fernandopox said:
You and I have the same age and we've both suffered a lot, for different reasons but still. An advice I can give you is to stop thinking it's over and get off incel forums because it is devastating for guys like you who genuinely think they don't have a chance. Think about the fact that you don't have down syndrome or any other serious mental condition. In the end of the day, you are using internet, typing messages, going out as you said in a previous post in this thread, doing normal stuff. You are not sick in the head AFAIK so take that and take it slowly, be aware of the fact that people might see you as a weirdo and try not to sperg randomly. I have a brother like you, you know. Normie-looking, nice hair, skin and teeth. He could have had a completely normal life if he had understood that he is not a fucking child. Nowadays he is 40, single, forever alone and a "mentalcel" but I think in part it was because of his pride in refusing to get serious help. Do you have the problem of pride? You may have tried to get help but maybe deep down in you there is still a strong pride that doesn't want to let go and now you are easily blaming your shit life on mentalceldom. All I can say mate is that life isn't easy, not even for Chad and Stacy, we all have problems and difficulties and need to work on them.
You don't know what does and does not constitute a goddamn serious mental condition.
Clinical depression kills people. The successful suicide rate for people with any form of PTSD is like 1 in 20. Bipolar disorder that's severe enough puts you on fucking disability.
Do you know why I'm here?
Because I am
also on mental illness forums and I have been for a decade now. Because even most people with BPD can form unstable relationships, but I can't because I'm more fucked up than they are. I am in therapy, I am taking all of my psychiatric meds within the same 5 minute period every single day. I am still so horrifically emotionally unstable and have so many interpersonal triggers that I simply cannot interact with people in public anymore beyond structured mumbling at cashiers and such. It's not even that I'm terrified of people, it's that once I am actually around people my body and subconscious brace for abuse.
I can't unwire that part of me. We've been trying for ten years. I still go into fight or flight on dates.
I'm here because I am involuntarily not having sex with anyone.
I am here because through no fault of my own I do not fit in with and am incapable of participating equally in society and social dynamics.
I am here because the thing that actively harms me in my life the most is my isolation and my inability to find positive physical touch anywhere.
I am here because I have taken ever positive step everyone has ever taken me and my problems stopped getting better a long time ago and it's fucking over for me. I am going to die alone and unloved because I am too fucked up mentally to sustain even a basic friendship with someone of the same gender, much less an intimate or sexual relationship.
I am here because I am a goddamn incel.
And because this is the only place I can lament my lack of sex life that anyone understands or gives a shit. BPD forums don't want to hear about how I'm so unstable no one will fuck me. They don't want to hear my frustration that I went on yet another date, my second in a month, and wasted money because something set me off and I had to spend 10 minutes having some kind of attack in the bathroom or disassociated really hard and said something fucking wierd because I wasn't grounded in reality.
There's hope for me? My last actual date had me babbling apologies at the table while I hyperventilated during a flashback to my father punching me because she said something he used to say and she freaked out and excused herself and fled the fucking restaurant.