Before I begin, I’d like to state how much of a loser I am for ever REMEMBERING this. This was during my senior year of high school, which was around 2-3 years ago at this point, in a class I was always slacking in, and the person who said this to me talked to me a total of maybe 4-5 times ever.
It was around 1:30, the beginning of the last class of the day, or somewhere around there. I was sitting down, watching some shitty mansion tour video that I’d usually watch during classes I was either passing with flying colors or a class that I didn’t need to graduate. There was a group of people who would laugh at me every single day, just for existing, wondering why I haven’t killed myself yet. They made it their goal to torment me, fuck with me, just make my day worse in any way possible. One of the kids, walks up to me and asks me the fateful question, “Sbccel, are you an incel?” I answered no, because at the time I had no idea what that was. Then he walked away and laughed at me. As most interactions went in high school. After this, the day ended, I had track practice, and then I went home. I then looked up what this was, this turned out to be the worst overall/best for a little bit, decision of my entire life. I learned the basics over that week, mostly focusing on the lookism aspect y’know “Life’s better when you’re attractive” it’s like taking the rose tinted glasses off, forever. I couldn’t enjoy anything, not a game, not a call with an online friend, not even beating my dick. I was empty. And over a few years until now, I’ve learned a lot, lots of copes, met and talked to a lot of fellow inkwells, but deep down I know I’ll never be the same. The worst it ever got was when I first went to therapy, and I had to pretend to not believe what I believed, because I thought I still had a chance at living a decent life, even though I’m subhuman (this is why I talk to my therapist about inceldom now, I have nothing to lose). Being here, objectively only brings me sadness and depression, let’s cut the fat here, the way we think is unbelievably negative, but it’s reality, and it makes a scary amount of sense. Even though being on this site, or being anywhere near this community only makes me want to kill myself, I know that this is the only place on Earth I’m heard, understood, and MAYBE a little bit appreciated and respected. Be nice to your fellow incel, we’re here for life.
It was around 1:30, the beginning of the last class of the day, or somewhere around there. I was sitting down, watching some shitty mansion tour video that I’d usually watch during classes I was either passing with flying colors or a class that I didn’t need to graduate. There was a group of people who would laugh at me every single day, just for existing, wondering why I haven’t killed myself yet. They made it their goal to torment me, fuck with me, just make my day worse in any way possible. One of the kids, walks up to me and asks me the fateful question, “Sbccel, are you an incel?” I answered no, because at the time I had no idea what that was. Then he walked away and laughed at me. As most interactions went in high school. After this, the day ended, I had track practice, and then I went home. I then looked up what this was, this turned out to be the worst overall/best for a little bit, decision of my entire life. I learned the basics over that week, mostly focusing on the lookism aspect y’know “Life’s better when you’re attractive” it’s like taking the rose tinted glasses off, forever. I couldn’t enjoy anything, not a game, not a call with an online friend, not even beating my dick. I was empty. And over a few years until now, I’ve learned a lot, lots of copes, met and talked to a lot of fellow inkwells, but deep down I know I’ll never be the same. The worst it ever got was when I first went to therapy, and I had to pretend to not believe what I believed, because I thought I still had a chance at living a decent life, even though I’m subhuman (this is why I talk to my therapist about inceldom now, I have nothing to lose). Being here, objectively only brings me sadness and depression, let’s cut the fat here, the way we think is unbelievably negative, but it’s reality, and it makes a scary amount of sense. Even though being on this site, or being anywhere near this community only makes me want to kill myself, I know that this is the only place on Earth I’m heard, understood, and MAYBE a little bit appreciated and respected. Be nice to your fellow incel, we’re here for life.
