wealth and connections and was set to get a job from his father at their company, he had everything going for him and still killed himself. I don't really consider him a friend anymore tbh because:
1. What kind of friend just does that knowing his friends want him around, not even saying anything to us about his thoughts
2. Its kind of an indirect insult, pretty much saying - "you should probably kill yourself", because if he did with his life being that good, the implication of his actions is that I should probably do it to, because my life is significantly worse
I can't see myself going back to university I just don't see the point of all the effort anymore, I could have just gone to a trade school and picked up a decent paying trade where you can always find work, and I'd have no problem doing that, I think we all fall for the "higher eduation" meme, but I know guys that thought themselves a trade of fixing and repairing cars and they are making so much money, money you can make by working with your hands is pretty much assured and you'll always have work, we'll always need plumbers, contractors, car repairs, computer repairs, etc.
All these office type jobs are hard to get and have more to do with having connections than being qualified, which makes "higher education" even more ironic. After I went into the working world and saw what it was really like I felt betrayed and lied to by the world, all these teachers telling you shit about studying hard and getting a degree, I know so many people with degrees that can't even get a good job, but a lot of guys who learnt trades and they are making good money, does a degree owner have a higher earning potential, yes, but they have to get hired first, and 9 times out of 10 its the normie that made connections and friends, rather than studying will get that job that the qualified person if they at least have "bare pass qualifications", and in some cases they don't need anything.
